Hey guys so I have a bit of a conundrum because based on what I've found online and the content on the forums, I think I did some things right and some things wrong on this first date. I met this girl through POF, she's really sweet, traditional. Fine with me, I like a Christian girl and am looking for a LTR which works out. Anyway, when we were texting that whole first week, it was going well. I just read something T-Mal said about texting her every day, up until the day of the date. I did that wrong by making the date with her Sunday, and hadn't talked to her until Tuesday. Even Tuesday's conversation was light and uneventful. Woops.
So we meet downtown, we walk towards each other, my eyes locking to hers, making sure my posture is good, with a big ass smile on my face. I almost yell, "Hey V, how are you?!" hug and kiss her on the cheek. I open the doors, with my other hand on the small of her back, we got drinks and an app at this place we both never tried. I wanted to Kino but we were sitting across from each other. At least it was in a dimly lit corner of a half-empty restaurant so it was kind of intimate. She refused to try the food -- I could tell she was nervous. We leave, but on the way out into the Square, she says she doesn't go over a house on the first date. I joked about going to Starbucks now so that counts as a second date! Off we went...
I held her hand crossing the street, she really liked it and we held hands to Starbucks and she closely walked next to me as if we linked arms that close. Then inside, it seemed that the conversation was fizzling after a short while. At first, she was twirling her hair in her hand a lot -- like crazy twirling, which to my knowledge is good. Awesome eye contact, pupils dilated. But after the first 15, that's when it started to fizzle. I was still nervous so I think that was affecting my ability to free-associate in the conversation. I know if we did it again, I'd be way more chill now that I got that out of my system. The kino was kind of dying off during the second venue at Starbucks, and even though my hand was on her knee for more than half of our coffee trip, she didn't seem AS INTO it, but still kind of into me. I think the issue was I was talking about 50%. I wanted her to talk more but I couldn't think of more questions or statements to make and her answers weren't very long. Kind of a shy, conservative girl like I mentioned.
I think I really did well with comfort, somewhat decent with attraction, but hardly any seduction. At the end, I walked her to her car, hugged and kissed her on the cheek like I mentioned, asked her if she wanted to come over for the second time (I asked her an hour prior, after the bar but before coffee) and again she said not on the first date smiling and kind of laughing nervously. I went in for the kiss, and she turned her head laughing, "I don't kiss on the first date!" I then said something like "Oh, so traditional! Fine." Gave her a kiss on her cheek and then, "Where's my kiss?!" in a playful way and she kissed me twice on the same cheek. She's a sweet girl and totally conservative so I didn't push it. She then says, "Text me?" I tell her okay, and then she gets in. I start walking to my car down the street out of view. I felt like shit because I didn't KC, though she's conservative, and on the way back to my car it dawned on me. I forgot to arrange the second date!
So here I am, same night, it's 11:15, the date ended around 7:30-8:00 (only a 2 hour long date. I could have extended the date but I didn't realize how short it was until I left) and she hasn't texted saying she had fun or anything. I'm taking that as a clue I probably blew it, but I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I mean she did say, "Text me?" in that kind of upward inflecting not-so-sure questioning tone. I have -- COUNT 'EM -- 4 questions for you guys!:
1. What did I do wrong here besides what I already mentioned?
2. I know I did really well with comfort, somewhat good with attraction, but seduction? I mean, if the girl is THAT conservative, did I do the best I could do in that department? I mean if she's going to hold to her principles, then I'll respect that. But I guess what I'm asking is, is it over? It felt weird trying to move beyond attraction because she was putting up walls when I tried to kiss her.
3. If it's not over, do I text her tomorrow if she doesn't text me? And if I do, what do I say? "I had a really good time last night. Almost as good as you did! I'd love to see you again on X day, X time."? Sounds boring but I'm too tired to come up with anything fancy.
4. On the second date, what should I focus on particularly based on what little of my personal game I've provided here? What does it sound like I need to work on besides calming down and just enjoying my time, especially when you have such a Christian girl on your hands? How do I escalate with a conservative girl whose family is from Latin America that actually holds to her principles? Takes time? I know a lot of guys would argue that a girl saying that is just testing and bullshitting me but I disagree. All opinions wanted and respected regardless of agreeableness of course.
It's my first date in like, 3 months and I just moved to the city so I'm going out again this weekend and approaching random girls at bars and in the street. I was really nervous and I know it was having an effect on my ability to converse, and she probably noticed it in body language and whatever other signals I was giving off. Fending off oneitis as we speak by distracting myself. Plus I'm going to start opening girls online tomorrow as well as in person Friday night. THANK YOU GUYS. I can't wait to hear what you think!