Re: The dangers of too much attraction: An honest Sample message...
Well Mr. Assertive I wouldn't say you did particularly bad but I won't say you did particularly good either. I think you were very good at building attraction. It's just a classic fail. Happens to all of us. We cannot necessarily rely too heavily on a woman's responsiveness.
I think the characterization if any here, is you relied too heavily on your ability to engage the target (or woman). You also over-pursued (at least from my perspective)
Keep in mind the advice I am about to give you is very situational and coming from my own point of view. I believe I am speaking from an 'advanced' level.
Engaging a woman is about bringing her into your world (as PUA taught me) so I do practice that on the reg. It has been my groove of late (I'm obsessed with success) that woman pursue me.
So here your first flaw is asking for her number. Imagine for a moment (some situations like bars you have to ask) but I am speaking online thinking here that they pursued you. Again situational. But I have had 3 dates with 3 woman this year from online pursuits of mostly them pursuing me. 2 from Facebook and 1 from Tinder/Instagram.
So what is my practice of late? Them pursuing me. My new ex-gf asked me out on St Paddy's when I was posting on my facebook and she said she wanted to chill. No need to ask for her number but it blew up from there (as I talked about already).
Then the HB10 obviously from facebook to the Strip Club date I mentioned that also spiraled downhill who I over-pursued after date 1. So yes I am still struggling but here is what I do know.
My new girl/mistress from IG
Gave 100%, got 100% validation
Opened up, she opened up
Was not pursuing her (hit up a couple comments on IG and she inboxes me)
Didn't ask for her number I FOCUSED on the connection (I realize getting dates doesn't guarantee anything after getting ditched by some girl I was dating and now she is AWOL)
She gave me her number but I didn't ask for it
I gave her my number (as a fair exchange so she would know when I was texting her)
Waited 2 days and texted her (same mental state as before) this was after she already asked me out
So I texted her
"Looking forward to seeing you HB, can't wait! Got my outfit at the ready "
"Tell the truth!"
"Ok! I will! That's pretty easy for me to do."
"No I meant about the outfit. Lol. Hi Jack. So this next weekend will be super rad. Did you think of a place yet?"
"Breaking out some new threads blah blah"
That was a 2 hour convo by the way
Talked to her again today. So yeah I have had my own classic fails but what I am suggesting is BE YOURSELF. Be completely honest. Liking her or not. Being a jerk or not. Being real with yourself.
I promised myself one thing. That I would be real. I promised myself I would stop trying to impress them and impress myself. I would stop trying to pretend and just be 100%.
So I did and here is the outcome. Yeah my dates this year sucked but now after saying this to myself now I was completely okay with myself not endlessly trying to entertain she is into me. Not the conversation or event but me!
Do you know how empowering that is? Maybe a met a really good girl but think it was because my other girl was blowing me off and the terrible pain that brought me to that breaking point of giving my all.
I am willing to see this through to the bitter end. We are going out this saturday she told me just now
"So excited to hang w you."
She is the kinda of woman I need right now. Yeah I'll have to commit for a while. So be it. But I have earned it.
But it all came from being ditched and fed up trying to impress them. So I did whatever came to mind and she was impressed by default. The amazing thing is she is super excited to meet me...the real me not my best self or best version. But my painful version the one that was hurt.
When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.