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  1. #1
    dfreschl is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Dealing with "The Slow Texter"

    Went on one great date with a girl last week and we have a second one lined up in a couple days. Issue - she takes a long time (often 3+ hrs) to get back to me via text which is an issue for a few reasons:

    1. Text conversation stalls and we forego comfort/attraction building
    2. I try to mirror her text length which stalls things even more.
    3. I overthink and feel insecure

    Rather than guess at what I should do, perhaps you guys can offer some guidance and/or tips!

    Best,
    David

  2. #2
    Chopin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with "The Slow Texter"

    Quote Originally Posted by dfreschl View Post
    Went on one great date with a girl last week and we have a second one lined up in a couple days. Issue - she takes a long time (often 3+ hrs) to get back to me via text which is an issue for a few reasons:

    1. Text conversation stalls and we forego comfort/attraction building
    2. I try to mirror her text length which stalls things even more.
    3. I overthink and feel insecure

    Rather than guess at what I should do, perhaps you guys can offer some guidance and/or tips!

    Best,
    David
    Hi David,

    Not sure I have the experience to give relevant feedback but let me try.

    You have a way of texting women, women also have a way of texting men. Yours uses 3+hrs to reply, that's her way of texting. Now the question is what can you do with that.

    My recommendation is to dismiss the texting part and prepare the second live date. You said you had another one coming soon, you don't have to text her all the time.
    Don't think twice it's alright

    If you're in Paris, pm me

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Chopin For This Useful Post:

    dfreschl (08-02-2016)

  4. #3
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with "The Slow Texter"

    How great was the date? When is the next one?

    In my experience, slow texting means she's either the type who doesn't fancy texting, or she's just not as interested.

    If it's the former, I tend to just leave it alone, text a bit here and there (but making sure my texts are impactful).

    If it's the latter, time to up your game!

  5. #4
    dfreschl is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with "The Slow Texter"

    Thanks for the reply!

    Date was a 9/10.. Would have been a 10 if things had escalated more physically. Next date is tomorrow.

    Any examples of the impactful texts you can share? Shes going on vacation starting Saturday and I'm a little worried attraction will fade without contact.. Thoughts?

  6. #5
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with "The Slow Texter"

    If it's as great as you suggested, then escalating shouldn't be an issue. In which case, you should definitely do that as well, since she's going on vacation.

    Impactful texts are purposeful texts that accomplish an intent.

    For example, texts that relate to her (building comfort, rapport, whatever you wish to call it). Or texts that helps her relate to you (in this case, it would be your beliefs / core values; much faster than using interest-based commonalities). Or even texts that make her feel good about talking to you (getting her laughing, displaying your charismatic side, different aspects of your personality etc).

    Since she doesn't text as much -- again, we're assuming she's just the type not to text much -- then you wanna cut the Fluff / small talk, and aim for using as much of these impactful texts as possible.

    It's all right that she's going on vacation. In my opinion, that shouldn't change much. If you're exchanging 4-6 messages per day, that's actually good enough. Just be consistent. Keep the fun going (humour, witty banter), and you should be fine.


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