A couple of years ago I got introduced by PUA. I changed my outlook on life, generated a lot of attraction; guys wanted to be me and girls wanted me. A lot of crazy Sh1t happened and I enjoyed it so much.
But.. I was introduced by a girl, I liked her, she hated the PUA side of me and eventually I let the PUA stuff go. It went well over 5 years, but I became insecure about myself, gave up leadership, needed approval every freaking single time. Afraid that guys with natural PUA inside would take her away from me. You know the drill, I became a p*ssy.
She broke up with me 15 days ago and she told me she wants to be good friends. She would hate it if she would lose me in her life. The reason wasn't me (yes it was, I farked up her subconscious. She was always saying she didn't want a dominant man and liked it when I was insecure because she could relate to it but even though she said that, she is programmed differently, I shouldn’t have forget that. It’s not her fault. )
I am everything she ever wanted, but she just wants to have a new life, more space (we only saw each other 3 times a month for the last 6 years so the rest of our relationship was based on messenger) I know she broke up because I became a p*ssy and that our life together became too repetitive for her. I was just boring even though she states that that is far from the truth. She started sports (by doing this endorphins will kick in and let her feel good about herself and make her more sure about her decision to leave me) she’s trying new stuff out, took a haircut; all kinds of signs she just want to become a diverse person.
How do I get my ex back? Sure, the day she broke up with me I cried and begged, but soon after that I let her believe that I’ve accepted it, that it's ok and she needs to go on, that it was the best decision for us both. I picked myself of the ground and showed her I was ok and that I was moving on. We talked a couple of times, I crack her up every time. Smiling, giggling and what not, I even flirt and she is all ok with that.
When I cried my eyes out, she was very distant, but when I got myself together she began to open up more. She still wants to see me, she wants to keep all fond memories I gave her; cards, letters and stuff, she's still even wearing our ring that stands for 'always'. Also her avatar on msn is a picture I made of her playing my guitar at my place.
I made the first step. She thinks and feels I’m moving one now, but what do I do now? I don't know if the No contact rule applies here. I don't want to push her further away and block her on msn for the next couple of weeks because it surely looks like she wants me back and I will have to take steps quickly without being needy and such. 'You miss it most when it's gone'. I’m afraid she will get used to the fact that I’m gone when I block her on msn for the next couple of weeks.
She got a new shirt which she wanted to show me and ask my opinion about it. I didn't reply to the question and moved on to another subject, but later on she asked my approval again. Keeping stuff, still wearing our ring, asking for approval? Is it just me or does she want me back big time?
Let me know what you guys think.
I gave her too much love. She grows up in a home where not much love is showen. Her dad often yells a lot and her brother always annoys her day in and day out. My love for her and the future we both fantasized about was too much to take.