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  1. #1
    timez Guest

    Default Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    Hi,
    I have posted in this forum about this girl on many occasions because of my trust issues with her - my gut was constantlly calling out alarms on a daily basis.
    i have been trying to get past them but they never went away - i just learned to live with them because many ppl have said ur prob wrong etc and i thought so too cos she used to be so nice to me and i thought im gonna screw this up over nothing.
    anyway turns out they wernt wrong at all...
    some background...
    we was together a year and one month until earlier tonight i dumped her.
    (this is gonna be a VERY long post btw so be warned lol)


    my trust issues came from this...
    1) very early on in the relationship a guy added me and told me she had been saying she wud fuck him even tho she had a bf - and showed me the log - i had no idea if this was before or after we got together so i left it - but it did set up doubt from this point forwards - looking back i shud have backed out here or the next thing but i didnt)
    2) about 3 months into our relationship cos of my lack of trust and my gut feeling i snooped on her emails and found out she had sent her ex bf a very bad pic of her cleavege - and lied about it until i showed her the proof i had (yeah i shudnt have snooped but i just knew something was up and i had to know one way or the other - i wanted her to be innocent but she wasnt)
    she was full of sorrys and promised never to make such a mistake again (because she wudnt risk her relationship)
    she cut contact with him for a long time after this and all was well...
    but they started getting in contact again recientlly and so it all flared up again - although i didnt tell her - i said i was ok with it and i was to a certain extent cos he did seem different
    but then the gut feeling came back and i sensed something wasnt right - esp since she has another ex who i never had a problem with but i got a bit worred because the day he split with his gf she went really distant with me and it was just mad timing...
    so i snooped again - and this time i couldnt beleve what i was seeing...
    im gonna show you in a minute - but before i do some things she has said....
    1) that they really are just friends and he wud never try anything with her
    2) she just doesnt see him that way any more.
    this is not the case as you will now see - my comments will be in (brakets)...
    (she has also been telling me her distance was due to tiredness and i had started to beleve that)
    also when me and him are on msn at the same time - she will say 2 words to me then go chat to him for ages - i thought ok cool if hes just a friend thats what friends do sometimes u just chat about everything)
    ok here is the main parts of the logs - this is just from about a week... and all i have...
    she is clearly not over this guy and likes him at the expense of what we (had) she told me she just wants her best friend back and i understood that - stupid lol cos she told me herself she keeps asking to see him...
    this is in chronoligacal order but i have left any 'normal chat' out
    it gets worse as it goes on...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    LOG FROM: 13th oct 2010 - 17th oct 2010

    HER: week off next week
    (why the wink?)
    HIM: Im tired
    HER: aww
    hehe bedtime?
    :P
    remember? (remember our bedtimes?)
    HIM: night then
    HER: oh your going? (she never puts sad face when i go anymore and she used to all the time)
    HIM: yeah tired hun
    HER: oh ok
    night then i spose x
    HIM: back and forth
    to and fro
    HER: erm
    naughty
    HIM: gosh
    yes
    very
    HER: bit of willy jazz
    hahahaaa
    HER: u still sexin her?
    HIM: yeah of course
    they're good to bury face into
    HIM: or you know... shagging
    HER: yeh i dont rele wanna kno ta
    bloimey
    tmi! (why ask then it obv made her jealous)
    HIM: but they're not all that
    HER: i prefer mine personally (draws attention to her boobs)
    ------ she changes her name here to: p.s i'm still not over u lalala lala (with music notes around it)--------
    HER: ur silly
    my tongue hurts
    HIM: why?
    you got it peirced?
    HER: YEH
    ages ago
    HIM: so ya know...
    does it?
    HER: so ya kno wat
    yeh
    HIM: yeah what?
    HER: u kno
    HIM: i wouldn't know
    u will have to demonstrate
    HER: yeh (BITCH! lol)
    HIM: ?
    you're still not over me? oh no
    HER: its not about you
    HIM: ''ooh it's just a song i like''
    HER: i just rele like the song
    HER: not EVERYTHINGS about u lol
    :P
    HIM: but that is
    we'll never be over each other
    HER: excuse me?
    HIM: you heard
    HER: haa u make us sound like ross and rachel
    HIM: yeah similar
    HER: gay face (in a friendly way - she also has this same pet name for me)
    HIM: we should be ya know... FBs
    HER: no lol
    HIM: *pokes willy in bum*
    :O
    hahaha
    HER: ruuude
    ***changes her name to: coz when im with him i'm thinkin of you, thinkin of you, what you would do if you were the one spendin the night (with music notes) not even half an hr later ***
    HER: (with music notes) u spin my head right round wen u goo down
    HIM: hehe u thinking of me when you're with him
    HER: not everything applies to u
    HIM: it clearly does
    HER: how did u work tht one out?
    HIM: obvious
    HER: wats it to u neways (pissed off cos she knows he dont want her really)
    *** has changed his/her status to Appear Offline *** (think i was talking to her at the time and she said she has to go)
    **** he sends a pic of himself here without being asked ****
    HER: i miss henry huggles (cuddles) (wow!)
    ***************this is where it gets bad*****************
    HER: im so tiired
    HIM: well you get some sleep then baby
    HER: i wont sleep yet tho
    my minds still live and kickin
    HIM: what you think about baby?
    HER: you
    HIM: what bit?
    HER: all the bits
    HIM: well don't
    we're just mates now (he had to tell her?! how bad is that)
    HER: haha :P
    annd ur a lesbian
    HIM: bed time
    HER: okies
    HIM: hehe you mean if i was spending the night (about her name)
    HER: and? (means and what else?)
    HIM: hehe
    HER: *sigh* (cos he didnt say and sex - or cos he cant be there)
    HIM: often its about me
    HER: not often
    HIM: u put butter on your boobs, i lick it off
    HER: :O henry!
    HIM: hehe
    HER: shocking
    HIM: naughty
    HER: massive willy
    HIM: huge
    9 inches
    HER: henry!
    goodness
    its as big as a wind turbine
    HIM: yea
    HER:
    good stuff
    HER: hahaahaha he likes it on all fours
    HIM: rude
    HER: its good
    do you remember the last time?
    ----- some normal crap... ---------
    HER: so when you coming to see me?
    HIM: Prob when i get my new bike
    HER: you have like a 100 bikes haha
    HIM: their not suitable - i havnt got a big bike atm
    HER: for your sizable willy?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    so yeah as u can see i am NOT happy
    i woudld never have talked to any girl like this while i was with her - esp an ex - and esp since she saw how much it nearly destroyed me last time
    anyway tho soon as i read this all feelings for her instantlly vanished into thin air - all i have now is anger and disbelif
    i do have some questions tho....
    I txt her straight after saying "its over"
    then again saying these...
    (these are prob a bit AFC but i wasnt thinking right)
    "and henry's dead" (the guy lol)
    "after everything ive done for you how could you"
    then i tried to call her for ages and ages im not sure if she was just aslep and cudnt hear it or just wasnt answering anyway i then txt...
    "im not gonna shout at you i just wanna talk"
    then LOADS more of call trying - no way is she not hearing it now she obv just aint answering
    "answer the phone"

    i wasnt calling to get back with her tho - i just wanted an explaination
    i still do really...
    must have tried calling her literlly 50 times and then just stoped and aint txt or called since (its only the same day tho)
    basiclly i wanna know what u think - im justified dumping her right? lol
    also i still want this explaination - i was gonna just go turn up at her house tommorow armed with my proof and make her face me for what she has done - i think she is getting off way too lightly otherwise
    also i owe her mum money and her mum gave me a free brand new bike today - her mum has been nothing but nice to me so i still wanna pay her back - after all it aint her who has done anything wrong
    i was gonna go there monday if i dont turn up tommorow to go give her mum the money and 100% blank my ex even if she tries to talk to me.
    this might all seem petty but she hasnt just done wrong but REALLY wrong esp to make me tortue myself all this time thinking it was all in my head - and nearly left me many times cos i "accused her when she wasnt doing anything" - she doesnt deserve to just get away with it
    so what do you all think of it all and what i wanna do about it? i am not even considering getting back with her - she had a chance after before and blew it big time - and i could never trust her again now.
    she is gonna try all sorts of excuses like it was just in a joking way etc etc - but if that was the case why lie? and it dont seem very joky to me - its clear she wants him

    lol sorry this was a book but there was a lot to say
    thank you if you have got this far and let me know - thanks for replying - oh and btw im not even hurting (yet) just got so much anger in me - but id never do anything physical to anyone - even tho i know i said he's dead.
    thank you again
    Timez

  2. #2
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    Geez dude that was a book.

    What are your trying to ask or are you just venting?

  3. #3
    jabu Guest

    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    You need tough love man.. get rid of her asap!! She is no good for you... you need to leave her and give yourself time to get over her at least. You sound exactly like me when I split with my ex after finding out on her facebook she was planning on meeting another guy. You had every right to check because of your gut instincts and history with the girl and that other dude.. it's probably the best thing you could have done. (though not recommended all the time lol)

    The bike and money etc, go over unexpected and give the money and bike back to her mum when you can. Don't let off steam to the mum, just say you can't stay, things havn't worked out between you and your gf, so you need to give the stuff back and go do something, whatever that may be.. say thanks to her mum and go on your way. If the girl is there and asks to talk or anything, say you have plans and can't stay, then just walk away!

    Now, this girl.. breaking all contact is what I would do. She has fuc*ed with your head, I can tell just from reading this cus you can't seem to put your point across properly and doubt yourself a lot. I'm not having a dig mate, just saying it as I see it, and it's bugs me to see this happening to you. Just get her out of your life and start moving on. She's treating you like shit man, you're being totally AFC and accepting her shit. Once she see's that you have no problem leaving her in your dust she'll feel it for sure. But whatever you do, DON'T give in to her begging you back or anything if she does. Text her saying she had her chances, it's over, and she should move on (telling her to she needs to move on puts you on the right frame of being the person who isn't chasing). Don't pick up her calls or reply to texts/facebook messages etc, and focus on yourself.

    I'm sure you're hurting from this as it sounds like you were really into this girl, but yes you are totally justified in dumping her.. grab yourself by the balls, be a man, tell her it's over, and get out to have fun for YOU! I can tell she has messed with your head, and it's a bummer as I've been there (as have many, many other guys).. don't dwell, learn from this and make yourself a better man because of it!

    I know this is all bit stern sounding, but I'm being straight cus I don't want you to let this affect you in a negative way. It was after a very simliar situation I got into pick-up... get into it too, and it will help you make sure this stuff is much less likely to happen, and make you better at dealing with it!

  4. #4
    timez Guest

    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    i only wanna go over as punishment to her - she has to face upto it - and it will make me feel better - and thats all i care about - i dont care for her excuses anymore lol

    and yeah thats it now - i gave her chance after chance - and to top it all - she made me beleve i was the bad one all the time - and really she was - talk about passing the buck.

    anyway its over for good now - i could never trust her again and i feel nothing for her anymore - she killed that when she did what she did

    Timez

  5. #5
    jabu Guest

    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    She doesn't HAVE to do anything man, that's the thing.. if she wants to she can say you're to blame and it's not her fault.. it doesn't matter. You know what the score is for yourself and that's what matters. I know you're angry about this but don't let it affect your behaviour, at the end of the day going to her house for 'punishment' is just your way of getting her attention, and it's negative (for you!) to do that. If you do go over, have the Mindset that it is only to give the money and bike back. If you want to punish her, ignore her and let her see that you are too good for her and you don't need her.. I assure you that's the best way!

    And I know, always with the guilt trips making you feel bad them controlling ones. Well you know better now, you're out of something that was dragging you down and melting your brain.. lesson learnt! lol

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    well its obviously cause he was making her chase him and maybe the 9 inch cock helped him out hahaha just playing bro. thats sucks.
    I live in my reality and youíre a guest

  7. #7
    El_Draque is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    ditch that bitch! best advice i ever got off here

    best advice from any film:
    Tame the pussy, respect the cock

  8. #8
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    Move on. I guarantee if you go over there all you are going to do is end up crying to her asking her why and telling her how much you were hurt. Reality is that this wont punish her it will just make you look weak. Sorry for the tough love here dude but im speaking from experience. MOVE ON! Just let it go. If you really want to punish her, go fark her best friend or something, but not that weak a$$ $hit like going talk to her.

  9. #9
    El_Draque is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    Tcome is completely right, the WORST thing you can do is go talk/reason with her. I tried it over the summer and you end up gettin upset and looking like a tool (i posted on here about it too). Trust us, best thing you can do is just shut the bitch out, i know your not going to but try your fuckin hardest mate!

  10. #10
    yesman Guest

    Default Re: Caught my gf online cheating with her ex

    shut her out!!!! fuck that cheating immoral bitch you will NEVER EVER be able to trust her. EVER


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