So i already had sex with this girl once and in this facebook chat conversation i tried to get her to my place again but it didnt work, maybe too cocky?? needy?? critics are welcome, thanks!
Me: sooo, what are you doing weirdo?
Her: well, i would be studying if it weren't for you just interrupting me, what about you?
Me: just got home from the hospital
you have an exam tomorrow?
but that's not what i'm studying for, the exam i have tomorrow does not really require any studying.. so right now, i'm with the esperpento dramaturgy
and having soooo much fun
Me: seriously????? are you always that boring?
Her: nope, just 2 months a year, tops
Me: sorry if i don’t believe you but we will see
Her: you don't have to believe it, you'll have to agree eventually anyway
what about you, spent the whole day at the hospital, what's so funny and fascinating bout that?
Me: too fascinating to tell you
but now I’m dying for a drink
i think you should buy me one
Her: why would i do that??
Me: because you really really need some fun in your life
Her: nope, i really really need to get this done by tonight
my life is allowed to be fun all the rest of the time
right now, i'm meant to be smart for a month
plus, should be you who'd have to buy me the drink
don't you think?
Me: 1.you told me you dont need to do this tonight 2. life is supposed to be fun all the time 3. last time we agreed that you weren’t smart 4. i only buy drinks to fun people so prove it and 5. see the point above
Her: 1.Nope, not exactly but hell, i have 5 exams next week, plus two books to read and one to do a 10 pages commentary about.
2. No, where the hell did you get such a silly idea? 3. Nope. You agreed one it alone. 4. That's so boring. You should try to get boring people fun, not just hang out with the fun ones, that's not much of a challenge and 5. I really see no reason i should try to prove anything to you
on it* sorry i'm pretty tired and have been living my whole day in spanish so english is getting complicated
Me: jajajaja jesusssss i only said that i wanted a drink, it’s not that complicated
if you are spontaneous enough you can join me
Her: I'm spontaneous but your offer is not interesting enough to tempt me
but still thanks, i'm flattered that you would let me buy you a drink and if i change my mind I’ll let you know
Me: too bad, i would have been fun but I’m having that drink anyway
have fun reading
Her: well, enjoy your drink then
talk to you later
and don't be too sad
maybe next time
( I leave facebook chat for 15 minutes to see what happens and then comeback)
Her: that was a pretty short drink, you're not such a fun person either, or so it seems
Me: haven’t started yet, just took a quick shower
Her: talk about being spontaneous!
Me: a hot shower and a cigarette are the best way to start the night!
Her: so, who did you find to replace me and join you for your drink?
Me: a real gentleman never tells
Her: That's true. But you're really no gentleman anyway.
Me: are you crazy??????????? how can you say that after you seduced me in that manner?
Her: first, you have no idea of who i could be sitting next to right now -facebook is no place for that kind of conversation. And second, are you kidding?????
Me: no, I’m not
Her: seriously? i did nothing! at all!
Me: that is not how i remember it
Her: you were drunk, so what you can remember isn't really trustworthy
Me: i remember absolutely everything
and i wasn’t that drunk
Her: yeah right
that's why you woke up, fresh as a flower, on the next morning
Me: jajajajaja and you slept next to me
Her: yep. And nice as i am, i finally even covered you with a blanket, trembling as you were -and you Sebastian left you pretty drawings if i can recall...
very gentleman-like indeed
anyway, we better not remember too much about all this because i actually still want to kill you.
Me: then kill me
Her: oh i will if we ever cross paths again
Me: soooo listen very carefully
do you know that juice oasis?
Her: tell me?
what's your point?
Me: i have a half bottle of vodka and i need that juice, so get that juice, come here and you can kill me, but only after i have the drink that i need
Her: first, where the fark is "here"?
second, no way. i'm not drinking and/or killing anyone now, my exam is at 9 tomorrow
third, if i kill you, i want you to be sober and really suffer and
fourth, i don't run anyone’s errands just because they want me to
Plus, who drinks vodka with oasis????
Me: here is (address), and your are not running my errands because I’m giving you vodka for free
Her: forget it, i really can't tonight. I'll kill you the next time. Gotta go, a friend of mine is coming right now and I’d rather he doesn't see this conversation
we'll talk later
Enjoy your vodka without oasis, be a man