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  • 1 Post By alphabeta

Thread: Hi / Hello....response?

  1. #1
    Cfalcs3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Hi / Hello....response?

    It irritates me how all these girls post on their profiles that all guys are the same and they will not respond if someone sends them a message just saying "hi" or "hello".

    Well guess what... I have over 20 inbox messages that was initiated by the girl and guess what all but maybe 1 say? That's right....hi/hello. Lol...ridiculous.

    Anyhow, I am looking for advice on the best way to respond to this message? Obviously they are already interested because they reached out to me and made first contact and initiated everything. So I am assuming they like they way I look and my profile already...therefore I just can't blow it/ fuck it up right?

    I think I panic because I feel pressure not to mess up. I haven't been able to close like I think I should considering they came to me. Not sure if I should try to quick close, immediately ask to meet up and get to know each other in person, or start from scratch as if I approached?

    Please help!!

    P.S. I am referring to 2 websites only (Tinder & POF)

  2. #2
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi / Hello....response?

    Hi Cfalcs3

    The reason they open with just 'Hi' or 'Hello'

    Is that they are wanting 'You' to start the Conversation, they want 'You' to make the first move, just as 'You' would very likely do if 'You' met a Girl in a Bar or Coffee Shop.

    This may seem annoying but if you think about it, I wouldn't say that they are being unreasonable.

    I think you would find it even more annoying if they sent you a message, where they appeared to be throwing themselves at you and virtually begging for 'You' to take them out, only to find they lost interest and then blew you out or flaked.

    Whether its done through a message or meeting face to face, more often than not they do expect the guy to do the 'spade work' to get the Party Started, so to speak.

    They've kicked things off by saying Hi or Hello or whatever and are waiting for you to chat them up on-line.

    So why don't you do just that, by saying you saw her profile and that She looked so hot, that you just could not help yourself from wanting to get in touch.

    A great big full on Complement almost never fails and I think you will find that her next response will be a bit more encouraging than 'Hi'

    Then after exchanging some messages, with a little flirtactious banter ask her out.

    Golden Rule No1. is to make her feel Safe, so keep any banter between you Fun and Lighthearted, because if She doesn't Trust you then She probably won't turn up.

    And suggest you meet in a public place for a Coffee, so you can chat and get to know each other.

    Where after a successful date where you seemed to like each other and appeared to be getting on well, the balance of power will gradually begin to shift over to you, where you make her wait a couple of days before you send the next text.

    Don't worry about Screwing up, as it seems you have plenty to choose from and probably a lot more on the way.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  3. #3
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi / Hello....response?

    No offence to @alphabeta, but I wouldn't do what he suggested.

    Simply for the reason that every guy on those platforms are gonna be doing something similar or exactly the same.

    Personally for me, it doesn't matter who starts the conversation first. Moreover, it's just a "hi". Takes less than 2 seconds of commitment to get that message across.

    My advice for you is to craft a custom message as if she hadn't said "hi" at all. That's what I do all the time as well. As for what kinda custom messages... I always innovate based on her photos/profile description. My "template" is basically me being witty or humourous. This will take some practice initially, but when you do it often enough, it will be easy.

    Here's an example of a lady messaging me first, and my response:



  4. #4
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi / Hello....response?

    That's great that you have women initiating conversations with you on those sites. It has rarely ever happened to me. Unfortunately, most of the time women have contacted me they have been scammers and spammers.

    Anyway, I would say something like "so, what about my profile made you contact me?" You could add something like "it wasn't just my boyish good looks was it?"

    In my opinion, you should pretty much never tell a woman she looks hot(either in person or online)unless maybe you have been dating her for a while(or sleeping with her). This has to do with the fact that you are giving her a free compliment when she hasn't given you one. Already she is winning the game. You want to keep the playing field as even as possible. But also looks are not a good thing to compliment a woman on. Plus she probably hears that all the time and you are not separating yourself from all the other dudes out there.

  5. #5
    LA.OC.Skater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hi / Hello....response?

    First off, BE NICE and POLITE. The simple act of messaging YOU is putting themselves on the line. You have noticed that THEY have contacted YOU. Now, get the significance of what they have done. By contacting YOU, they have put their ego on the line. You may NEVER respond to them. Say Hi back, AND THANK THEM for taking the time to say hello. This validates their action in contacting YOU. They will breathe a slight sigh of relief, and feel good about contacting you. They still don't know SQUAT about you, but they are feeling better about you already. From there, take the conversion wherever it needs to go based on their interests or yours.


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