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  1. #1
    Nostradamus Guest

    Default Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    A couple of years ago I got introduced by PUA. I changed my outlook on life, generated a lot of attraction; guys wanted to be me and girls wanted me. A lot of crazy Sh1t happened and I enjoyed it so much.

    But.. I was introduced by a girl, I liked her, she hated the PUA side of me and eventually I let the PUA stuff go. It went well over 5 years, but I became insecure about myself, gave up leadership, needed approval every freaking single time. Afraid that guys with natural PUA inside would take her away from me. You know the drill, I became a p*ssy.

    She broke up with me 15 days ago and she told me she wants to be good friends. She would hate it if she would lose me in her life. The reason wasn't me (yes it was, I farked up her subconscious. She was always saying she didn't want a dominant man and liked it when I was insecure because she could relate to it but even though she said that, she is programmed differently, I shouldn’t have forget that. It’s not her fault. )

    I am everything she ever wanted, but she just wants to have a new life, more space (we only saw each other 3 times a month for the last 6 years so the rest of our relationship was based on messenger) I know she broke up because I became a p*ssy and that our life together became too repetitive for her. I was just boring even though she states that that is far from the truth. She started sports (by doing this endorphins will kick in and let her feel good about herself and make her more sure about her decision to leave me) she’s trying new stuff out, took a haircut; all kinds of signs she just want to become a diverse person.

    How do I get my ex back? Sure, the day she broke up with me I cried and begged, but soon after that I let her believe that I’ve accepted it, that it's ok and she needs to go on, that it was the best decision for us both. I picked myself of the ground and showed her I was ok and that I was moving on. We talked a couple of times, I crack her up every time. Smiling, giggling and what not, I even flirt and she is all ok with that.

    When I cried my eyes out, she was very distant, but when I got myself together she began to open up more. She still wants to see me, she wants to keep all fond memories I gave her; cards, letters and stuff, she's still even wearing our ring that stands for 'always'. Also her avatar on msn is a picture I made of her playing my guitar at my place.

    I made the first step. She thinks and feels I’m moving one now, but what do I do now? I don't know if the No contact rule applies here. I don't want to push her further away and block her on msn for the next couple of weeks because it surely looks like she wants me back and I will have to take steps quickly without being needy and such. 'You miss it most when it's gone'. I’m afraid she will get used to the fact that I’m gone when I block her on msn for the next couple of weeks.

    She got a new shirt which she wanted to show me and ask my opinion about it. I didn't reply to the question and moved on to another subject, but later on she asked my approval again. Keeping stuff, still wearing our ring, asking for approval? Is it just me or does she want me back big time?

    Let me know what you guys think.



    I gave her too much love. She grows up in a home where not much love is showen. Her dad often yells a lot and her brother always annoys her day in and day out. My love for her and the future we both fantasized about was too much to take.
    Last edited by Nostradamus; 05-22-2010 at 07:13 AM.

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    Your ONLY chance of saving this is do exactly what I say below:

    1. Agree with her that breaking up is the right thing to do, then cut off contact.
    2. Date other women, get a life, play sports, truly move on emotionally and physically.
    3. Re-become the man you were when you were more dominant, in control and the guy women wanted (and guys wanted to be).
    4. Never CHANGE to a wussy for a girl ever again, this was a HUGE lesson for you.

    If you do ALL 4 steps (and you know what I mean, don't just 'act' like you are doing them to get her back)... then there is a chance she will come back to you.

    If you don't do ALL of those steps with a real purpose to do the steps (again not just going through the motions to get her back), then you have no chance with her.

    Good luck.


    ^ Tough love baby.

  3. #3
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    Yeah bill is completely correct. You have to cut contact with her. She will start thinking about you more, and we know ur going to lie and maybe talk once or twice. IF you do make it short and dont fulfill anything she is asking you for. Is she wants to talk more, if she wants to hang out. DONT fulfill her needs cause then its like she has u whipped again. Then improve yourself and get a life full of fun and friends and all the things you used to have. It will show her that she is missing out of a life with you. Then you need to get your PUA (real alpha male) man side back. You have to be a leader of men that all the women want. And then like bill said. Dont become an AFC. If she didnt like your PUA side then why did she date you? she was lying, her concious mind didnt like the thought of it and wanted you to be different but her body and subconcious mind love the feeling of having an alpha male. So do what bill says and you have the best chance at getting her back

  4. #4
    Nostradamus Guest

    Default Re: Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    I have to confess, I had a little conversation with her.

    Some quotes:

    She: You're my nr 1 guy

    She: We can hook up to take care of the stuff I still have from you like your tie
    Me: Sure, we can have a drink for an hour,
    get my stuff and just leave it with that.
    She: I wouldn't mind 2 hours, maybe we can have lunch together?

    I will just listen to you guys. I just need to be counter-intuitive. I need to grow some balls and get my good old life together. Taking back control.

  5. #5
    Salaami Guest

    Default Re: Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    As soon as you read this you need to get out of your house asap, go somewhere you can get a chick (or three or four or five) and approach as much as you can, the stuff you had 5 years ago will rush back to you faster then you think.

    Don't think about getting her back, don't think about her, live your life in the present.

    Do Bill's steps, whatever happens happens.

    Good luck.

  6. #6
    Nostradamus Guest

    Default Re: Best approach ex: No-contact v.s. contact

    So I told her she was right to break it up with me and that it was the best think we could do and just move on. I told her to be friends and that I supported her, but I think i'm reconsidering that (I'll have to have contact with her if I want to tell her so, so maybe I should just forget about that and don't contact her like i'm doing the last couple of days.)

    I bought me some dumbbells and a jumping rope for some cardio and stuff to keep fit. I also try to jog for 1 hour a day. I'm also re-reading Mysteries Venusian arts, some style and deangelo's stuff to keep some motivation going.

    I even tested out the field. I sucked big time. Also had the change to kiss a girl...but.. I couldn't do it cus' I was feeling like I was cheating on my ex.. Lol

    Oh well, i'll keep you posted.

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