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  1. #41
    marlinfisher is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bartender

    Sorry i didnt read far enough into the post lol. Was being pulled in too many directions.

  2. #42
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Bartender

    As long as you are honest with her and yourself, you're good. Take it day by day. I try to let life unfold. If you're hot for her, enjoy. Those other things will sort themselves out. Just be honest and stay honest. If you see things changing, be honest enough to admit there is a change and analyze what it means.

  3. #43
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bartender

    I must say this is becoming a very interesting thread...

    Steel-O, I am currently in a similar situation and let me share a little insight on my side... I'm dating a single mom, (who recently" separated with her husband and she has 2 kids. We talk everyday, do all the fun stuff, but at the end of certain days, where she'd break down and just say how she is never sure how things are going in her life, her kids and the rightful father of the children... this goes back to TangoFoxTrot, the only person that will hurt the most because of her simplicity sakes... is you. I am currently 23 and she's 35, and I told her I don't intend on long-term futue plans because there's still a lot happening, I just started my career and other stuff. She understands, but long story short, it's difficult, because there will always be a hurdle, no matter how good things are.

    Honesty is key and I feel, that conversations are required to strengthen the relationship. I hope your head is clear everyday and that you are 100% certain of what's happening.

    one of her kids said, you're like a dad to me now... DAD?!?!?! it's the worst feeling ever, because KID is NOT mine.. it's scary stuff... but hey! if you like this girl (or dare say I.. "love"), then I guess you are willing to fight this battle and win.

    good luck brother.

  4. #44
    Steel-O's Avatar
    Steel-O is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bartender

    We went for a 2 hour drive drive down the beach the other day. At point I asked how she feels now that she is single again, and how she looks at the (near) future.

    She told me she feels a lot of chemistry. She seems so happy that she finally met a guy she can talk to and have a serious conversation with. She also said that she doesn't want to step in a new relationship right away. When I asked her if she would go out if she would meet a great guy at her work again, she said no and that she is really happy she found someone where she has this much chemistry with. Then she told me she wants to exclusive, just doesn't want to call it bf/gf yet.

    To be honest I have no problem with that all. I told her I want to take it really slow cause she just came out of a long term relationship. And that I want to do the right thing to make it work.

    It's weird to all of a sudden have to turn off my PUA skills. I was still thinking to a few girls, that don't even come close to this girl(looks and personality wise). But I had to tell them it's better not to go out anymore.

    What do you guys think? I think what she said was really positive. Just hope I'm not missing something

  5. #45
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bartender

    I think she's playing it safe, and you have actually become yourself again ....

    for me, i realized that one day, when i meet the one girl I want to be with, I'll have to be myself again.. i guess this moment has happened for you right now.

    I think she's safe and she cares for you enough to take it slow and building a strong fundamental base to the relationship... good stuff!

  6. #46
    Steel-O's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender

    So I kinda farked up. I'm complaining too much about her changing plans last minute and being late a lot. We had a conversation yesterday that I initiated because I could totally tell she was acting differently lately.

    She told me she feels like she has to be perfect or I will get disappointed. She feels like she is walking on egg shells.

    I got her point and I realize I have to play it cool more often. I'm asking too much from her, especially because she has kids.

    She told me she is always happy to see me and def wants to continue. But I need help in how to get her excited about us again. I realize I have to loosen up, but would it be a good idea to totally play it cool for a while and just wait for her to contact me instead of me texting/calling her?

    Tuesday we are going hiking and will be spending the whole day together. I prob need a game plan for that day...

    It feels like she is falling out of love. Hopefully I still got a shot at this.

    Thanks for the help, I'll need it.

  7. #47
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bartender

    heres a bartender story i want throw in:

    My friend, married now and always a wealth of knowledge, went to a bar after work. His name was Diego, Ecuadorian in blood born and raised in Manhattan. He noticed how beautiful the bartender was, and how she behaved toward the other customers, with their own attempts at PU. She shrugged them off, to any intuitive mind this obviously means shes been exposed to that ALOT.

    This is what Diego did, he ordered a glass of wine. Now, how often does a person at a bar just order a glass of wine. The bartender says, "Wine???" and gave him a strange look like somewhat subtly a dog hearing a strange sound.

    Diego replied, "Well yeah. Is there a problem with drinking wine here?"

    The bartender says, "Well, no but.... hmm... i guess it IS kinda sophisticated."

    And from there, the bartender and Diego talked and talked until she was done for the night. They kept in touch.

    Today their husband and wife with 2 beautiful children.

    Divorce pending after a few years of this marriage though from what I heard, something about how he cant stand her being ignorant and moody and shit hahaha. Well hey he had something good going for a while, and who wouldn't want that even if it wasnt going to last?

    So here you go, hope this was worth the read.

    Go forth and do great things,
    -Pierrot


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