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  • 1 Post By LoveLab

Thread: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

  1. #1
    amantho Guest

    Default Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    Hi
    I need help figuring this situation out. I know a girl that I have hung out with once or twice in the past. Well, during the end of finals, I saw her and playfully told her to send me some of her work for one of the classes because I didn't want to do it myself. She obliged and sent it, and I started a line of communication with her after that. A bunch of texts, negging and stuff in person when I saw her around. Didn't spend too much time with her in general.
    Well, a couple of days ago, after our final, this was the exchange. Please tell me what I did wrong, and how should I proceed (or not proceed at all). Thanks! (Note, Ive time stamped the conversation)

    her: "whatchu dooiinnggg??" t=0
    me: "hey, probably going to drink and then go out later tonight... interested?" t=20mins
    her: "yesssss!" t=21mins
    me " cool, is it just you?" t=35 mins

    And then NO REPLY. I didn't reply back either, because I was genuinely having a good time with some of my friends that I almost forgot.
    But I did get a little confused. I didn't send another message, nor did I receive anything from her. I don't particularly care about the outcome from an emotional perspective, but I do care from a learning perspective. Did I do something wrong?

    I would love to hear your input!

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Raven Guest

    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    Looks fine to me bro. Seems like a totally legit question. I would have called her and acted like nothing happened, told her where to go.

  3. #3
    Ridikulus Guest

    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    Yeah, i'd have called or texted and just asked if she'd rather go to place1 or place2 and maybe asked her why she's choosing one place over the other. Then just meet her there, with or without other people to hang out with.

  4. #4
    LoveLab Guest

    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    I'd say the problem is that you were not making your intentions clear to her. I'm not sure what you intended, either, to be honest. Were you asking her on a date? Or were you asking her to go "hang out" with other people?

    So, when she responded with "yesssss" (which sounds pretty enthusiastic, btw) instead of using the chance to make your intentions clear, you asked HER what the situation was.

    That's why she didn't answer, because you put her in an embarrassing position. Either way she answers, she could lose because when you say "is it just you?" she suddenly realizes she doesn't know what you intended to ask her.

    She could answer "no, I'm bringing friends" but what if you meant it to be just the two of you? Or she could say "yes, just me" but then what if she shows up and you have your buddies (or even worse, other girls) there?

    So that's what goes through her mind. Not only can she not answer because she fears an embarrassing situation...also, and perhaps more importantly, she realizes that you're putting the decision on HER whether this is a date or not.

  5. #5
    sinkalos's Avatar
    sinkalos is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    I'd have skipped the last question and simply told her where to meet. Making her think about the plans of the night puts her off. Finals just ended, she needed to relax and let life come to her. At that point you simply tell her where you will meet her at and I'm sure she would have been more than enthusiastic to be there. Don't x her off your list yet, just be cautious of your timing and remember to be Alpha. Asking questions like if she is bringing people show that you are willing to change your plans based on her response. You let her take Alpha away from you and in return lost value. dhv and try again.

  6. #6
    Mrbyrd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    Nah your fine. She texted you first so its possible by not replying she was trying to "even the tables". or she forgot or got busy theres plenty of reasons she might not have replied. the text might not have gone through either. You probably should have gone into more detail and gotten plans made before you asked if anybody else was coming.

  7. #7
    hyp
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    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    her: "whatchu dooiinnggg??" t=0 ---fine
    me: "hey, probably going to drink and then go out later tonight... interested?" t=20mins ---fine
    her: "yesssss!" t=21mins ----fine
    me " cool, is it just you?" t=35 mins ---who else would it be? her brother playing a prank or the guy next door? don't ever ask this, expect it's always only her, she'll shed light if shes bringing a friend/mate, that's how things work and how they've always

    and i'm taking it she never came?
    we could probably graph a quadratic equation against the replies here :P

  8. #8
    Konnect Life is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLab View Post
    I'd say the problem is that you were not making your intentions clear to her. I'm not sure what you intended, either, to be honest. Were you asking her on a date? Or were you asking her to go "hang out" with other people?

    So, when she responded with "yesssss" (which sounds pretty enthusiastic, btw) instead of using the chance to make your intentions clear, you asked HER what the situation was.

    That's why she didn't answer, because you put her in an embarrassing position. Either way she answers, she could lose because when you say "is it just you?" she suddenly realizes she doesn't know what you intended to ask her.

    She could answer "no, I'm bringing friends" but what if you meant it to be just the two of you? Or she could say "yes, just me" but then what if she shows up and you have your buddies (or even worse, other girls) there?

    So that's what goes through her mind. Not only can she not answer because she fears an embarrassing situation...also, and perhaps more importantly, she realizes that you're putting the decision on HER whether this is a date or not.

    And what makes this whole thing confusing is that the other day I JUST had a girl get super pissed because I always made the decision and told girls whether or not it was a date rather than asking them and letting them have a say in whether or not it was a date.

    Not sure whether or not this suggestion will be beneficial to you, but I was thinking of never letting my texts exceed four lines back and forth so I could avoid screwing everything up by doing/saying things wrong. However, this post shows that even going that far still leaves room for mistakes and error. I guess I'll just stick to my new four texts max rule anyway. If I can't get her to go out with four texts or less and there's no other way t see them in person, I'll just move on to another girl. That's my best option for now until I figure out how to get this right.

  9. #9
    hyp
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    Default Re: Weird texting situation. Maybe I was a little too forward?

    And what makes this whole thing confusing is that the other day I JUST had a girl get super pissed because I always made the decision
    this is where you say "what is wrong with your voice?" or something along these lines because who the fqck cares if no one else is making the decision then you fqckin take charge and make that decision and everyone else can suffer in their jocks

    I guess I'll just stick to my new four texts max rule anyway. If I can't get her to go out with four texts or less and there's no other way t see them in person, I'll just move on to another girl.
    i'm not sure how efficient that'll be actually getting her to come out but i see where you're coming from which is pretty good for screening


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