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  1. #1
    jasedm1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need advice on a confusing reaction

    I am new to dating again.. At age 40, its a challenge trying to get back into the game. I have read a few books- but really liked David Deangelos stuff as a good starter. I have a situation that has me confused, and a bit hurt to be honest.
    I started dating this woman named Ericka a few weeks ago. From the beginning we got along well and there was alot of eye contact and laughs. I teased her and dialed up the attraction. I leaned back and gave her space, and she responded really really well.
    On the 3rd date a week or so later, we wnet out again and this time I dialed it up and tested her reactions. I would touch her for a while and then remove my hand, she would reach and to reconnect, I teased her for the kiss until the Tension was sky high and backed off.. she responded by touching and leaning into me more and more. I tested her attraction all night and it just kept getting higher and higher, as we had a great time. She also tested me as well. At one point she was getting a little "bitchy" about something kind of ridiculous and starting to make it a big deal.. at first I almost apologized (as I usually would) but I realized what was happening and leaned back, and kind of smiled knowingly. Her reaction was amazing, immediately she dropped it all and reached for my hand.
    Am I painting a picture here? Everything was great, not just great, but awesome.
    Even on the way home we maintained contact until I dropped her off. We kissed and the look on her face when we both admitted we wanted to get together soon was priceless.
    A few days later I text her- no response. I waited two more days after that and sent a text- no response.
    That was yesterday and still no response. I checked her profile on the dating site and she has definitely been online there since- presumably setting up/looking.
    What did I do wrong here? Her behavior had all the classic signs of being into me. For the life of me I am confused here and cant stop thinking about what exactly I did wrong here. Not to mention that I really really liked her. Of all the girls I've dated these last few months she made the biggest impression.. funny, sexy, smart, awesome sense of humor.. definitely relationship material.
    Any ideas on what exactly went wrong and what I should do next?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need advice on a confusing reaction

    This isn't really advice, just sympathy.
    Your moves were great, I don't see anything wrong
    Your pacing was great, your text timing was fine, still nothing wrong

    Girls be girls and even the best PUAs lose em, they flake on me for no reason sometimes too.

    Best guess I can say is wait a week from the last text and try again. But keep up your strategy and work on other girls really seems like you're doing it right

    Welcome back to the game. Don't let the first crazy discourage you
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    jasedm1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice on a confusing reaction

    Hey Red Barron, Thanks for the encouragement.
    Not only am I single for the first time in a long time, but being 40 and I just moved to NYC where I dont know anyone, so I'm all manner of sensitive.
    Thanks for reminding me that sometimes its just not anything you've done.
    But man, this one really has me baffled.
    I think I'll take your advice and wait a week and keep chasin girls, lol. I've been planning my "last message" to her so that it doesn't sound needy yet reclaims my power. Have a few drafts already.
    Mind if I PM you and get an opinion before I actually do it?

  4. #4
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice on a confusing reaction

    Always happy to help and no problem lookin at the draft. Wait a day before ya send it too me, sounds like ya been thinkin about it too much. It's normal when ya like someone, that's why oneitis is so common especially when you're gettin back on your feet
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    jasedm1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice on a confusing reaction

    Cool man. I'm thinking the earliest I'll send it, if I decide to, will be Sunday. Its needy enough to have to chase a bit, I figure the more time I give the less needy the tone will be. It'll also give me time to really see if she's worth it.
    Thanks Man,
    If I can ever return the favor, let me know

  6. #6
    DukeEllington is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice on a confusing reaction

    I have your answer!

    Its not you, its someone else!

    I will share one truth and one story to explain my answer

    Truth: USUALLY, everyone has "someone" when you meet them. Its the attraction you build that draws them, more and more, into your world. Although, if the attraction to the other person remains greater(married, etc), then thats were they will remain.

    Story: I was dating this cougar(HB9). Slept with her a few times, but was trying to build more(she was relationship material also). Took her out one night, underground Jazz spot, nice restaurant, little sight seeing. I was assuming we would head back to my place to call it a night

    Boy was I wrong! she said "I want to pick up a few clothes, I'll meet you there"(we live close, and she knew my address already). It felt a little weird, but all I could do was wait it out. She never showed.

    we (she) had plans to meet up the next day, it didnt happen. the next week (me), it didnt happen.

    she already knew I was a no nonsence kind of guy, so she was doing what us guys do. just droping off the face of the earth, to get rid of someone. oh well.

    Anyway a few days later. she put up a picture on facebook of a big(cheap $25) bouqet, that was sent to her office; with the caption "look what my boo got me".

    I'm thinking, WOW, she met someone already, calls him boo, and acepts flowers from him; at her job.(I didnt have her job location)

    Thats when it hit me; he was her "boo" all along. This kind of hurt me, because I did like her, and wanted a relationship with her. BUT, as always, you cant hate the player, you can only hate the game. SMH


    With that said, consider it a learning experience.


    The duke:
    All I care about is money(gold as of now)


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