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  1. #1
    jabu Guest

    Default New gf,,. is another guy a potential problem??

    Hi all, need your opinions on a pretty important matter with my gf please.. here's the story...

    Last night we were chatting and she started talking about this guy that moved into her student accomodation recently (her 25, him 30). Her and the other female flatmate didn't want a guy living with them, but somehow he ended up in the flat. They didn't give him much of a chance, but my gf got talkin to him during the week whilst living up at her place and was telling me about him. We were in my bed talking and were pretty cuddled up, but when she started talking about him she turned away slightly, kept looking upwards to the ceiling (as we were lting down) away from eye contact, and was playing with her hair a lot. We got off the subject of him after a while and she returned to facing me more etc. I got bad vibes, so thought I'd test the water on the subject and check her reactions to him being brought up. So, got her to do them light tickles on my back whilst I lay on my stomach and brought him up by asking, ''so, what to think of that guy in your flat now you know him a bit more?'' ... she started paused very slightly, looking away, tickles slowed down a bit etc.. she said stuff like ''awk he's dead on'' etc. And, she didn't play with her own hair, but started curling mine instead of keeping with the tickles when talking about him. Then I made sure to get off the subject quickly and moved on... he wasn't brought up for the rest of last night or this morning.

    Before this, she would say about how he was a small man, and was ripping on him for leaving soap in the shower etc.. and now suddenly he's all dead on, cleaning the place, being considerate etc. He was in a huge 'life changing' car crash, he does marine biology and has aspirations to hit up australia etc etc... this guy got in plenty of attractive qualities and I'm weary of just how good he is at picking up girls, cause from what I heard of him and how my gf was when talking about him, he sounds like a potantial threat... and I gota make sure he doesn't take this girl from me as (and I'm not putting her on a pedastel when I say this) she is genuinely a damn good catch, both looks and personality!

    So... what is the deal with her body language? For me I think she kinda fancies him (playing with her hair), and I don't think she's being totally honest about how she see's him (lack of eye contact when she talked about him). What do you guys get from this, and what would the best course of action be? I was thinking of bringing him up again, and just pulling her on the body language and tell her to be honest with me.. I know, bit forward, but she knows I'm excellent at reading people's body language and this is doing my head in a bit cause I do really like the girl, and don't want to be sucked into a false sense of security (again!! lol). Gota play this one right, she has never seemed like the type to cheat, but anyone is capable of it imo so I need to know what the score is sooner rather than later and get out if it all seems a bit dodgy.

    ps - If he does seem like a threat to you guys and it seems he has actually got into her head a bit, any ideas how to keep him out of her head as a potential partner? Cus I'll hardly ever be about up at her place.

    Any thoughts appreciated, Cheers buds!

  2. #2
    jabu Guest

    Default Re: New gf,,. is another guy a potential problem??

    Ugh... realised how AFC my thinking was on this... read another post there, and I just got to remain alpha and talk about this guy like he's just a friend and show that I'm not at all bothered about him. Which I'm actually not now thankfully, don't know what came over me! lol.

    Body language is something I'm good at interpreting, but I'm puzzled as to why I'm struggling to clarify what my gf's body language was saying.. maybe it's because I'm so into her I'm clouding my own judgement a bit.. I don't know. Anyway, if you want to reply to this go ahead I'd like to hear other views, but just thought I'd say I'm at pretty much at ease about it now.

  3. #3
    rangersfc08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New gf,,. is another guy a potential problem??

    In my opinion, when talking to her make sure 100% you act like it doesn't bother you. Girls like confidence. If you start to act insecure she's going to think you have trust issues which will push her away. Girls also love attention and love to be the center of drama (generalization). She may be talking about him to make you jealous. Don't let it bother you, just let it slide off. Once she realizes that it doesn't bother you, she may try harder to keep you around because you're a "man" and don't get phased by stuff.

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