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  • 1 Post By CesareBorgia

Thread: Fb conversation Need some help!

  1. #1
    slender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Fb conversation Need some help!

    Hi guys, I'm pretty new to online dating and text msgs.
    Please I need some help.
    Fb conversation:

    Her:
    Hi


    Me:
    Hi stranger


    Her:
    How are you?


    Me:
    From what I hear, I am very good and you?


    Her:
    Ha ha ha!! That's cute
    I'm sickie again..


    Me:
    No way! That's too bad!
    But why?


    Her:
    I dunno. I went to the dr. They said its cause of stress


    Me:
    I wish I could do something for you.
    To make you feel better.


    Her:
    Awe soon..we should hang out


    Me:
    I was trying to find the hug emoji like whatsapp. To send you a hug
    But I didn't find it


    Her:
    Yeah I don't know if there is one


    Me:
    Ok
    Then I send a gif of a hug


    Her:
    Awe!!!
    Well sweet dreams sweet. Mimis time for me


    Me:
    Take care and you know I really mean it. Good night


    Next day:
    Her:
    How was your day?


    Me:
    I think my shoulders need a massage. And you?


    Her
    Awe! I need cuddles lol


    Me:
    Yeah you need to be spoil with cuddles & forehead kisses just bc you're sick :P


    Her:
    I do I do!!


    Me:
    As long as I'm getting some massages lol


    Her:
    Ok ok. Deal! Lol


    Me:

    I love rainy days, it's the perfect excuse to stay in bed all day.


    Her:
    Lol. Except for when you have to go to work lol


    Me:
    Although it looks pretty scary over my window. I think I saw a zombie...


    Her:
    I love zombies lol


    Me:
    I'm scared of zombies.


    Next day
    Me:
    Hey Long beach girl are you going to ...?


    Her:
    Lol. Yes I am. You?


    Me:
    I was thinking of going & wear my best outfit cuz you'll be there


    No answer yet. What I'm doing wrong?

  2. #2
    CesareBorgia is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    You're pulling, but not pushing. You might try to turn the switch on/off several times. Get her to engage you, respond, then let her end the conversation with a message that you could have answered. If she attempts to illicit a response by saying something more, then wait before you respond. Don't make yourself too available, it might seem you are sitting in front of Fb all day waiting for a response, or on your phone, etc.

    Insinuate something more than kisses and cute cuddles, etc. If she takes it the wrong way, then ask her what was SHE thinking and play it if off. If she responds in a positive way say something like, that's not what I really meant but your interest level has just skyrocketed. It leaves the door open to more conversation of a different type.

    Small talk is fine, hope you get well, I like rain, but it's not establishing anything deeper. Get around the required social cues, make the conversation interesting, tell a story about when you were sick, or depressed, or even offer help by telling her when you were stressed that you were fortunate enough to have someone you could have sex with, because sex as you know is a great stress reliever.

    Also quantify your quality. Share the work in getting to know her but don't take on the entire burden of keeping the conversation going. Circumvent her social triggers and get to the genetic triggers so that she thinks of you in a different, more meaningful and deeper way.

    C...

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    slender (05-17-2015)

  4. #3
    slender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    Thank you so much for your help, Cesare.

    I haven't had the chance to meet her, I asked her for # on Okcupid and then she asked me for my fb. It's been over a month and I'm struggling to have a date with her.
    I really like her, but I don't know how to ask her out.

    I'm more introvert person.
    Are there any books or videos that you can recommend me?
    I'd to learn how to text a cute girl and ask her out.
    Thanks again!

  5. #4
    CesareBorgia is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    To be completely honest, I am just learning the lingo and haven't really read a lot, or watched videos or other media. I am going on my own experience and my background in psychology. I am sure there are people on this forum that know far better than myself what material you might should read or watch, etc.

    You could probably google a lot of this information, or find a lot of what you are looking for on this site. Or make a request to the larger community and actually get some good solid advice on what might have worked or what other people found to be the best sources of information.

    I was very interested in this type of thing when I was attending college, so I studied it, and this during a time prior to this information being readily available on the internet. I was very interested in NLP, hypnotism, suggestion, etc and applied them in different ways during my social experiments to get really good solid positive results. So what I express here is what has worked for me, for more years than I really care to admit.

    I am here myself to learn, or to update my game. I have been out of it for some time, I was in a long term relationship with an incredible woman, stunning in fact, much younger than myself by a little more than 20 years. She died in a car accident 3 years ago, and I'm only now getting my feet back under me. So while I can express things here that I know for a fact work because I employed them myself, I am a bit dated and honestly had no idea things had progressed to the point they have.

    If you ask me direct questions, here, or advice as you did in your original post I can give you what advice I have, and you can use what you find useful. But more than that I have to admit I am not sure. Books I have read have to do with advanced understanding of psychology, and I doubt you would find them engaging or interesting, as well I would have to look back through my notes to even remember the exact titles.

    I can and would suggest reading one book that comes to the top of my head. An old school book that many sales people have used to good effect.

    How to Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie: 9781508569756: Amazon.com: Books

    I would suggest anyone interested in this type of thing to read this book as it is most likely the basis for much of what is discussed here.

    C...

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  7. #5
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    I'm really sorry for your loss. I canít imagine what youíre going through.
    I had a friend (That I met him for almost 2 weeks) It took me months to recover. He is in a better place I know for sure. One month later I had a car accident and it might sound crazy but he saved my life, he was with me the whole time, the car was spinning out of control and I couldn't stop it.
    I was thinking too many things in just a fragment of time, I was going to hit the brakes, he told me not to do it and then I just remember that I hit a wall, the car just had a few scratches, that's all.
    I was scared to death and in shocked too.


    I thought you were more experienced kinda guy.
    Maybe it's just a matter of time for me to get there.
    Yeah, I love that book. Almost 13 years ago, one friend gave it to me but you know what? I haven't read it and now I have it in pdf format. I really need to read it ASAP lol.
    Thanks for the tips

  8. #6
    CesareBorgia is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    Thank you...

    I certainly don't think you are crazy. I can explain the psychology a little, behind what you felt. When someone is close to us, we actually build a mental pathway in our brain for that particular person, specially when they are very close and we have known them for a long period of time.

    So the neurons that make up this mental pathway, actually become friendly with each other, like coordination. If they are very close, we can even finish their sentences for them sometimes, or know how they might react to specific things, or even feel.

    Every time we think of this person, or they are around us, these mental pathways become stronger, the neurons more friendly, and under conditions where we feel emotions your hypothalamus actually releases small string amino acids that are coded to affect us in a physical way. I'll give you an example.

    When you first meet someone and they trigger an emotional response, you might feel weak in the knees, or you might feel like you have butterflies in your stomach. But the reaction is delayed. This is because the emotion you feel is processed, and then the small string amino acids are released into your blood system and must travel from that point, to wherever they are encoded to affect you. So if you say something to someone that causes them embarrassment, small string amino acids coded to cause the capillaries in your cheeks to expand, and your cheeks to do what we call blush.

    Over time, your body can become addicted to these small string amino acids. This is why some women who were treated a certain way by their father, end up with a man that treats them in the same way. So asking about a girls father may give you some insight into how she wants to be treated. But if we take a negative example such as a woman who's father hits her, even though she does not like or want that type of treatment, still, those same small string amino acids are released to cause her physically to respond in a specific way and she can become addicted to them. So she ends up with a guy that hits her.

    As we become addicted to the small string amino acids that the closest people to us cause to be released, because of the emotions that we experience when around them, the body starts to crave having those emotions and will cause our brain to feel that we miss that person. As the neurons become more and more friendly, they will want more interaction with each of the neurons they are familiar with, and also want more activity down that particular mental pathway so they can talk with the friendly neurons they are so close to.

    This is why we feel loss so keenly. This is also why when we break up, or loose a loved one we feel such incredible pain, your body is begging for more small string amino acids, and our neurons in the mental pathway we created for that person are wanting to talk with each other, but the stimuli is missing so they just go on wanting. This is the emotional and mental pain we feel when those people are no longer in our life.

    There are many ways we cope with these things, one way is to remember those people, which causes those mental pathways to be used again, and gives us some relief. This is why we feel better when we talk about our loss, when someone passes away or moves on and leaves us behind.

    But this is also a very interesting benefit to those of us who are left here to live our life. We can still use those mental pathways, and sometimes, specially if that person was able to give us comfort, without even realizing we are doing this, we send thoughts down those mental pathways, and our brains are able to give us advice so to speak, based on what that person might have done, or the advice they may have given us.

    In very rare cases these mental pathways may illicit memories, and recall them. Some people feel their touch, but it's the memory of a touch they are feeling not an actual touch. Some hear their voice, but again it's a memory of a voice they are recalling. Because we create our reality, inside our mind, we can literally create any reality we want. We try to live in the world we call "real" but all of what we are experiencing is actually happening within our own mind. Our mind exists in complete darkness without any light. The only way we can experience what we call reality is that we have our senses, plugged into our brain that sends electronic information to illicit a memory or causes us to bring up many memories to reason new information so that we might strive to understand it.

    I promise I am getting somewhere with this, just hang in there.

    If I were to disconnect your brain from all it's senses, and had a computer program, and wires I could connect to those same parts of your brain. And that computer program was able to translate what I wanted, through the computer, through those wires to the inside of your brain I could literally create for you any reality I wanted. But only based on your prior experiences, or your ability to reason using prior experiences already stored within your brain.

    Under extreme conditions, specially when we are scared and adrenaline has been dumped into our system. Your short term memory, where information is brought up into, processed and reasoned, gets emptied. It's a flight or fight response that causes this to happen. Like if you cram for a test the night before, go to take the test and cannot remember anything it might be that the test scared you so bad, that your flight/fight response kicked in and dumped all that you were trying to retain in your short term memory access.

    So because you were under extreme duress, because your flight/fight response kicked in and cleared out your short term memory access, and your ability to reason with the information contained, you kicked into primal mode. Your brain searched, as fast as it was able, any information that might help you, and then sought to present it in a way you would quickly trust, understand and be more likely to accept and use. In this case, a friend who passed away that you trusted. So your brain processed the information you needed, and gave it to you in a way you would quickly accept and take action on, but only because that mental pathway still existed, and your brain was able to use it to think about what your friend might do under those circumstances. This all happens in a flash, a blink of an eye, in a fraction of a second.

    After, your brain attempts to reason what happened, or you might just simply accept it happened and attribute it to your friend being there. The cool thing about this is your friend actually was there, in a sense. Being that you continue to honor your close friend by remembering him, and most likely because it's less painful for your mental pathways if you do think about him, your brain was able to use what is almost like a part of you friend, inside your brain, to reason what it should do. In short, your friend lives on in your brain in such a way, that a part of them did not die, and still lives on within you, inside you. If you continue to honor your friends memory by thinking of them, by remembering them, you can retain that mental pathway, and ability, for the rest of your life. Although it's intensity will fade a bit over time, they can always be a part of you if you truly allow it.

    We see this type of thing in many cultures where they honor the dead, and remember them. I will never forget my friends mother, who was Japanese. She honored her husband who died before her, by having a picture of him on a chest of drawers. Every meal she would leave something for him on a plate, she would talk with him, and would say that she let her know what she should do when she sought advice. It was this daily ritual that allowed her to strengthen and maintain the mental pathway she built in her brain for him, that allowed her this ability.

    So if your friends hand guided you, it's only because you honor their memory, but remembering them. It's your faithful dedication to their memory that made it possible for them to help you in your extreme time of need. This might not be exactly what you thought of what you experienced, but that's only because you did not have the information to explain it otherwise. And under normal circumstances I would not have imparted this information to you, because it is a very special feeling to have that someone cared enough about you, to step over the boundaries of death to help you. Which you could say is what really happened. But since this person was obviously a very important part of your life for whatever period of time that caused you to build such a strong bond with them, I thought it better to explain this to you so that you might retain that part of your friend that still exists in your mind, if you so choose to.

    Anyway, I hope that my explaining this helps, and doesn't cause you distress. I think it's a wonderful thing you were able to experience, and although I don't hope you have to need them again in the way you have. I do hope that you are able to continue using this mental pathway, and that it continues to help you, that your friend continues to help you.

    C....

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  10. #7
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    There's a lot of smooching on your part. Kind of ass kissing a little too much for my taste. I personally would take a step back from kissing her arse and get a little challenging. You should also slip in some sexual innuendos her and there. Just spice it up. It's just you being "oh, let me take care of you"

  11. #8
    slender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Fb conversation Need some help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Assertive View Post
    There's a lot of smooching on your part. Kind of ass kissing a little too much for my taste. I personally would take a step back from kissing her arse and get a little challenging. You should also slip in some sexual innuendos her and there. Just spice it up. It's just you being "oh, let me take care of you"
    Ok so I'll stop kissing her ass like you said and get more challenging.
    Thank you dude, Nice tip.
    But how can I get to that point? Do I have to be more aggressive?


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