So I have a few issues that have been pressing me for a while. I haven't been on this site for a while, and I now need answers. Ill give a little background about the relationship and then discuss in separate parts, the issues.
So I am 18, this girl is 20, not really important. Anyway, we met at my college, and started seeing each other. It started good and progressed every time I saw her, getting better and better. We kissed on date 1, and its been getting better since, but at a snails pace, literally...We also recently stayed at a 5-star resort, only a few weeks after meeting her. Some things sex-related: (1-We have NOT had sex yet and weve been seeing each other for 2 months.) (2- We have gotten nude together, taken a shower, washed each other off, ive played with her nipples, but no oral, and she hasnt touched my package.) (3- We went to a sex-shop and talked about alot of different things, and got some handcuffs, blindfold, other accessories, etc basically the works...) Now onto the issues I am having.
1- This is best to start with because it is very important and affected our relationship a ton. So we have been "friends" for 2 months now. We both feel like it has been getting more serious as time goes on. She told me she wants to get serious, and I told her I couldnt, because I just want to have fun (a lie, I wouldnt mind getting serious at all, infact would love to). The truth came out a few weeks later. The reason is because religion is very important to me, and she does not share the same beliefs, therefore, I cannot get "serious" with a woman that could possibly end up being my wife, if we dont have the same views on religion and our faith life is different. She understands it all, and she wants to know more, because she feels she needs to know more before she can decide if I am 100% worth it to get involved in something so serious. But, I feel like it has ruined what we had before. SO, the question I have about this is "What is the best way to go back to how it was before?"
2) I hear often she is making plans with other friends. Obviously we are not serious, and im not too jealous and its not a big deal, but I sort of get a little feeling like "why is she sorta flirting with her other friends if she claims she loves who i am and doesnt want to lose me?" is there a possibility here of her cheating on me?
3) The question is "Why havent we had sex?" I know me personally I am not that aggressive, I feel I need to show her what I want. We have gotten so close, according to the stuff i listed above, but would her saying she "doesnt want to jump into something fast that she might regret it" mean that she wont ever have sex with me until we are more serious??? I mean, she is even going as far as to showing me new sexy outfits she buys, and storing the sex accessories at her house cuz i live at home, it seems like she would. Another 2 questions while im talking about it. 1- "Would it be good to communicate to her regarding sexual things? Like talking about what she is open for, and what she is comfortable with, and ask if she is just leading me on?" 2- "I am sort of wondering about the gazillion pictures of her posing in sexy outfits and things like that, half nude, etc. She doesnt send them to me (which i understand she doesnt want them spread around) she only shows the pics to me in person. But it feels like she could be sending them to other guys behind my back. I guess i dont really care, im not worried about her cheating on me, but i was curious...
4) I think I know the answer to this already but "Do I need to stop acting like a retard and treating this relationship like its something special? I tell her im always available for her to chill with, and i think im trying to hard to please her, and i need to act like I did when I met her, not the same way as I am now?"
I am going to be texting her tmrw about sexual things in general. I would like advice on how to find out what she is looking for, and how I can open that conversation smoother, she already knows we have to talk about something tho. But let me know if I SHOULD or SHOULDNT talk about any of the following things: 1- I want to ask where she feels we are in regards to sex. 2- Want to ask how comfortable she is with me. 3- Want to ask if she has any inhibitions and what they are. 4- Want to ask if she is just leading me on, and isnt going to do anything. 5- Basically tell her I want to know how comfortable she is with me in terms of sex, because I have been holding back, because she said something about not doing it if your not serious, and knowing her feelings on the situation will help shed those inhibitions i have and keep me from holding back and pleasing her so much that she feels like a queen.
I may have more questions but i cant think anymore. I will greatly appreciate any feedback, and hope to hear from some people that have been in the same boat as me. Thanks!