This is my POF profile. Anybody got any advice on how to improve it? Thanks.
Oh hi, I didn't see you come in. Take a seat over there whilst I lean nonchalantly against this mahogany bureau that's teeming with expensive brandy and tell you about myself.
I'm the sort of guy you take home to your mum and in turn gives you an approving nod once I've walked past. I sense this happening but I have the class not to mention it.
As I leave your house for the first time, after hours of demonstrating my respect and intelligent banter, your dad shakes my hand and calls me son. I find the eye contact quite intense but I have the strength of character not to look away.
Parents won round, I then take you out and get you smashed on jagerbombs and cheap house wine. I buy you a kebab on the way home with all the trimmings. Yes, cheesey chips too.
You know you enjoyed the night but you can't remember much of it.
You could have all this and more, you lucky girl.