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  1. #1
    temp109 Guest

    Default I lost her at "hello"

    Alright, so I have had hit a snag in my online game recently, the result of a few stumbling blocks, and it has set me back a bit.

    The beauty of this is that it has forced me to go back to the drawing board - what I was doing was clearly not quite good enough. I realized I need to start to leverage in-person game, learn more routines and get a better foundation. I'm reading Intro to NLP now as one example...I've also signed up to this board One step back, two steps forward.

    So did hit some stumbling blocks, but one of them is salvagable. I met a girl online (dating site) who seems attractive, funny and intelligent. I started an exchange of messages with some humour and got her phone number. My next step was to jot a few conversation points up and of course, call her up.

    The call was less than perfect. I caught her while she was with friends catching a taxi cab to go out. I knew instinctively that I should tell her that we'll talk another time, but I wanted to hone in on setting up a date, so I worked my way through not a bad conversation under the circumstances. Then I let her end the call (big no no), and we said we would meet on Monday, talk first on Sunday.

    Sunday I call, she texts and she's tired after a long drive and that we should talk on Monday (already not a great sign of attraction). Monday I assume our date is off and call her around 9:30 pm, no answer. Tuesday call again, no answer. Thursday call, no answer. Next Sunday text her, she's responds that's she's camping. She said she was waiting for my call on Monday and went out when I didn't - so maybe she feels like I stood her up.

    So I pull out my last salvo and neg her in a text - I say I'm giving her the "worst dater award". She responds that she's sorry, she lost her job. I text back that I understand (rapport) and give her a helpful job-hunting link.

    No contact since then, and in the meantime I noticed she's online on the dating site, when she hasn't even taken the opportunity to meet me.

    So to make a long story short, I know my game wasn't perfect here. Somehow during the phone call (usually something I own), her attraction level for me decreased. I think maybe I came across as a 'nice guy'?

    All I want is another shot...unfortunately , I've lost confidence in my online game, I have no texting game and I don't think she'll answer the phone if I call. All this is bizarre from my perspective because we could be a great match.

    I think probably the best thing I could do is text her and say I'm going to (insert fun event) and she should come if she wants. Unfortunately I can't think of anything like that and I don't know what to do.

    Any thoughts would be much appreciated

  2. #2
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I lost her at "hello"

    i might freeze her out for a little bit then yes come back with a re-engaging text about a fun event. tell her she should come and bring buckets full of fun or something. tell her that you know a lot of the bartenders and blah blah blah. try to get social proof to get her to come out for fun then work your game. the overall goal right now is freeze her out and try to invite to something you are doing. you want it to be less pushy so have it be a social gathering not a date!
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  3. #3
    El_Draque is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I lost her at "hello"

    Is it just me, or after you got her number and had to involve yourself in real social interaction did you just completely fuck up every time?! Beta and lacked confidence all the way through? Someone correct me if im wrong but i think im actually getting the hang of some stuff.

    How about when u rang her and she says shes busy, surely you could have taken control and been like 'oh thats cool look we'll talk later then, just give me a call or text and tell me when youre free!' obviously with a very short amount of playful banter as well.

    Then on the sunday u let her control the text flow without punishing her dominance...then you dont even call her on the monday? Then you call her like 3 times without her responding, yeaaa uve well lost ur dominance and playfulness u had in ur online convos by then! You are her bitch!

    Just like dont even talk to her for 2 weeks, then yea crobs advice. crob shud he be like, 'hey you still owe me a date! im up for going somewhere fun and i thought ud be the right girl for that...?' i dunno im just making it up as i write tho lol.

  4. #4
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I lost her at "hello"

    not bad el draque. i didnt think of that but instead of her taking ur frame u started adopting her frame and letting her lead the interaction. a girl doesnt want to take the lead, they want to be led. so by losing ur alpha male status and giving up ur frame her attraction died. but yeah try Freezing Her Out and put something like
    " hey there biscuit buns! Some of my friends and I are cruising to a party around 7:24- you should totally join us since you still owe me a hangout!- ur not opposed to having a ridiculously awesome time are you?! "

    thats good cause its alpha, its shows social value, you start to gain ur fram back and then uses some text techniques to get her to respond and come along!
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  5. #5
    Salaami Guest

    Default Re: I lost her at "hello"

    Biscuit buns? Really crob?

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I lost her at "hello"

    lol its a great nickname. its silly and stupid
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest


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