Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
Oh dear. Well, it happens to the best of us ;D

I kinda see that she has friend zoned you so you better get your arse into that toastmasters and do some serious work on improving your inner game before you try anything else with her.

Take the friend card for now. Time will be good - build comfort. It's all progress man
Yeah, I wouldn't mind taking the friend card, but I'm even having a hard time doing that by building enough comfort to be friends. You see, I was at work today and I tried approaching her, but it went bad. I started off approaching her and saying "Are you almost out of here yet?" Yeah, I just froze up in the moment and didn't know what to say. Then, I asked her more boring questions like "Do you have to make something?" because she grabbed something from cooler for the grill line. I have this social tendency to ask questions more than make statements or funny jokes. Also worse is that she was walking around and I was following her trying to continue conversing. I even thought about it at the time that this probably looks needy but I felt discomfort and did it anyway. I also probably looked liked I was trying to brag and impress her when I told her I wasn't sure if I could go out Tuesday because I may have a band practice.

Man, I don't know what to do other than go to toastmasters and work on my confidence and social skills. I have deep inner game problems and, I even notice, I tend to obsess over negative thoughts and worry too much. For example, before she got to work (because I was there first), I was obsessing for an hour about what to say to her, and I could come up with nothing. It's like I don't trust my social skills enough to just think of nothing to say to her and hope it comes off naturally right when I approach her, which I also hesitated to do for a good 15-20 minutes. I also was comparing myself to other people at work talking to her and having fun and it caused me to feel worse about myself.

Now, we were supposed to be going out Tuesday to the zoo, but I'm pretty sure after this she doesn't want to go out with me anymore at all. She sees me as needy, socially awkward, insecure, and boring. I'm pretty much positive there isn't any attraction there. There's actually a feeling of awkwardness when we're around each other, but much more at work then outside of work. So, I don't know if I should tell her I'm on for Tuesday or not when I know she probably isn't looking forward to it.