I've met a wonderful lady online about 2 months ago. We started to talk to each other more and more openly, or to be correct, she was the one to start talking about her life and sharing her experiences with me; acting very trusting to me.
Things went on like that, and we started to date online. Most of them were fantastic and both really enjoyed them.
We stayed up some nights together and chatted to each other. Sent each other pictures of ourselves.
Later on, something very incredible started to happend; we logged in the same time, wrote to each other at the same time, thought about each other while feeling that the other one is thinking back.
At first, I wasn't very serious about her, since she would normally not be my type... but I am discovering that she actually is more of my type than I think. She might not be hot looking, but she is not ugly.
We both discussed our feelings to each other, that none of us knew what it could mean, but that we want to find out.
Okay, so I am going to write a bit about her before I go on with the things I wonder about:
She has a difficult past, been abused and hit by her boyfriends. Been forced to sex when relatively young, about 15-16.
She has been bullied a lot when she studied at school.
She was so depressed a period, that she went on and had sex with quite a lot of people, about 20.
She could be very sick, the doctors do not know yet. It should not be lethal though hopefully.
She is in her mid 20's and has almost no friends.
So the deal is: I have been giving her a lot of things, let's just say that she have had some major disagreements with some of my friends and I have been talking to both parts for a long time now and sorting their disagreements out. At first she was very careful in how she approached me with that, and saying it's hard for her to talk like that because she likes me. But after a while it became more and more of their disagreements and I started to get frustrated, and a bit sad over it. Because the problem with being the middle man in that manner is that both parties dont wanna talk with each other and sometimes u take both frustrations from them when you're trying to help them out.
She later tells me that it's her "self-defense-mechanism", that pushes away since she is afraid of new relationships and wants to know more and so on.
I can understand that, but does that justify her literally annoying and complaining behavior?
She has some issues apparently, which I do consider when thinking about her. But sometimes she was pushing the limits with me it feels.
I feel that she is a very very special lady for me, I feel that she could be my soul mate to be honest. I feel that she is so nice inside and sweet.
She has been more flirty before I could maybe say.
Something special to consider: she calls us friends, and so do I. BUT, we both agree that we could potentially become more. I have heard Sooo much on the Internet about the 'friend-zone' and it's freaky. But with her I feel that I HAVE to go through the 'friend'zone', to potentially become her partner. Do you know the feeling guys, please?
She is also quite intelligent, but dosent have a lot of confidence. She regrets her sexual activities very much, being with over 20 guys.
I can possible imagine us being together, and I can probably accept that she has been with many guys since she regrets is so much. But one thing Im not sure if I can accept is her 'complaining' behavior sometimes. Is that what all dates do?
I mean we date, despite being friends as we call each other. It dosent feel like we're friends directly, it feels we're more.
She has said that she does appreciate everything good that I do for her, but sometimes her actions speaks otherwise. Sometimes it feels like she just want to find something to pick on, or question, you know? Just for the sake of it, it seems. And that's something I don't really enjoy.
I've talked with her a couple of times about it, and she sounds very sweet and understanding over the phone. But sometimes she can be odd on chats.
I really feel that she has a huge potential guys, but I don't know what to do since I feel that I'm getting emotionally attached to her. I don't know if she feels the same for me, but I think she does but hides it. I feel that deep inside she likes me. It's a caring feeling about her that I have guys. And she cares for me too.
She has been playing a bit 'hard-to-get', maybe because we started to discuss that we could become parters. Maybe because she is afraid of new relationships and takes them with caution which would be understandable. But I dont enjoy her methods of 'pushing-away' to be honest, and I've talked with her about it as well. She seems understanding about it, but at the same time she is a bit confused it seems sometimes.
Okay guys, I really feel that she could be the lady for me. But I havent even met her, can you believe it? She has also said to me that perhaps we will become partners sometime, while we were having a chat on the phone.
What I have in mind is, perhaps I shouldn't be online on skype for some days or a week? And perhaps then she has more time to consider her attitude and think about me.
What would you guys suggest? I really don't know if I should just shut the door for the potential, because I know so little if we would be compatible. Or should I forget about my feelings for her for a while? Because I'm a bit frustrated right now, because I dont know what to do. I believe a good idea would be to take a pause from skype and come online after a week or so. And to reduce what I feel for her a bit, so it dosen't harm myself but still that I know what I feel?
I can say for sure that I'm overanalyzing. Perhaps I lack some confidence, yes.. I don't go out do bars and clubs because I don't feel that's where I can find my girl.. and for me to have sex with someone I think it has to be something more special than a one-night-stand.
I honestly don't think we're stuck in the friend zone, and we have already talked about dating IRL. I really do believe she is one of the ladies that you have to go through that zone before you can become partners with her.
The only reason right now that I'm being so kind to her is that she is ill, and things havent gone her way in life. But it's hopefully getting better for her. I just don't feel like being straight forward to her, because when I have, she has been very sensitive about it.
And yes, I haven't met her, but it's the special feeling that she could potentially become my partner that keeps me going with her. And the fact that I consider her a nice person most of the time too.
Thank you all guys for reading and I really want to read your replies!