Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By Mr. Assertive
  • 1 Post By Mr. Assertive

Thread: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

  1. #1
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 145, Level: 2
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    31
    Points
    145
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Hey guys so I have a bit of a conundrum because based on what I've found online and the content on the forums, I think I did some things right and some things wrong on this first date. I met this girl through POF, she's really sweet, traditional. Fine with me, I like a Christian girl and am looking for a LTR which works out. Anyway, when we were texting that whole first week, it was going well. I just read something T-Mal said about texting her every day, up until the day of the date. I did that wrong by making the date with her Sunday, and hadn't talked to her until Tuesday. Even Tuesday's conversation was light and uneventful. Woops.

    So we meet downtown, we walk towards each other, my eyes locking to hers, making sure my posture is good, with a big ass smile on my face. I almost yell, "Hey V, how are you?!" hug and kiss her on the cheek. I open the doors, with my other hand on the small of her back, we got drinks and an app at this place we both never tried. I wanted to Kino but we were sitting across from each other. At least it was in a dimly lit corner of a half-empty restaurant so it was kind of intimate. She refused to try the food -- I could tell she was nervous. We leave, but on the way out into the Square, she says she doesn't go over a house on the first date. I joked about going to Starbucks now so that counts as a second date! Off we went...

    I held her hand crossing the street, she really liked it and we held hands to Starbucks and she closely walked next to me as if we linked arms that close. Then inside, it seemed that the conversation was fizzling after a short while. At first, she was twirling her hair in her hand a lot -- like crazy twirling, which to my knowledge is good. Awesome eye contact, pupils dilated. But after the first 15, that's when it started to fizzle. I was still nervous so I think that was affecting my ability to free-associate in the conversation. I know if we did it again, I'd be way more chill now that I got that out of my system. The kino was kind of dying off during the second venue at Starbucks, and even though my hand was on her knee for more than half of our coffee trip, she didn't seem AS INTO it, but still kind of into me. I think the issue was I was talking about 50%. I wanted her to talk more but I couldn't think of more questions or statements to make and her answers weren't very long. Kind of a shy, conservative girl like I mentioned.

    I think I really did well with comfort, somewhat decent with attraction, but hardly any seduction. At the end, I walked her to her car, hugged and kissed her on the cheek like I mentioned, asked her if she wanted to come over for the second time (I asked her an hour prior, after the bar but before coffee) and again she said not on the first date smiling and kind of laughing nervously. I went in for the kiss, and she turned her head laughing, "I don't kiss on the first date!" I then said something like "Oh, so traditional! Fine." Gave her a kiss on her cheek and then, "Where's my kiss?!" in a playful way and she kissed me twice on the same cheek. She's a sweet girl and totally conservative so I didn't push it. She then says, "Text me?" I tell her okay, and then she gets in. I start walking to my car down the street out of view. I felt like shit because I didn't KC, though she's conservative, and on the way back to my car it dawned on me. I forgot to arrange the second date!

    So here I am, same night, it's 11:15, the date ended around 7:30-8:00 (only a 2 hour long date. I could have extended the date but I didn't realize how short it was until I left) and she hasn't texted saying she had fun or anything. I'm taking that as a clue I probably blew it, but I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I mean she did say, "Text me?" in that kind of upward inflecting not-so-sure questioning tone. I have -- COUNT 'EM -- 4 questions for you guys!:

    1. What did I do wrong here besides what I already mentioned?
    2. I know I did really well with comfort, somewhat good with attraction, but seduction? I mean, if the girl is THAT conservative, did I do the best I could do in that department? I mean if she's going to hold to her principles, then I'll respect that. But I guess what I'm asking is, is it over? It felt weird trying to move beyond attraction because she was putting up walls when I tried to kiss her.
    3. If it's not over, do I text her tomorrow if she doesn't text me? And if I do, what do I say? "I had a really good time last night. Almost as good as you did! I'd love to see you again on X day, X time."? Sounds boring but I'm too tired to come up with anything fancy.
    4. On the second date, what should I focus on particularly based on what little of my personal game I've provided here? What does it sound like I need to work on besides calming down and just enjoying my time, especially when you have such a Christian girl on your hands? How do I escalate with a conservative girl whose family is from Latin America that actually holds to her principles? Takes time? I know a lot of guys would argue that a girl saying that is just testing and bullshitting me but I disagree. All opinions wanted and respected regardless of agreeableness of course.

    It's my first date in like, 3 months and I just moved to the city so I'm going out again this weekend and approaching random girls at bars and in the street. I was really nervous and I know it was having an effect on my ability to converse, and she probably noticed it in body language and whatever other signals I was giving off. Fending off oneitis as we speak by distracting myself. Plus I'm going to start opening girls online tomorrow as well as in person Friday night. THANK YOU GUYS. I can't wait to hear what you think!

  2. #2
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,365, Level: 52
    Level completed: 8%, Points required for next Level: 185
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    5000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    252
    Points
    6,365
    Level
    52
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    269

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Don't hold this over your head. I have done this in the past and shit, this lost me two hot ass girls in the process. In other words, enjoy the experience my friend. You did aight. Next time you don't sit across from one another but instead next to each other. Just do it, the girl might be like what the heck, but you keep that damn frame! It will work in your favor. Back to your date, you can still try to date this girl. She sounds like she needs to be seduced some more, and that is perfectly okay. Don't text anything needy like "i had such a great time with you last night. I'd love to see you again"

    only do that when you f closed the girl. Just keep things light and playful until then. Don't fall into her conservative frame, definitely respect it but don't follow it. I have f closed a virgin without knowing it once, I thought she was playing hard to get...so I would game as usual. I just got off a date with a chick who said the same things as "i don't kiss on the first date". K. I'll try again next time.


    One key thing I noticed is that if a girl doesn't want to come by your house you are lacking enough attraction and comfort. I have never encountered that objection unless I have failed in one of those areas mentioned. I wouldn't consider your comfort game smooth if you kept saying she was nervous at points of the conversation. Keep that awareness in mind.

  3. #3
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 145, Level: 2
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    31
    Points
    145
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Haha I wanted to sit next to her but we had to change plans and go somewhere down the street. I should've said bar instead of a table but oh well. It wasn't that kind of table. The reason why I thought her saying no to coming over wasn't such a bad thing because she said besides not kissing on the first date, she won't go over the guy's house either. Makes sense for that type of girl. But when I talk to her today, what should I open it with? I'll keep it light and I plan by the end of the convo to arrange the 2nd date. I'm wondering if I shouldn't invite her over for dinner and a movie because she may think I'm just trying to get it in, rather than get to know her. I was thinking maybe something fun like mini golf. The place is part farmer's market and they have ice cream. Kind of a fun place. I figure if we do that the second date, then I can invite her over for dinner on the 3rd and that way she'll be way less likely to object. I just don't know how to open her today. Any thoughts?

  4. #4
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 145, Level: 2
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    31
    Points
    145
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Well, I texted her around 5pm and said, "Hey V, it was fun getting to know you last night. And I have to admit... it was kind of funny watching you chug that full-caffeinated coffee! Lol" She wanted decaf and thought they didn't have it, but it was too late. So she basically knew she would be up all night. No response 4 hours later. I guess I got my answer, lol.

  5. #5
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,365, Level: 52
    Level completed: 8%, Points required for next Level: 185
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    5000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    252
    Points
    6,365
    Level
    52
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    269

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Don't well on the non response, this is all a waiting game, like a game of chess. That's how i always view it. If i lose, alright, on to the next one. If she delays seduction, well I will wait it out and come back with another plan. Easy Mindset when you have abundance, which is a topic for another time.

    I would omit the whole "it was fun getting to know you texts" and texts like "i hope you got home safe" until you slept with the girl. Just don't be that guy yet...time and place for that. Your second part of the text was alright. You can always reinitiate another time or tomorrow with something else you guys talked about. Girls who are uniterested in me still reply to my texts since they are original, so make it original ! I use these chicks as practice...

  6. #6
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 145, Level: 2
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    31
    Points
    145
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    You're saying I can re-initiate even if she didn't respond to me? Doesn't that come off as needy or creepy if I text her two days in a row without her responding? I would've assumed her non-response was a hint for me to stop texting her. I guess I can see why there's nothing to lose, especially if I say something kind of funny or playful. Even if she doesn't respond this time, at least I came off in the best way I could and then I'll know for sure she's not interested. I'm telling you though, this girl is first generation American and her parents are from Puerto Rico so they're really conservative, she's the first person in her family to go to college, etc. I almost second-guessed NOT saying "Text me when you get home" because she's THAT old-fashioned. I know what you're saying but I think something has to be said when calibrating for a girl like her. The conservative, rare, traditional wifey kind.

  7. #7
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,365, Level: 52
    Level completed: 8%, Points required for next Level: 185
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    5000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    252
    Points
    6,365
    Level
    52
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    269

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    I mean two days in a row isn't recommended. If she stills dubs you on the second day then yea give it a minute until you text her again. I was talking about weeks going by = perfectly fine to reinitiate again. If she is shy= early Kino and what not. If she is a true convervative girls, then yeah I recommend going at her pace AND going down your route. Try it out. You know her better than I do so you seem to be sure about her conservative way.

  8. #8
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 145, Level: 2
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    31
    Points
    145
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: |First Date Maybe Success| Text Her or Wait for Her?

    Alright thanks man. Last thing I would ask is, what do I say to her? A guy I know who is really good with women, but he's in his 40's says to wait 5-7 days, then simply text "What are your plans this week? We should get together again." or something similar to that. In comparison to literally everything I read, this would be a bad thing to text, but this guy gets amazing women, but I wonder if it's because that age range is more open to that kind of text or statement in a phone call. Thoughts?


Similar Threads

  1. Should I text her or wait for her? Am I over thinking this?
    By taylor.matthew in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 07-15-2013, 07:38 PM
  2. How long should I wait to text after the first date?
    By Philboss in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 07-15-2013, 07:31 PM
  3. Contact after date #1: How long do I wait?
    By seabee23 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 02-16-2013, 05:09 PM
  4. How long after a date do you wait to schedule another?
    By SexualSorcerer333 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 09-04-2012, 08:18 PM
  5. after a date how long should i wait
    By Royal_C in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 11-21-2011, 05:43 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com