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  1. #1
    bren24 Guest

    Question Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    So there is this girl that I am really into and we've been occassionally hanging out and texting the past couple of months. It is progressing but very slowly. My gut feeling tells me that she is interested in me by her body language and the way she responds to text messages but sometimes I get negative thoughts in my head telling me that she might just want to be friends...

    How often should I text her first? I mean she contacts me first probably 30% of the time but most of the time it is on nights that she wants to go out and party and asks what I am doing. However, she has had a boyfriend during this time, but now they just broke up so I am wondering if I need to text her first everytime?

    Does it turn girls off and make a guy look desperate and needy when they text first everytime?
    Should I wait for her to make an effort to contact me if she really likes me since I have contacted her first the past few times?

    I have been beating it around the bush and playing it cool whenever I talk to her without making it obvious that I like her more than I friend so she might be thinking the same way I am... Am I playing my cards right in this situation?

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    woah woah woah. u r looking way too much into this bro. and im sure after texting and stuff for a couple months, if she was attracted its probably dead. i see u being in the friend zone right now
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  3. #3
    bren24 Guest

    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    What makes you think it would be dead? She's had a boyfriend, so I've just been laying back and not trying to over do it and act needy. 2 months is not that long of knowing someone..I mean I can't tell if she's trying to play hard to get and beat around the bush like I am or what...?

    I always find these head case girls that play too many games..

  4. #4
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    yeah its not long for knowing someone. but its a long time for trying to keep attraction there. trust me she probably sees u as a friend and if not ur lucky
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  5. #5
    halkans5 Guest

    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    similar scenario is looming in the near future for me. However, I have gotten with the chick in my situation (HB10, arguably, and I've done everything but F-Close). However, she's attracted but things are done for the near future (bunch of BS reasons), so what do you suggest I do if I want to keep her for the future. Basically, what should bren24 have done two months ago?

    Should I go find other girls and stop talking to her?

  6. #6
    imme1st Guest

    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    dude nothing is never dead..

  7. #7
    Miko is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    With enough properly lengthed and spaced freeze-outs you can drag on attraction FOREVER, though there's no reason to dick around if you can make it happen. I don't like the post that said you're screwed. The trick to avoiding the friendzone is escalating physical contact and suggestive comments and non-verbal communication. ALWAYS move forward with those three things fast enough but not too fast. It's a balancing act and you've got to walk it, that's just how it is.

  8. #8
    jbardu87 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miko View Post
    With enough properly lengthed and spaced freeze-outs you can drag on attraction FOREVER, though there's no reason to d1ck around if you can make it happen. I don't like the post that said you're screwed. The trick to avoiding the friendzone is escalating physical contact and suggestive comments and non-verbal communication. ALWAYS move forward with those three things fast enough but not too fast. It's a balancing act and you've got to walk it, that's just how it is.
    i agree completely! crob remember my text convo with that chick? i only hung out with her a couple times (at school) and that was back in october. but yet shes still attracted. like said above its all a balance act and nothing is dead until its dead. freeze her out for a solid couple of weeks and then come back in and re frame. you can get out of the friendzone in my opinion, just takes alot of help from here

  9. #9
    Whoorple Guest

    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    I agree with mostly all of this...I don't think you're gonna get anywhere with a girl once you're in LJBF land.

    I have seen two exceptions though. Back in high school my friend pestered this girl who wanted nothing to do with him over...and over...and over...for literally a year. And she finally just gave in, ironically he was the one who dumped her

    The second was me in high school, head over heels with the first girl I had feelings for. Asked her to be my girlfriend over a text message Needless to say she strung me along a looong time but God knows why one day I got a text saying "Hey Cutie" and ended up in bed with her later on.

    That same girl begs to hang out with me whenever I get back into town now. So who knows...

    Anything can happen but don't hold your breath imo!

  10. #10
    geo557 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Does it look desperate and turn a girl off by texting her first everytime?

    bro im in the same situation as you were, i graduated HS in 2009 and met this girl my junior year.. what should i do


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