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Thread: DOOMED / help?

  1. #1
    Dystopiax Guest

    Default DOOMED / help?

    Iím a 21 year old virgin with no relationship experience and the first time ever really trying I really farked it up. Iím currently at a vocational school called job corps where we live in dorms and can only go to town on the weekends. I started talking with the girl in early October and we would go out together every weekend for like 4 weeks but all we would do is converse and go shopping and occasionally out to eat.

    At that time it had seemed like she liked me however I could never make any moves e.g. hold hands; kiss, put my arm around her despite all my friends telling me thatís what I needed to do. Gradually we started hanging out together less, despite my constant attempt to. I was thinking to myself that maybe she didnít like me but I was persistent and continued to trying to hangout but she there would be an excuse every time. I was missing her more and more, Iíd constantly think about her in class and could not get her off my mind, I kept telling myself when I see her next time I was going to step up my game and make some moves.

    However I did not. Not being able to reach her to ask her out to town I went by myself the next weekend thinking maybe sheíd just go. She did, and I saw her while I was in the library, I went up to her and started talking with her and then just started following, I was trying to just hangout like we used to and maybe thereíd be a good opportunity to make a move but again I was too nervous. It was the weekend before winter break and despite me calling a lot; I could not reach her in order to see if she was going to town. So I did the same thing, abandon whatever I was doing and just follow her around and talk with her. Leading up to my two week vacation my friend told me she was now talking with this alpha male type guy, so I had my friend who knew him ask if he's trying to get with her and he said he wasn't but also told my friend that the girl I like was starting to think I was creepy because all I did was follow her and not make any moves.

    I was pretty sad but in retrospect it made sense I was just too ignorant to realize what I had done. Itís now winter break and Iím still thinking of her a lot and how retarded I was. I was wondering if anyone had any solution on earth as to how I could salvage this mess. Any input would be amazing but Iím not naive, at least not anymore the situation seems hopeless and everyone I was previously getting advice from said I should move on so I figured I should get advice from experts.


  2. #2
    Dystopiax Guest

    Default Re: DOOMED / help?

    Could really use some sort of advice. =/

  3. #3
    chulin Guest

    Default Re: DOOMED / help?

    waddap d
    i aint no xpert but ill give ma 2 cents. your girl went from feeling very comfortable wit u to being creeped out by u. n theres no worse turn off than creepy. not tryin to make u feel worse but its the breakdown of the situation. u could either continue to beat urself up for it or learn from ur mistakes n better urself. i suggest u read magic bullets by savoy. itll give a breakdown of how to interact wit females. goin from approachin to havin a relationship. but first of all u need confidence in urself. werk on ur inner game.
    bein a 21 yo virgin must feel like a huge weight on ur shoulders n wit it u got insecurity n ignorance on the werkings of interaction wit girls. from ur account seems like u didnt have a problem buildin comfort wit the girl. where u failed is buildin sexual Tension & attraction.
    id suggest u move on to the next to a fresh start. if u really really REALLY really want dis girl u lay low for now so u dont continue to creep her out. also interact wit other girls in front of her to show her u not a creep n girls feel comfortable wit u. then after some time u can go back to her n start all over again. makin her comfortable wit u once more but then this time build n escalate Kino wit her.
    Last edited by chulin; 12-19-2010 at 11:26 PM.

  4. #4
    Raven Guest

    Default Re: DOOMED / help?

    I agree with Chulin totally. Move on to the next. You really are not salvaging this, you AFC'd all semester. The man HAS to make a move, the woman RARELY will. Accepting the job of escalation and accepting rejection when escalation is foiled is the duty of the mature masculine man. A woman wants a man who LEADS and takes command. You lost her, but, fortunately, and you're here now, and it's time for your makeover into an alpha male yourself. You need to learn to be an alpha male yourself, and this post should be the start of that journey.

  5. #5
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: DOOMED / help?

    ok well after giving tons of advice and seeing many situations like this i would agree. freeze her out. stop talking to her and then start interacting with other girls. and if you want her interact with them, party with them, and show her your a great guy and girls love being around you. once you can do that she will start to think maybe she didnt give you enough of a chance and then start talking to you again. there is no magic bullet that will just take her from thinking your creepy to thinking your amazing and wanting to sleep with you. u just need to move on and maybe by moving on and developing a new frame u will snag this chick in the future.
    I live in my reality and youíre a guest

  6. #6
    Pinai Guest

    Default Re: DOOMED / help?

    Oh... yeah. She must have liked you enough at first but is now just wondering what your deal is. I think you need to work on how you tallk to girls... theres that fine line between falling in step with someone and ending up talking AND talking while following someone. Obviously, when you approach her, you may get her talking but you also fail to get her into thinking you're at least walking together. With her or any other girl, that's a huge barrier.


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