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  1. #1
    King Willy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default lowering standards because life isnt going great and lots of rejection

    Im not sure if many of you guys can relate to my little issue but just wanting some input. I think giving you guys some info about me might help you understand, sorry long post.

    I have lived most of my life in a small mining town where the population where the ratio of men to woman was 15-1, as you can imagine a lot of girls who came to live in the town, including average and less then average girls, all had their ego’s inflated and thought they were something special. Another issue was that almost all men in this town were tradesmen or engineers who were close to the 200k a year in wage mark. This did not help me as I was a lowly office worker who only made 65 k a year….

    So as you can imagine my record with woman was pretty poor, I only ever had 2 girl friends in my life. Ironically I was physically and financially at my peak when I was living in the small town, going to the gym for 6 years strait and also was able to run 6 km after a gym session. That was when I was living at home and life was easy.

    However about 2 years ago I decided I wanted to get out of the town I was living in and actually try enjoy the remainder of my youth and also increase my education and change career paths. And of course I wanted to get with as many girls as possible and make up for lost time…
    Unfortunately moving to the city hasn’t been a great experience. In my first year of being in the city and uni I got sick, second year (this year) I couldn’t go out much because lack of money and also the school work has gotten harder. I haven’t gone to the gym for 2 years as I have no money to join the gym and school is getting too hard. At uni I am a “mature aged student” and cant really socialise with many girls as they are all 17 or 18,while I have just turned 28, feels awkard. I did manage to hook up with one chick for like 3 or so months but it became a big head ache.

    So basically im feeling a bit I don’t know worthless right now, the money and no life situation because of uni is kind of getting at me now, I only have about 6 months of school left but im getting really depressed about not having cash or a social life.

    To make matters worse I have “confidence” to go to girls at school or even random chicks in this shops and chat them up and try get phone numbers, but keep getting rejected. I guess me being only 5’6 is also a thing that is holding me back.

    So that’s my situation, feeling a bit bitter and desperate I got this 21 year old chicks number from school and went for a 2 hour lunch with her about 3 weeks ago. It went well but I know this may sound a bit shallow but she wasn’t as attractive as I first saw her, and she kind of doesn’t seem like the girl that wears good clothes or puts make up on. She is from china and has been here for a couple of years, so yeah strait off the boat.
    However she is a good person from what I could tell (yeah I know they all start out like that, we have been there).

    So basically if I was to “grade” her looks I would give her a 4 out of 10, and that’s maybe being generous….. I haven’t called her for about 3 weeks because I got a eye infection, maybe I will look stupid trying to call her now and catching up.

    So basically in a nutshell, im kind of desperate, lowered my standards, which im kind of ok with doing. But basically I just want to f_ck this girl a few times and sort of leave it at that, I don’t want a relationship, but she seems like a nice person and seems like she wants a relationship, and I feel kind of guilty of just using her for sex (if it comes to that).

    Plus I only have been with 2 girls, and it was the whole girl friend thing, never really did the player sort of thing.

    So sorry for the long post, but what do you think I should do?

  2. #2
    dpav02 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: lowering standards because life isnt going great and lots of rejection

    Hey man we've all been there...

    You need to work on yourself before you throw yourself out there. If you aren't happy with yourself it'll show through with your body language.

    I'm no 'expert' but I'd say get your chit together before you go for it.

    And, when you're ready, listen to some podcasts and read the material online. There's so much valuable free material out there it's not worth paying for anything.

  3. #3
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: lowering standards because life isnt going great and lots of rejection

    You're going to have to start over. The slate that defines you is now completely wiped clean.

    Now, start reading material on alpha male and inner game. Learn that stuff. Incorporate it within you and make it part of your personality. After you do so, girls will already find you more attractive.

    Work on your exterior. You don't need to walk around in Armani suits, but pick some clothes that suit you and look good. There's plenty of PUA info available on this as well.

    Then learn how to attract and seduce women. Scout around for some good guru's and choose one with a method that fits you.

    In the meanwhile, try to get together with as many people as you can. Invite old buddies you haven't seen in a while, ask that guy you talk to at times if he wants to hang out, and get yourself in social situations with your current friends. Befriend as many people as you can. This will build up a social circle which girls find attractive and will introduce you to new girls as well.

    Don't lower your standards. If you think the girl is only a four and you're not happy with that, don't go on with her. Respect yourself. And if you do decide to go on with her, be honest and tell her you don't want an exclusive relationship. That way you won't 'really' be her boyfriend AND you get to work on other girls. Don't worry about her being unhappy with that. If she's not getting any, she's probably happier with the two of you just hanging out and having sex than not getting any at all.

    It's a shame your university course will only last six more months, but consider it a chance to practice and build up a social circle before the 'real thing' starts, when you start working again.

    So pick yourself up, clean your slate and start fresh.

  4. #4
    Mr.Bojangles is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: lowering standards because life isnt going great and lots of rejection

    Yeh I think your current head space will be showing through when approaching in one way or another, so maybe leave approaching alone until you’re in a better head space? or up your game so nobody can tell!

    I'd probably focus on the next 6 months if I was you, get school finished and out the way and focus on life after school - you'll have money and the chance to start over somewhere, no point screwing it up now!

    As for the girl, you need to Manage Expectations really otherwise you could be setting yourself up for a headache. You could always meet in the middle, meet her again as friends, befriend her, then befriend her friends - and suddenly a social life has formed!

    And who knows, maybe she has hot friends?


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