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  • 1 Post By Hutch

Thread: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

  1. #1
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Cool Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    Hey guys, so I've been working on my online profile and game, and I think it's beginning to pay off. Not only have I been getting more positive responses when I open, and deeper conversations, but I just got opened by a hot blonde and this message is LONG. At this point, after reading it, I'm not sure if I should just go right for the number in my initial response, or maybe do something different. I'll post the opener here and I'd like you guys to tell me what you think after you read it:

    ------ Her Opener ------
    "So normally I just skim through profiles but for some reason I really read yours and I have to say it's really refreshing to read. From the work you're doing to your goals and passions mixed with some humor - you had me smiling by the end, so I figured I would say hello!

    I'm Christy, I'm also finishing my degree in marketing and big data analytics. I've lived in Boston for the past 3 years and I'm loving it so far. I'm working in marketing currently - I've been really fortunate to have some great jobs this far and as soon as I graduate I will most likely be working at an ad firm, which I'm really excited about!

    Like you, I enjoy spending time going on a fun new adventure or spending a lazy Sunday in watching a marathon of Netflix (wine can always be included!) I enjoy the little things - I'm definitely a glass half full kinda gal. I love to cook, try new foods and drinks, and well - I'm always up for a fun time!

    Let me know if you're interested in chatting - you seem like you know how to keep a conversation going - even by yourself in your bio

    Happy Monday,
    Christy"

    By chatting, I'm thinking she could be referring to okcupid or the phone. It just seems a little silly to attempt a typical online conversation (5-10 messages) before asking for her number, when she's basically reaching out to me like this. I've never dealt with this much interest online before, especially when I haven't even said a word to her yet. With this level of interest, should I skip the banter and getting comfort and just go for the number? Or something else? What would you do?

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    don't get too excited, it's just a theory - but there is a chance that this is a canned opener which she uses for other guys as well, I'd recommend you sticking to your guns and gaming her how you would with any other girl

  3. #3
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    A canned line eh? Possible but I think unlikely considering she's really pretty. Even still, just to keep the game plan clear, I should be moving towards a number within 5-10 messages correct? With such a flattering (if it's real) response, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I could make some cocky response like "Thanks I know" or something like that but in this case that sounds boring. What should I kick it off with?

  4. #4
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    I'm not a big fan of online dating and anything of that order yet I'm thinking about trying it out in a while, but I'd personally recommend you being C&F (you can adjust that cockiness to low or high depends mostly on whether or not she has her Bitch Shield on), keep it original, playful and intriguing, and about the whole when to ask for her number - depends on what's your motive. Are you trying to set up a date right now? or are you just going to text her for a couple of weeks? If it's option #1 try doing it when you're like 10+ messages in and when she has actually proved to you that there's something more to her than her looks (reward her for that), I believe she'll want you meet you more when she knows she's not being asked out just because she's pretty. But if it's scenario #2 I really don't think it matters that much, you can be messaging her on okcupid even for a month if you like and only ask her for her number when you're planning on setting up a date, or you can just put it into terms that you'd prefer texting her and use that as an excuse to get her number early on, if your intention is just to have conversations not in person for now, then it doesn't matter if it's done via text or via okcupid, if she gets bored or senses too much neediness from you she can ignore your texts or okcupid messages both just as easy, so try not to overthink about when to ask her for the number

  5. #5
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alergy View Post
    I'm not a big fan of online dating and anything of that order yet I'm thinking about trying it out in a while, but I'd personally recommend you being C&F (you can adjust that cockiness to low or high depends mostly on whether or not she has her Bitch Shield on), keep it original, playful and intriguing, and about the whole when to ask for her number - depends on what's your motive. Are you trying to set up a date right now? or are you just going to text her for a couple of weeks? If it's option #1 try doing it when you're like 10+ messages in and when she has actually proved to you that there's something more to her than her looks (reward her for that), I believe she'll want you meet you more when she knows she's not being asked out just because she's pretty. But if it's scenario #2 I really don't think it matters that much, you can be messaging her on okcupid even for a month if you like and only ask her for her number when you're planning on setting up a date, or you can just put it into terms that you'd prefer texting her and use that as an excuse to get her number early on, if your intention is just to have conversations not in person for now, then it doesn't matter if it's done via text or via okcupid, if she gets bored or senses too much neediness from you she can ignore your texts or okcupid messages both just as easy, so try not to overthink about when to ask her for the number
    Definitely option 1. And it's not a good place to focus all your game, but you get lucky with little effort sometimes. Plus it's fun just to try new lines on girls or spontaneously come up with one that really works, and then use that to interesting effect on everyone. Thanks for the advice -- it's definitely a sticking point of mine that I over think things -- not just game-related so I'll focus on screening her so I take a more skeptical or shall we say abundant perspective when first chatting with her. If this goes anywhere I'll update the thread, even if she's a fake profile lol.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    Update: This is what I sent her, annnnndd I received no response. She messaged me on the 28th and I responded to her on the 1st, so I waited 3 days to reply. Here's what I said:

    "Wuddup Katie I really liked your message. Extra points for actually reading my profile. Yours wasn't so bad either. It sounded like you have a good family and love adventure, which are really important to me ;-). Did you read the part about being good at giving back massages? I hope so because if not, then this isn't going to work ;-P"

    What do you think? Shitty response? Please don't be insulting but I'm definitely open to constructive criticism. I was trying to be playful and C&F but I want to know what you guys think about my message, what I should've said/done if anything different, and what to do now that she hasn't responded, as it's been over a day and a half and she's been on multiple times a day. I don't care about losing this one, I just want to know why so I can improve.

  7. #7
    NinjaPickup is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hutch View Post
    Update: This is what I sent her, annnnndd I received no response. She messaged me on the 28th and I responded to her on the 1st, so I waited 3 days to reply. Here's what I said:

    "Wuddup Katie I really liked your message. Extra points for actually reading my profile. Yours wasn't so bad either. It sounded like you have a good family and love adventure, which are really important to me ;-). Did you read the part about being good at giving back massages? I hope so because if not, then this isn't going to work ;-P"

    What do you think? Shitty response? Please don't be insulting but I'm definitely open to constructive criticism. I was trying to be playful and C&F but I want to know what you guys think about my message, what I should've said/done if anything different, and what to do now that she hasn't responded, as it's been over a day and a half and she's been on multiple times a day. I don't care about losing this one, I just want to know why so I can improve.
    Maybe this is simply a typo but...
    In the first post her name appears to be "Christy," then you called her "Katie" in your message?

    I could be because you simply got her name wrong. Or maybe you were trying to hide her name so you made it up in either one of these posts. Anyways, I'd wait and see what the other guys say about the actual message you sent.

    Cheers

  8. #8
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl sends ME a LONG opener on OkCupid. Now what?!

    I did in fact try to hide her real name. Oh well. I read what the other guys said, but since she didn't respond to me second response, I was asking for any tips as to what I did wrong, if anything, to not engage her in furthering the conversation since she opened me with that HUGE intro, only to ignore my response.


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