Matched an HB8 on Coffee Meets Bagel. We messaged briefly then she started getting a little strange. Possibly because I was being boring… My instinct said to let her go and focus on better prospects, but then I figured I don’t have much to lose, so I might as well mess with her a little. Anyway, a really strange conversation commenced. I’d love some feedback from the community on what I did right and wrong… This was pretty much entirely done in RFR
Me: Hey ****, who brews the best beer in town?
H: Founders, easy
H: what do you think?
M: All-day is my goto, but I’m gonna cheat and say Bell’s because Two-hearted is just top notch… Who makes the best Tacos?
H: Hmmm I’m not a huge taco fan, but I would say San Jose on division and Hall
H: Otherwise El granjero on Bridge is my go to
M: What is your favorite dish?
H: Dish, Where?
M: ?? What’s your favorite food to eat, goofball!
M: I’m gonna go for a bike ride!
H: My favorite food is sandwhiches
M: Banana pickle and mayo?
H: So what’s your story?
M: Like tonight? I rode my bike to get ice cream. My date is pissed that I’m texting you so much
H: Oh, that’s awkward?
M: Well you’re more fun
H: Do you have a girlfriend?
M: No, I have a boyfriend
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
M: You should get one, they’re great
H: Not a super ideal thing to be on a thing like this when you have a boyfriend
H: or a girlfriend
M: Its all about having fun, right? You like fun, I can tell
H: I don’t like this messaging thing. ***-***-**** if you want to talk
Transition to text – about 20 minutes later
M: Hey ****, how’s your night going? Kevin from Coffee
H: He to
M: Its too hot out to ride bikes
H: So who is this date?
M: Who was she?
H: Who wassss she
H: Tinder, Bagels? Eharmony? Or, real life?
M: Some chick
M: They’re all real, right? I mean she wasn’t a robot
H: Are you a jerk?
M: I guess it depends on who you ask
H: Was she a girlfiend?
H: So what are you looking for?
M: If you ask me I know I’m a real sweetheart
H: Oh yahhhh shore
M: I just want someone that appreciates my banana pickle and mayo sandwiches
H: But what is a banana pickle?
M: it has both
M: What, you’ve crushed me
M: It goes great with innuendo fries, you’re just going to have to trust me
H: I’m not understanding this conversation
M: Why do you think I’m a jerk?
M: Are you on Eharmony? That place spams the hell out of me…
H: Nope, not on eharmony
H: Idk, the way you were talking about that girl
BTW, I totally made that up. I went by myself to get some ice cream. Had no date.
M: She was getting bratty. Why should I put up with that?
M: Exactly. Kinda like one word texts…
M: ****, Pick one. Beiber, Skrillex or Beiber with Skrillex?
H: What is Skrillex?
M: check him on youtube?
H: So why are you on that bagel site?
H: I had never heard of it til this week
H: and hey I just noticed your dig on one word texts ha
M: I want to meet a decent woman. That let’s me do naughty things to her…
H: Isn’t that what tinder is for?
M: I will find out tomorrow. My first tinder date… (this is true and it went fantastic, Much thanks to the community!!)
M: yes hopefully, my one word texting friend
H: wah wah
H: two words
M: If I take you out will you say more than 1 word at a time?
M: I would be ok with 1 long moan at a time
M: You said you weren’t religious
H: But I’m also not looking for a One Night Stand
H: 10 words
M: I appreciate that
M: What gives you the impression that I’m looking for a one night stand?
H: They way you talk
M: Well, when you stand mute like you’ve been some crazy shit comes out of my phone….
M: Tell me about yourself
M: Stop one word texting and work with me
H: What do you want to know!
M: What kind of communications do you coordinate?
We have some mutual interests and friends that we discuss for a bit. Too personal to share
H: Where do you live?
M: I move from shelter to shelter
M: How about you?
H: I live near ********, but I just put an offer in on a house in ******
H: So hopefully moving in july
Anyway, there’s more, but this is like 4 pages of text so let’s stop here. Thoughts?