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  1. #1
    Marvinl24 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Time to cut my losses?

    So here's the situation:

    I've been with this girl for over 9 months now. Everything was perfect for the first 6 months then we hit a rocky patch where we'd break up, make up, break up... you get it. We'd continue trying for the sake of each other & the feelings we had for one another. Now here's problem... she suddenly started becoming very secretive about 3 weeks before she said wanted to break up for good. I couldn't understand why. Then I discovered she starting talking to her ex again & even tried to lie to me saying she was going away with her mom for the weekend but was going to stay with him but she didn't in the end & spent that weekend with me. Then we broke up & that week went out twice & started meeting a guy she use to date who wasn't her ex the day she cut me off.

    I tried to make her see we still had a future together for about a week cause I didn't see this coming & my previous 'I don't care if you leave me' attitude went out the window & she realised she had the upper hand. She's been playing off this since 2 weeks ago when we broke up. Eventually I got her to try one more time but she doesn't want the title of being in a relationship & if I say anything outta line she's like fark you, leave me alone etc. & she pretends to me she wants us but then behind my back is uploading pictures of her & her ex on a soial networking site.

    She says the biggest reason for her not wanting to be with me anymore is because I lied about my age which she found out MONTHS ago. I just couldn't find a way to tell her. So she's tryna say lies killed us & her affection for me.

    But the weird thing is that she still gets mad if I talk to any girls, checks my phone etc.

    So today, I woke up & realised what a bitch I was being & froze her out. She called me twice, I didn't answer. Texted me 3 times & I didn't respond & her last text ended 'whatever. fark you'. The problem is I've really grown attached to this girl. It's difficult for me to let her go but she obviously doesn't feel the same anymore. Is it time to cut my losses? Or what do you guys suggest?

    Thanks in advance!
    Last edited by Marvinl24; 11-07-2011 at 12:46 PM. Reason: Needed to add something.

  2. #2
    DukeEllington is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Time to cut my losses?

    Hey Marvin, I'll have a go

    First of all; Welcome to the site. I like your honesty, because it allows others to provide more helpfull advice. I'm sure by just re-reading your txt you will have found your answer.(this is the point of a journal). You fought (how respectfully, i'm not sure) for want you wanted, and it just wasn't in the hands. By fighting you have proven, to yourself, that you as a person tried to make it work. Awesome.

    Second, the advice: NEVER FORGET TO KEEP CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS, and NEVER BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY.

    One person will chase, and the other will be chased. When you acknowledge your emotions to the other person; unfortunetly, you come off as weak. A person "must know" that at any moment they can lose you, if they dont act wisely. The moment you change that statment and its meaning; you change the whole relationship, and its meaning. (now you "must know" to act wisely or lose her)

    Women want the man whos hard to get, because they "feel" it will be difficult for others to get him. When she feels as though "YOU NEED HER", you have become a liability. Again; YOUR POWER LIES IN THE FACT THAT YOU CAN WALK AWAY.

    I'm assuming, my drawn out statment relates to your situation in two reasons.

    1) You have given her too much power, by "SHOWING HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER". thus, letting her know how much "you can't be without her". Hopefully you see by now, you must never sweat someone, to this extent.

    2) You MUST CONCENTRATE ON YOUR FUTURE at all times; thereby making yourself more attractive to women, and less prone to worrying if they leave.


    hopefully, my words were helpfull and informative


    more power to you
    Duke

  3. #3
    Marvinl24 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Time to cut my losses?

    Thanks very much for the response.

    I really relate to what you're saying. I finally snapped out of it today & realized how I was making myself look. The ironic thing about this situation is that she said she fell in love with me initially cause I was the first guy she's ever CHASED, which really turned her on.

    & now obviously the tables have turned. I'm no longer that guy was 'different'. My general approach to girls in general is just to stay in their head (ping them once a week or so) but let them chase most of the time. It's the best way in my opinion which I owe a lot to PUA.

    So overall, you'd suggest I cut my losses & move on to the next one? or freeze her out for a period of time - maybe a week or two, then perhaps try & go back in? What do you suggest?

    Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by Marvinl24; 11-07-2011 at 04:16 PM. Reason: Mistake

  4. #4
    DukeEllington is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Time to cut my losses?

    You must not know of the great Duke Ellington, as far as seduction is concerned.

    He was a man who never burned a bridge. Any woman he ever had(from all over the country) he could get again, because he never trully ended any of them. He knew how to leave on a good note, and was a master in this respect(his lovers would confess this themselves).

    SO OF COURSE I would sugest playing it cool, and like I said "CONCENTRATE ON YOUR FUTURE". It is all that really maters.

    As far as this woman, I would tell her "I just want you to know I'm there for you" and mean it (never know what the futer holds)

    Then I would get back to business! My business

    Women LOVE success, when women(or this woman) see that you are concentrating on yourself= they see you have a goal= You have, in a sence, become a NATURAL!




    We ARE the go-getters
    The Duke

  5. #5
    Marvinl24 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Time to cut my losses?

    Great responses man. I really appreciate them. I agree with what you said & I am going to focus on me & MY future. It ain't like I'm unattractive or anything so I really need to snap outta this 'she's the one for me' phase I'm in.

    On another note however, I froze her out for a full day & she proceeded to start with her usually 'I love you but I can't do this. This is the last you'll hear from me' or 'I'm done with you for good'. To which for the first time I didn't respond to & try & plead with her. I think this shocked her & she called me repeatedly to which I finally answered. She was angered that I went clubbing with friends that night, ignored her & etc. but she didn't wanna hang up everytime I said 'OK, I'm going now' she would always say 'I love you you know'. So I think I still have her hooked & she was definitely playing off the me doing the chasing & now my behavior is shocking her. So I'm a little thrown on how to approach this now.

    A final piece of advice would be very much appreciated. You've been very helpful so far.

    Thanks in advance.

  6. #6
    DukeEllington is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Time to cut my losses?

    You're already on the right path, by taking the steps to control your happiness..


    Only thing left is to recite one of my favorite quotes

    "You're more than welcome, we aint on no bullsish; we so suckerfree though" = Jay-z

    What he was saying here was: You can hang with us, but ONLY if you act right.

    I think that qoute carries the same air we all should have as pick up artistS(REMAIN WITHIN A CONFIDENT FRAME).

    You just have to have the right mind; when she/anyone gets out of line, to say things like "I dont apreciate your attitude", or "whatever makes you happy"= and mean it; its that simple


    Live that life
    Duke


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