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  • 2 Post By Thrill
  • 1 Post By DirectIsBest

Thread: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

  1. #1
    Thrill is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    Lessons here:
    1. How to get back a girl with whom there was mutual interest, but you put her aside for a while (for whatever reason) and now want to get her back.
    2. When a girl qualifies her relationship status, i.e., "kinda wifed-up," she's probably not invested in her relationship, so you probably have an open door.

    Background: About a week ago, I asked for text advice on this forum regarding a girl who I picked up a year ago ("HB9") and later moved to NYC (where I live) last fall. We hung out a couple times but no f-close because of roommate issues, and I was seeing other girls at the time, one of whom ended up becoming my girlfriend, so I stopped talking to HB9. HB9 would occasionally reach out to me, and I would respond but never make plans because I was in a relationship. Recently becoming single, when I noticed HB9's Instagram post of a picture of the party where we met a year ago, I commented, then she commented, so I texted her. We went back and forth for a couple days until she told me that was "kinda wife-up these days lol." That's when I asked for advice on this forum, and one fellow member responded, who thought that I should move on because she was just being nice about saying "I'm taken. go away." Although, as it turns out, I am very much in the game, I responded to her today (1-2 after not responding to her) by saying what the forum member advised me to say. Below is the text conversation:

    Her: Sorry [for the delay] I was at work. I've been laying off the partying. I'm kinda wifed-up these days lol.
    *No conversation in 1-2 weeks.*
    Me: Hey, I gotta new phone after my exam so I'm still getting delayed texts. Just got your last text. Text me when ur single.
    Her (immediately): It's like that? Lol
    Me: Like what? Given our history and our connection, I don't think being "just friends" is in the cards for us.
    Me: Besides, there's millions of ppl in NYC, and you haven't even been here a year. If ur already in a relationship, he must really be out of this world incredible. (My off-the-cuff, customized bf destroyer)
    Her: He is pretty incredible.
    Her: But not like you were pursuing anything with me
    Me: I was. I never hid my interest. But I'm not gonna keep chasing when I don't get responses
    Her: You fell off the face of the planet
    Me: Aww hahah I've always been here . And it'd be great to spend time together, but not if you're in an official relationship
    Her: It's official. But rocky
    Me: Life's too short for rocky relationships. Let me know when you realize that
    Her: Or you could let me know next time you're doing something fun.
    Her: How did your exam go?

    We'll see what happens from here.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Thrill For This Useful Post:

    ImPat (04-05-2015)

  3. #2
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    I was going to respond to your other post but I forgot about it. Based on your other post I never thought you were "out of the game" per se. She's totally feeling you out as an option because her relationship will end soon. I like the frame you're putting out there that you won't hang out with her when she's in a relationship. If you keep that frame but respond to her when she contacts you, you will be golden. You're doing great! All you got to do is keep doing what you're doing and hang out with her when her doomed relationship ends.

  4. #3
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    Thrill my man, I love what you're doing. You're controlling the frame laying down the law and not getting sucked into her shit. Keep going man, keep doing what you're doing you do not need us. BTW, her saying you fell off of the planet and shit like that only proves that she wants you and you're answers are so direct so uncensored so alpha. LOVE IT MAN JUST LOVE IT !
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    Thanks guys! Here's the update on our convo, picking up from where I left off above. This convo was yesterday.

    Her: Or you could let me know next time you're doing something fun.
    Her: How did your exam go?
    Me: I could. We always have fun, but it wouldn't be as just friends.
    Me: I think it went well, but you never really know with these exams. I went out to Princeton afterward. Rented a car and hotel room, was a nice little getaway
    Her: I've never been.
    Me: Fun little college town with not much to do. Great cupcake spot! Other than that, just ran around campus. Walked around some beautiful old buildings
    Me: Happy Easter btw! ������. R u celebrating?
    Her: Meh. I don't really celebrate. Happy Passover. Are you celebrating?
    Me: Same as u, don't fully celebrate. Went to a Seder with my fam fri night. That's it. Omw to dinner now before the theater. Ttys
    *Few hours laters*
    Her: Have fun. How was the show?
    *No response from me. Couple hours later...*
    Her: Well happy easter// Passover... I'm single.
    Her: Let's play
    *Today*
    Me: It was great! Very unique. Good to know. See u soon

    We've been chatting and making plans since. I have a feeling that she really isn't single, but I figure, eh whatevs, she won't be my girlfriend anywya. Time to play...

    - Thrill

  6. #5
    Thrill is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    So, now that the girl has just left my place, and I'm still drunk from the tequila that we drank together, here's my final update. On my afternoon run today, she saw me and stopped me (we had already made plans to meet up later). She was on the way to a "friend's" place to drop her stuff off and go for a run before meeting me. I'm nice but brief because I'm mid-run. Yadda yadda an hour or so goes by. We meet up to drink in a nearby park, and on the way there, she realized that she left her shorts, which had her debit card, at her "friend's" place. After offering to walk her there, she comes clean that it's her ex's place. I'm thinking "yeah ok, he's not an ex." Well, after we stopped at Duane Read for her to get a phone charger because her phone died, she asked to come to my place so she could charge it. Obviously, I had no issue with that. So we're at my place, drinking tequila, catching up, hanging out on my deck watching the sunset. It was time to bring her back inside: "Oh wait, I have something for your to try." I showed her my newly acquired moonshine, which she tried, then we sat on my couch. Worried about her debit card because her "ex" can be "vindictive," she called him. I'm thinking, "this is such bs, they're still together." Well, I don't think I've heard a more uncomfortable conversation in my life. She said, "please don't do this" several times and asked if she could grab her stuff. After the convo, she said, "He kept saying, 'tell me that you love me.'" That's why she kept saying "please don't do this." She had to leave for a party anyway, which she told me about yesterday, so we didn't f close, but we made out a lot.

    When she told me that she was single, although I doubted it at the time, it's apparent now that she actually meant it. She dumped him once I started texting her. I never told her to do that, and her relationship with him was obviously shitty, so I can't feel badly. That said, I was the impetus for her to dump him, so props to our community. And lastly, I'm back in the game baby! Better be good to your girlfriends.

    - Thrill

  7. #6
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    Word. I've been in your situation SO MANY TIMES. That's why I knew you were in the game. Allot of women just need someone else to be there to end their bad relationship. This is a perfect example of that. I'm glad it worked out for you. Cheers!

  8. #7
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    Default Re: Get Back a Girl You've Put Aside for Months

    Couldn't agree more man. She just needed that tiny push to get out of that shitty relationship. She just needed to feel that there is seriously a better option for her, instead of just another asshole loser. Congrats ! After I hear stories like this I remember why I love the game sooo much !!
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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