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  1. #1
    h2o pete is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Recovering after making your intentions too clear

    I did a bit of an AFC thing by making my intentions too clear with a girl. I thought she was "different" and thought that I could get away with making my intentions clearer than I normally do. I said I wanted to meet her and that I thought she was pretty cute, and that I knew we'd have fun.

    Depending on the girl I guess sometimes that wouldn't be considered too direct - but I made this move because I got over confident in how much she liked me. I thought I'd make it clear I was interested just incase she wasn't sure. I wasn't getting much from her and I thought she was being like that simply because she thought she had no chance with me.

    I asked her if she wanted to meet up and she said she couldn't because she was revising, looking after her dogs while her parents were out of town, and that she wasn't sure if she had the same kind of feelings for me as she thinks I might have about her.

    I needed to recover so sent this:

    "I knew it'd be something to do with maintaining your "geek" status at the top of *nearly* all of your classes haha (inside joke). And I don't know what you were thinking, but I don't even really know you yet! I've never even met you!" (I know her friend who got us talking through some texts and facebook)

    She messaged back with:

    "Now I feel like a bigger twat than I did half an hour ago, go me :')"

    Then I replied:

    "Aww don't take it that I don't think you're nice or anything.. because you do seem like a really nice girl, it's just that I don't really know you well enough! I'm definitely open to meeting that special someone, but they have to actually be special - y'know? I think people jump into things before they even know someone. For me, I have to really get to know a girl and feel like she cares about me before I even think about sleeping with her, or even just being her boyfriend.. because I feel like I'm just giving myself away otherwise."

    Credit to pandora's box for the last bit.

    Her reply:

    "Oh god, of course! It's just like recently I've had someone else similar to you, and they asked are they wasting my time with me blah blah blah, idk I just wanted to say something just in case. I'm so so sorry :'). I actually have a lot of respect for you for that even if it was due to my extreme stupidity :')"

    So what does everyone think? Could I have done something different? I'm hoping to get some advice on things I could have done differently (apart from not making my intentions clear in the first place), maybe some ideas about what I can do next, or maybe what I said will even help someone in a similar situation.

    Anyway, let me know what you think.
    Last edited by h2o pete; 12-29-2011 at 07:44 PM.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Recovering after making your intentions too clear

    **And I don't know what you were thinking, but I don't even really know you yet! I've never even met you!" **

    Seriously ace recovery couldn't have done it better myself

    Obviously your intro could have been re-done, and I may have stepped away from the relationship talk all together after she accepted your recovery

    But what you did worked well, nice work
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval

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