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Thread: Tinder Conversation Critique wanted w/ conversations

  1. #1
    Caveman757 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Tinder Conversation Critique wanted w/ conversations

    Hey Guys looking for a critique of these tinder conversations I had that ended in the girl not responding-

    First girl is pretty average HB8 w/ a few tattoo pictures on her profile
    me- (her name)!
    HB-(my name)!
    me- hopefully you don't have any tattoos that are too crazy
    hb- noon just those 2 lol
    me- Those two are really cool what gave you the ideas for them?
    hb- My mom, grandma, and aunt are cancer survivors, so the one on my calf is for them, and the hummingbird is for another aunt that passed, we would sit and watch hummingbirds together every sunday after church
    me- Thats really cool! Whole lot better than "well you see it was that third Irish trashcan" (;
    hb-But my next one will be for me. lol I'm going to get "let it be" on the back of my neck (: do you have any?
    me- Ive got a butterfly on my ass but you can't tell anyone :P *this is a joke
    hb- I'll keep quiet (; hahaha
    me- How do I know I can trust you (;

    Next girl is a HB7 that had a top chef apron on in a picture
    me- (her name)!
    hb-(my name)!
    me- so you're a top chef :P
    hb- That I am. Have any fun facts about yourself?
    me- Actually I can play guitar with my tongue
    hb- I'm sure that means your good at other things with your tongue
    me- Absolutely I use it to talk everyday (;
    hb- as do I
    me- What are you good at with yours though? :P
    hb- articulation
    me- I already said that (;
    hb- you said talk. I specified
    me- Have any other fun facts about yourself I should be warned about? (;

    Last girl is an HB9 who messaged me first
    hb-hey
    me- hey there (;
    hb- how are you?
    me- pretty concerned actually
    hb- why??
    me- Girls that text first are always trouble :P
    hb- no way maybe other girls but not me
    me- we'll see (;
    hb- okay (:
    me- What do you do? *nothing to go off of in her profile
    hb-I'm going to college next month
    me- College is an insane amount of fun (;
    hb- ahah thats good to know
    me- Im sure you knew :P
    hb- okay you're right but only a little lol. its just nice to hear it from someone in college
    hb- you are in college right?
    me- Nah I live in a box and collect change (;
    hb- ha ha (;
    me- I'm actually a (university name) sophomore
    hb- Oh cool what are you going for?
    me- Biochemistry
    hb- oh nice
    me- What do you plan on going for?
    hb- oceanography
    me- haha I know who to call if my fish start to die (;
    hb- haha not me
    me- there are definitely fish in the ocean!
    hb- yeah
    hb- i know lol
    me- Im sure someee of oceanography has to do with fish :P
    hb- Yeah me too haha
    hb- Id hope so or else Idk what Id major in lol
    me- What else could you see yourself doing?
    hb- I don't know haha
    me- I could definitely see you as a dentist :P
    hb- no way
    me- Oh yeah definitely with your glasses on (;

    *All of the smileys were actually emojis

    I've been trying a lot of different styles of texting(tinder messaging included) and this has been my style I've been forming. I'm naturally a cocky funny person and this style of messaging has worked miracles on some girls but theres conversations like these that just don't seem to go very well- what can I do better/ where did I go wrong?

  2. #2
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder Conversation Critique wanted w/ conversations

    Before I go specific, here are some of the issues I noticed with your texting.

    1) You are not doing enough.

    There's a lack of positive momentum in your conversations. It's not bad per se, but it's nothing to shout about either.

    At best, it's just one notch above the boring and mundane stuff that most guys put out.

    This lack of positive momentum gives her nothing to go on with. The conversation could end any time either of you wanted, because there's no hook to keep her from wanting to invest more. A good way to describe your texting, would be "slow burning". The problem with that is... it's too slow.

    2) Lack of enough bait to keep things going.

    Relates to the above. But this goes beyond momentum. I noticed at various points in your conversations that you do not give the girl anything to work with. Instead, you seem to be relying on her to commit more to the interaction naturally.

    Ain't gonna happen. The fact that she's so ready to walk away also suggests to me that your pictures aren't doing enough of the heavy lifting for you.

    3) Too many winks.

    Cool it, big boy. You're over-doing it, and it's appearing very contrived, instead of achieving the effect you hope to get.

    I am going to insert my critique into your quotes directly, so look out for the bold sentences in there.


    Quote Originally Posted by Caveman757 View Post
    Hey Guys looking for a critique of these tinder conversations I had that ended in the girl not responding-

    First girl is pretty average HB8 w/ a few tattoo pictures on her profile
    me- (her name)!

    Quite a dull opener. At least make something interesting at the beginning to get a solid momentum fast.

    HB-(my name)!
    me- hopefully you don't have any tattoos that are too crazy
    hb- noon just those 2 lol

    Pretty darn sure a lot of men have asked about her tattoos already. I'd stay away from them as a conversation starter.

    me- Those two are really cool what gave you the ideas for them?
    hb- My mom, grandma, and aunt are cancer survivors, so the one on my calf is for them, and the hummingbird is for another aunt that passed, we would sit and watch hummingbirds together every sunday after church
    me- Thats really cool! Whole lot better than "well you see it was that third Irish trashcan" (;

    There was an opportunity here for you to relate to her, but you chose to go with "That's really cool!", effectively bypassing the possibility of getting her to open up.

    I would have said something like... "That's the really cool thing about tattoos... they serve as a personal reminder for what's important to us. Or an inspiration!"


    hb-But my next one will be for me. lol I'm going to get "let it be" on the back of my neck (: do you have any?
    me- Ive got a butterfly on my ass but you can't tell anyone :P *this is a joke

    Again, another opportunity. You chose to go with a joke though, a somewhat lame one too.

    I would have done something like... "'Let it be' huh? That sounds so zen. I suppose we'll end up meditating under a tree if we ever meet."

    By saying that, I effectively started planting seeds into her head about meeting up. Also, it's playful.

    (I get what you are doing with "butterfly on my ass", but it walks a thin fine line. It can come off as juvenile. And the image itself can be a turnoff with a more nit-picky audience.)

    hb- I'll keep quiet (; hahaha
    me- How do I know I can trust you (;

    A better response would be, "I like how you're looking out for me. I suppose it's only right I start feeding you copious amounts of food..."

    ... once again, effectively planting seeds into her head about meeting up.

    Next girl is a HB7 that had a top chef apron on in a picture
    me- (her name)!
    hb-(my name)!
    me- so you're a top chef :P
    hb- That I am. Have any fun facts about yourself?
    me- Actually I can play guitar with my tongue

    A sexual implication so soon? Given the amount of Tinder guys just blatantly asking to hook up, this might not be a good idea at all...

    hb- I'm sure that means your good at other things with your tongue
    me- Absolutely I use it to talk everyday (;
    hb- as do I
    me- What are you good at with yours though? :P
    hb- articulation
    me- I already said that (;
    hb- you said talk. I specified

    This bit here, is where the conversation died. You pushed your limits, and failed. The parts that I underlined... her interest died rapidly with that.

    Here's how I would have responded to her initial statement - "Depends on what we're talking about. Too early to go down that road though... I like to keep it clean for a start. Hah."

    1) It shows that you are different by not going down the sexual path so quickly.
    2) It shows good awareness and self control. Playful too, if she chose to interpret the "Hah" appropriately.


    me- Have any other fun facts about yourself I should be warned about? (;
    Last girl is an HB9 who messaged me first
    hb-hey
    me- hey there (;
    hb- how are you?
    me- pretty concerned actually
    hb- why??
    me- Girls that text first are always trouble :P

    Shouldn't tease. She bothered to message first, rewarding her would have been better.

    hb- no way maybe other girls but not me
    me- we'll see (;

    You're forcing commitment too early. Give her a bait, at the very least.

    hb- okay (:
    me- What do you do? *nothing to go off of in her profile

    The above led to this.hb-I'm going to college next month
    me- College is an insane amount of fun (;
    hb- ahah thats good to know
    me- Im sure you knew :P
    hb- okay you're right but only a little lol. its just nice to hear it from someone in college
    hb- you are in college right?
    me- Nah I live in a box and collect change (;
    hb- ha ha (;

    This is what I meant by slow burning. It's just a series of one liners from you. There's not enough momentum to go on, and it leads to bigger problems down the road, if you can't get her to commit right at the beginning.

    me- I'm actually a (university name) sophomore
    hb- Oh cool what are you going for?
    me- Biochemistry
    hb- oh nice
    me- What do you plan on going for?
    hb- oceanography
    me- haha I know who to call if my fish start to die (;

    A better response:

    "Oh nice. Does that mean you'll take me deep down into the ocean some day?"


    hb- haha not me
    me- there are definitely fish in the ocean!
    hb- yeah
    hb- i know lol
    me- Im sure someee of oceanography has to do with fish :P

    Lame responses from you, most particularly, the last one.

    And quit the ":P". You're not a girl.

    hb- Yeah me too haha
    hb- Id hope so or else Idk what Id major in lol
    me- What else could you see yourself doing?
    hb- I don't know haha
    me- I could definitely see you as a dentist :P
    hb- no way
    me- Oh yeah definitely with your glasses on (;

    As you can probably tell by now, her eventual silence is because of the lack of proper work done way before this bit here.

    This goes back to what I mentioned right at the beginning of my reply, when I said you didn't give them enough bait, as well as not enough positive momentum to give the conversation the opportunity to move towards "auto-pilot", in which the both of you end up chatting very naturally, as if you've known each other forever.


  3. #3
    Caveman757 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tinder Conversation Critique wanted w/ conversations

    Thanks for the reply- these forums are so helpful. A lot of this stuff makes so much sense when I read it after the fact, I just need to work on actively thinking of these things while I'm in the conversation.


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