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  1. #1
    Steel-O's Avatar
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    Default Bartender I see during happy hour with boyfriend

    So I met this bartender and see her at least once a week at her work. I usually going during happy hour when the bar is slow.

    I got her number and we started texting. The first week she would respond like the next day, so I couldn't game her at all. Then the next weeK I asked her out, she told me she has a bf but really like me blablabla.

    Today she invited me to go to a party with her and her friends. We started flirting a little bit thru texting. Then I asked what changed, why does she all of a sudden wants to hang out.

    This is her answer:
    Johnney, I like u and u seem like a great guy. Yes I told u that I can't go out w/u bc I have a bf. But I'd like to be ur friend and hangout w/u sometime if ur ok w/ that

    I should tell her I'm not interested in being just friends right? Any advice appreciated.

  2. #2
    jaicrew's Avatar
    jaicrew is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bartender

    CHicks with BF's.... 55er's rule Number 1, never ask what changed, all it does is trigger her to think of her boyfriend, even if she's fighting with him, just thinking about him is a bad thing. Remember she asked you to do something because you most likly seem fun. Maybe one of her hot friends is looking for a hook-up, Chicks will do this with their friends.

    Instead of focusing on what changed, it is easier to have fun based on the fact that, even if she feel and hit her head on a rock.. something changed and she wants to spend time with you and not her BF.

    If you want to know what changed is, your most likly creating chemistry with her, something she hasn't felt in years if she's in a 2+ year relationship. Either way it's more powerful with you, she communicated that she is interested covertly to you, by inviting you out at a time when her BF wouldn't be around, this is a great ioi for you. Chicks who are cool to hang out and have boyfriends, that aren't interested will have him around the first few times you hang out.

    Just continue to be more fun then him, when you start spending more time with her then she spends with him, Just can start physical complinace testing her.

    As for the just friends, this is killer. Say this to her when she brings it up, If you want to try and stay just friends it's fine with me, however I must warn you I have some animal magnetism that I don't even understand myself, but all the girls who start out as friends, ALWAYS end up wanting more, and if your willing to risk it, I won't stop you..... When I go to far just give me an open palmed slap on the ass, and wink, then I'll know.

    Slowly let a huge smile open out through it, so once you get to the end, your grinning. If she's smiling and laughing, Then it's only a matter of time, as long as you don't f(_)ck it up.
    Last edited by jaicrew; 07-29-2011 at 04:57 PM. Reason: For question

  3. #3
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Bartender

    I would tell her that you have enough friends, but you can always make time in your life for a hot chick who knows her way around a bar. Say it in a way so she understands that your interest is not friendship.

  4. #4
    Steel-O's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender

    Thanks for the replies.

    I will keep updating this thread so hopefully some other people can learn from it too.

    I went to happy hour today with a buddy of mine and we were pretty much the only ones there. The three of us talked non stop for about an hour. At one point we started talking about a serious subject. I'm not really sure how we got to talk about her boyfriend, since I always try to avoid that subject. But she told me that her bf cheated on her before. She told the whole story with all the details. She was complaining about him a little bit and told me that she is not sure if she see's them together forever(I must see that as an ioi right?).

    Right before we left she asked us to come back later at night. I told her maybe.

    I left my car there since my buddy was driving so at around 1130pm we went inside to have one more drink. This time we didn't talk that much since she was pretty busy. However we were joking back and forth when we had the chance to. An hour later I told her I was about to leave and she gave me the 'sad face' and told me not to leave yet.

    About 20 min later we left.

    I'm thinking about texting her tomorrow to tell her I'm happy we had a good conversation and to tell her to make smart decisions, and that she deserves better. Good idea?

    I realize she could just like me as a friend and nothing more like that. She told me twice she thinks im cool and a good person but that she has a bf but wants to be friends and hangout as friends. I still lean a little bit more that she is into me and just is loyal cause she has a bf.

    Time will tell I guess. I appreciate your guys view on this situation.

  5. #5
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Bartender

    If you chose to text her, be very cautious not to come off as a friend. I would only text if I had something good to say--not just because. Texting her advice regarding her current bf may come off like you're one of her gal pals. If you do send something, make it edgy and let it reflect / reinforce that your interest in her is beyond friendship.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Bartender

    Whatever you do don't send THAT text. It sounds like your firmly in the FZ already, I hope I'm wrong. Your gonna need some nagasaki style explosive power to pull yourself out if you are.

  7. #7
    Steel-O's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender

    Quote Originally Posted by TangoFoxtrot View Post
    If you chose to text her, be very cautious not to come off as a friend. I would only text if I had something good to say--not just because. Texting her advice regarding her current bf may come off like you're one of her gal pals. If you do send something, make it edgy and let it reflect / reinforce that your interest in her is beyond friendship.
    When she told me she wanted to be friends because she thinks I'm a cool and good person I told her this:

    "I respect you being in a relationship, that's why I don't think it's a good idea to be friends. I don't want to bring you in the temptation to do something bad "

    And once before I told her I'm not interested in being friends. So hopefully that should be pretty clear.

    I don't just want to text her just to text with her. She already knows it wasn't so smart to take a BF back that already cheated before. I told her she will never be able to fully trust him again and she agreed. So maybe one more text about this subject could help her make the 'right' decision.

    I don't know if this means anything or not but the first time I asked her out she responded with this:
    "I would love to get to know you better too, I would def wanna hangout with you, but I have a bf so I can't" Plus she said something that we still can be friends.

  8. #8
    Steel-O's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bartender

    Quote Originally Posted by jaicrew View Post
    Whatever you do don't send THAT text. It sounds like your firmly in the FZ already, I hope I'm wrong. Your gonna need some nagasaki style explosive power to pull yourself out if you are.
    Even after me telling her I don't want to be friends twice? I also didn't go out with her on Friday. I basically told her there is no point in going out as long as she has a bf. She really tried to convince me to go out with her and her friends that night.

    That also showed her I really don't want to be friends. I think most guys would have gone anyway. So that should have worked in my advantage.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Bartender

    I can agree with that to a certain degree, here's the thing, chicks are always on the lookout for attractive guys for their friends as this boost their value in public when you got out aswell.

    Make sure and use her friends to your advantage and run game on them HC. Telling her you don't want to be friends and her trying hard to get you to come out would say to me that, your green lighted for moving it further, just keep escalating on her. She'll stop you if you get out've line, which may not even happen.

    She probly is into you and, just doesn't know how to rationalise it while she has a BF. Like I said keep escalating, and if you get to a point where she stops you, just smile at her and say this verbatum.

    Her: Hey easy their you gotta watch your hands...
    You: Sometimes I go to far, I told you before, females have a strong attraction to me, and I don't know why. If I do go to far with you the best way to let me know, is a nice open handed slap on my ass, followed by a wink.

    Then smile big and shut up, for a minute, If you are in the FZ this will 70% of the time pull you out've it. The continue to escalate, and you need to kiss her at some point after that before the night ends.

  10. #10
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    nik
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    Default Re: Bartender

    I would go out with her and her friends. If one of them is attractive, go for them. If not, go hit on other women. You will have a good start with every woman in the place if you walk in with a group of women (and at least one is physically attractive). I would, for the most part, ignore the bartender while out.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.


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