OK, another go at this. It is like the Poison in the Water factor. Imagine you are with a girl. Things are going well. You are about to leave with her to go to her place. Then some dick comes along and tells the girl while you are standing there, hey, you know this guy has been accused of rape 5 times. This is not true, but now that idea is IN her head. He has just poisoned the water. She HAS to evaluate it. She will likely not leave with you at that point.
The point is, YOU do not want to be bringing up negative ideas, and getting her to think about them. If a woman says, how do I know you aren't some kind of creep. THEN you deal with it. You don't broach subjects like that yourself. Another negative in that, a minor negative, but a negative just the same is, it comes off as defensive and nervous. It is a sign of doubt, not confidence. How many times has James Bond said hey, it's OK. I am not a creep. Well, that is just fantasy. Well, yes. But also no. Confident men simply don't say that.
Something like that happened to me. I liked this woman in my class in college and we were going to work together on a project but then came along this weird guy who had it out for me. He told her I was homophobic and apparently she believed it and didn't want to work with me after that. I can't believe she was so gullible but at the same time if she was willing to listen to this douche and not me then she's not worth my time.
So there is certain behavior that women can get away with but not men? What if a woman says something like "oh I don't want to bug you" or whatever. Does that turn you off?
I have had two different women say something to me like "Well, I don't think you like me." Your right honey. If you are going to be that insecure then I won't want to date you. I am not sure why they think they get to speak for me. It's either some kind of test or they are just plain insecure and want a way out. It seems like a test to me though. If they really don't think I like them then why am I talking to them etc. So what is the best way to handle it when she says something like "I don't think you like me" or "I don't think you're interested?" For me that's a red flag for the most part but if I really do like her and she says that what is the best way to handle it?
The question falls into the stupid question category. Since you and I have not been trained in PUA in the exact same manner, I don't know what you know and vice versa. But one principle I have read, believe, and cling to is, when you get a stupid question, ignore it, or deflect it. Now, you might be VERY interested in this woman. But you have to think quick on your feet. Are you at a point where you can reasonably say you are very interested. Likely not. But she is showing vulnerability, and you have to be respectful of that. You have to throw her a bone if you want to continue with her. Something like, well, I don't know too much about you yet, but I am liking you so far. I'd really like to get to know you more. (when can we meet?) Of course if they phrase it, I don't think you like me, in those exact words, it just might be some 13 year old on a prank.
What is really key here is, she is in a weak position. You are in a power position. This is one of those moments where you have her EMOTIONAL STATE in the palm of your hands. Now, if you are an idiot and clueless, you trash her emotional state, and that is the end of that. If you are interested in ultimately getting some pussy, this is your golden opportunity to make her feel good. Women love a man who is strong, decisive, dominant, and can make her feel good. Good as in feeling safe, protected, loved and appreciated. Keep these factors in mind whenever you have questions like this in you mind, and you will start answering you OWN questions. Tell her something nice and she will light up like a christmas tree, and like YOU for it.
Or, put another way, this is a point when you need to give her positive reinforcement. (after she exhibits doubt as to whether you like her)
Or, I could just ask her "hmmm, why would you say that?" Then I would at least know the exact reason why she is having doubts.
This is a GREAT conversation, because you have just made me realize, I have evolved. I used to be just like you 3-4 weeks ago. A guy I was having a conversation with about 3 months ago, but was not a formal PUA, was telling me how he used to pick up women. Emotional manipulation. Compliments/attention, negs/Ignore. But he was a naturally manipulative guy. I could see it in him from the way he wrote. It was ingrained in him to compliment or agree with you before he would tear you down/disagree with you. But that conversation made me realize something. I was bad at paying attention to a womans emotional state. I mean, I always knew that, as I am a very logical person, but knowing he had done well with PU using JUST THAT sank in me head. So I put in a line in one of my hypnosis mp3's. "Pay attention to a womans emotions. Make her feel good when she is with you." I mean, if there were EVER a mantra to live by, make a woman feel good talking or being with you. THAT needs no explaining, right?
I am not going to write a book here about emotions. Google it. PUA emotions. I did find this regarding emotions and flirting that I will drop here.
Whenever you can get a woman's emotions involved, you're ahead of the game. Since flirting creates Tension and suspense and anticipation and fun, you might even think of flirting as an act of pure emotional provocation. Women tend to listen to their emotions and act based on how they feel, whereas men tend to consider their emotions as a part of an over-all equation which they will logically arrive at and make a decision based off of.
If you deal with women logically, you are dead. Period. Oh, and about me evolving. Yeah, I used to be just like you. And I realize that. How did I change??? I had to think about it. Then I remembered the blurb in my hypnosis. Luckily, that sank in. I now think about a womans emotions during my interactions, and my interactions have improved. I am no longer deaf and blind when it comes to a womans emotional state. You GOTTA do this Mike. Get out of Spock mode, and get into Kirk mode.
Thanks for the tips. Yes, I know I have a lot of work to do. Can you recommend any particular websites or youtube videos that discuss what you are talking about?
I guess one aspect of it all is to keep them guessing and never really let them know they got you. Don't always give them the reaction they want or expect. I actually have a lot of PUA knowledge. I just have difficulty implementing it and getting rid of old bad habits.
Well, I think if you are interacting with a woman face to face and you make her laugh and you are playful and you get her to say things like "stop" or "your such a dick" or she is playfully hitting you then you are probably doing your job and on the right direction(although of course even then there is still work to do). I've been there a few times but need to remember those things and do more of it. You have to be relaxed usually to be able to do that though otherwise you are in your own head and too nervous and thinking too much about it and being too logical(like you say).