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Thread: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

  1. #1
    Bender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Hey guys, so I met a girl 2 weeks ago, she had a bf at the time. They broke up last weekend and I started taking her out a few times for drinks since then. She's a bit of a party girl who has a low paying job. She's 20 , basically in party mode of her life and just likes to have fun while figuring out what she wants to do with her life. Me on the other hand, I'm 26 successful and still love to party. She is really attracted to me, I've made out with her, fooled around with her etc. My question is, I don't have a problem taking her out and buying her drinks because I feel the guy should always pay for the girl when he takes her out, but based on my situation, I would like to know if you think she is taking this kindness for a weakness. I'm obviously not gonna go buy her jewellery and crap like but do you think I should do something different? or just keep doing the same thing and treat her special like I have been.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Connor is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    hmmm... tough one. where exactly are you hoping to go with her? do you want to date exclusively someday or just have a casual fling kinda thing? cuz I'd recommend something different given each different outcome you're hoping for.

  3. #3
    Bender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Well I think I could see myself dating her exclusivley because we both have a great time being around each other. I just dont know if Im handling everything the right way by being "a nice guy"

  4. #4
    Connor is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    That is a little tricky then. hmm. well you're definitely right about one thing, it definitely sounds like she is still in that "party mode" of her life. I'd say, keep your options open... continue to be the nice guy that you are, but don't be too completely available to her either. If you're always reliable "Johnny on the spot" then she probably will abuse your kindness. Very sad but true man. In my opinion, I'd say show your interest in her but let her show interest back at you, too. Like how often does she text and/or call you? Is it only when she's looking to go out for a few free drinks cuz she has nothing better to do? or does she ever text just to see how your day is going too? If she shows a genuine interest in -you-, and not just all the drinks you buy her when you go out, you'll be able to tell if you keep a watch out for subtle cues like that. Does she ever ask personal question like what you like to do for fun? Your favorite hobbies, movies, etc? Good luck man! I really hope you can figure this girl out. I'd be interested in hearing other guys' opinions on this too!

  5. #5
    Bender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Great reply...i totally agree with you. She does initiate text with me and last night she asked if i want to rent and watch a movie with her instead of going out to the theatre for tonight. I have to agree to not look to reliable or desperate with her though. I actually think I'm going to cancel our plans tonight and wait until saturday to go out with her. She has been single for about 2 weeks now and I have to admit, I initiated the break-up by telling her that her bf was treating her like crap and that she deserved better. (which he actually was lol) I think now that we have built a good rapport and attraction for each other, the best thing to do is let her come to me or "keep my options open". Thanks for the advice buddy! Any other comments are more then welcome to be left!

  6. #6
    Striker9 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Every1 takes kindness for weakness ,for example u can help a guy get outta debt ,but he be running his mouth abwt ,wat a sucker u r ,how u r gulliable
    Dont have routines as the cards in your deck ,have skill instead ,because once a routine is done ,its done ,you cant do it again in the same interaction ,but skills can be done over and over ,so then you could play a card twice.

  7. #7
    DukeEllington is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Reading this thread has just opened my eyes to something!

    What if, a person taking kindness for weakness is the reason most relationships fail.

    Relationships are built on sharing. Depending on the situation one might share more than the other, thus making the receiver comfortable getting rather than giving, thus making the receiver less apreciative of the gifts they are gave, thus making the giver resentfull for giving

    It reminds me of marketing= supply and demand.

    The supply must match or hardly meet the demand or else the demand will deminish..

    An example was in a tv show I watched last night.

    * A lady got her friends to help her with a business start up, by making 1000 hair pins in one night. They worked all through the night for free; and didnt even want money (they were sharing their time/energy with her.) The next morning barely awoke, and just finishing; the lady checks her computer and says "wow I have another order for 1000, everybody lets get back to work"... everyone left..*

    If the lady would have paid(shared with) her friends, maybe they would have helped her. this is why it takes two people for it to work, because one CANT MAKE YOU/THEM SHARE!

    MY POINT: even if she is not (consiously)using you, if you give way more than you get, you will resent her; thus any relationship is based on the proceived value of what is shared.

    the Duke

  8. #8
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    Kindness is not weakness. Weakness is weakness. You can be kind without being weak. Holding the door for a woman is kind, but in no way weak.

    If you find yourself being a doormat for someone, remind yourself that you are not being "kind", you are being "weak". People, especially women, do not want a doormat; except, for a play thing and meal ticket. They want a challenge, but to also be respected.

    That aside, do you really think it will work out making a 20 year old party girl your girlfriend? Sounds like a waste of time. Someone you hang out with and party with, yes. You even said she's figuring out what to do with her life. Enjoy the sex and let her grow up some.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  9. #9
    Tanktop is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    I would reccomend shifting your dates to something else other than drinks. This might sound gay but i promise you it works if you want to exclusively date a girl.

    Establish a time on the weekend or whenever you have a full day. Pack lunches drinks, and some alky if you want in a back pack.

    Take her for a hike or something outdoors she has never done or a place she has never been too. It will allow you two to talk without alcohol on the way. (i took a broad to a top of the waterfall that was a 4.5 mile hike and we stood on the edge and ate lunch) Needless to say she could not stop texting me about how no guy had ever been that adventerous and done something like that for her.

    She was hooked from then on out. i ended up robbing the v and dating her for 6 months until i cheated on her.

    The reason i recconmend this tactic is it cost next to nothing and puts quality on the time you spend together

  10. #10
    Tanktop is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it true girls take "kindness" for "weakness"?

    and it will create speciific memory to only the two of you. Comfort to be exact


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