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  1. #1
    JimmyDean Guest

    Default Post break up need advice to get her back

    This is a pathetic way to start my career as a PUA, but I've got to take a shot at being a nice guy before making the transformation, right?

    Dated a girl 2 yrs through college, she loved me way more than I ever showed her. I always had lots of friends around and I'd run, she'd follow. I was semi high status, a bartender and such. I graduated, moved in with parents, started trying out crappy jobs, and talked about all of it. She stayed at school. I'm very self-deprecating so I obviously was lowering my value, but felt ok with it because I know I'm better than current situation and it's only temporary.

    Anyway I got drunk one night, said mean things, (was mostly just angry at myself,) and she broke up. Had always said she'd never break up with me (I know, I know). I didn't take it seriously because we've fought before but then she went out and hooked up with a co-worker. Told me the next day, I acted completely wrong; was pissed at first and she apologized profusely and truly felt bad, but then I went soft and visited to try to 'make it work' (cause I've cheated on her and know it really doesn't matter and I know she prob did it to make herself feel worthy again after the Sh1t I'd said). Every time I keep trying she keeps pulling away. She's now got a super solid support system of close friends and a job she loves, so I'm fairly unnecessary. Also a new best friend who is a pretty little skank, so not the best influence. There's a notable difference when talking and the friend is around, very much drawing strength to keep me away from their friendship. Living in a college town she could be occupied with friends all day and get sex/sexual attention from guys any night of the week. I've been pushing too hard for over 3 weeks now, then I pulled back for just a day and she called drunk, I missed it, then she called the next night to have phone sex. Has been saying all along she just wants to be friends now, it was just a one time thing, doesn't want to lead me on.

    Then called yesterday saying she missed me, I stupidly affirmed that I did as well. Had a good convo, kept it light, said I have to go call me tonight. She didn't and I became overbearing again by calling twice, she called later asleep, had been allegedly asleep the whole time. So now the pendulum has swung back to the dark side. I keep being more and more desperate, long texts and other stupid stuff but she really was a faithful girl, a chill and fun one I'd like to get back with for the long term. I know the kindness/desperation is doing me no favors but I was the asshole while with her, should't I cut her a break?

    Got a job interview near her neck of the woods, should I visit her as well? Or just visit my own friends to be in the area but ignore? Got a birthday coming up too, do I give something super nice to show I care? Or just a token happy birthday to show I know it's there but won't go out of my way to help celebrate? Or total Freeze Out?

    I know I'm being stupid, just need to hear the wisdom of your words.

    PS she's all about teasing. When we were together would always bend over seductively when we'd fight but then act like it was nothing. Anytime I'd want it she'd pull away. She always had to be the one to initiate. Loved talking about other guys who were 'obsessed with her' when their behavior really wasn't THAT out of ordinary. Loves attention but really isn't pretty enough to get it all the time so I rationalize that giving it kind of affirms her need to be loved.

    PPS if this doesn't work out, I plan on becoming a student and learn to become a true PUA star. My game was ok before her but completely un-self-aware of what I was doing/why it worked. Got lots of numbers but would rarely close...then allowed myself to be whipped. With some help, I think this life could be fun too.

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Post break up need advice to get her back

    ok my boy i didnt need to read all of this but its still a shame you broke up withy our lady,
    but in general when you break up with an ex, you shoudlnt get back with her. its often just the weirdest of feelings liek guilt regret remorse maybe even stupidity that make you want tog et back wit them
    and your on a PUA site? you are armed with the knowledge of a thousands of the greatest lady's men in the world. dont wo rry abotu becoming single
    Ross Jefferies said that if ever you feel rejected or get rejected say 2 magical words iny our head
    "her loss"
    becasue it is surely! if it isnt..then mayeb you sohuldnt have been together in the fisrt place huh? be happy with what you had and move on. later on you'll be fine, maybe you'll get back she'll feel slow but if you persue her and creep her out you'll only drive her away more and solidify those reasons she didnt want to be withy ou.
    saying the thigns you said shows lack of trust. and thats hard to get back especialy to a girl, so just accept you did a bad thing and dont let it effect.

    and as for your pps, dont think anything of your game based on the numbers you get. the game isnt abotu who or how many girls you pull
    but the effiecentcy and ability you do it. the greatest of engenieers arnt that becasue they can change 1000 circets in an hour or 10000 circets this week
    but becasue they can do it to a degree no one will doubt their ability. i'll be more then happy to help you with any issues you have though im surely not the best here and starting anew myself but i learn quick and i learn alot. and iwill give anyone the time of day that needs it
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  3. #3
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Post break up need advice to get her back

    Have you seen my The Get Her Back Formula?

    Bill

  4. #4
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Post break up need advice to get her back

    If this is what you see in Pick Up, you do not understand Pick Up, nor its community.

  5. #5
    geralynB is offline Banned
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    Cool Re: Post break up need advice to get her back

    It will depend on you both. If you still love each other, then, it would be easy to win her back. Just be yourself, show your sincerity and date her again.


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