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  1. #1
    Odawg is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default No contact after date on Friday :/

    Hey guys,

    I would be grateful for your thoughts on whether I should give in and contact my date from Friday night- given that she hasn't contacted me yet to say she had a good time.

    Ok so I met this chick at the start of December (she is a HB 9- and a Hollister model). Up until now I have been texting her back and forth sporadically but I finally got her pinned down to a proper date on Friday night. I had demonstrated some very high value in the lead up having picked her up the first night I met her at a club and seen her once since then- my texts were very funny and she was as much into me as she possibly could have been given the circumstances- the issue is I guess that Friday was the first time we were going to meet cold sober and I had no alcohol or phone or Facebook to create a facade. She also was aware of my ex gf who is one of the hottest chicks in my country (Ireland) and also used to work as a Hollister model. My value going onto the date was therefore very high.

    So on Friday tbh I was ****ting myself as its been a while since I had a proper date- I was also anxious that I had built up this amazing image of myself through text messaging and social proof that I had to live up to and I wouldnt be drunk to hide behind ( when I have a few drinks in a club I do tend to become very very confident and i am only situatioanlly confident in real life which I am working on).

    Anyways on the date I was very uncomfortable at the start- my mouth was dry and I generally was ****ting myself for the first half an hour- I think I was even more stifled because she was so bubbly and confident from the start that i felt an even bigger pressure to impress- she had also said that she doesn't fancy unconfident men a night earlier when she was drunk which I was originally able to laugh off because I was tipsy and confident at the time. However on Friday I wasn't myself and it did take me a few drinks to get loosened up.

    In the end we did stay in the bar that I took her too from 9-30-1:30 am so it wasn't all bad. We then went and got a fish and chip and I got her a taxi home. She had asked me what I though of her to which I told her she was very nice and a bit of a legend.

    Basically the date went ok- but I felt unconfident throughout and stifled as she was so confident and I just couldn't settle properly. We did kiss at the end off the night for a couple of seconds but I haven't heard from her since. My plan was and always is for a girl to text me after the date to say thank you etc and then I respond. This hasn't happened yet and I am very confused. Logic would say that she obviously didn't text me because she didn't like me and I didn't live up to my reputation, but I am also of the opinion that she is waiting for me to text her and tell her I had a good time. Is this the possible or will a girl ALWAYAS text after a date first if she had a good time???

    She was genuinely once of the nicest girls I have ever met ( she is a blood doner, a medicine student, a volunteer worker and she tried to make me feel a little bit more comfortable when I told her at the start that I was uncharasstically nervous which I know isn't a particularly good thing to say).

    Any thoughts on this once guys? I don't intend on texting her and will wait it out but I am very shocked she hasn't even text me out of manners to say thank you which I would have expected considering the date did end in a kiss and she said she had a good time and more importantly her very good character would have led me to believe she had this much manners). Could it be that she is waiting for the boy to text her saying he had a good time? Or is it more likely that she just said she had a good time and actually didn't and she simply was a tad disappointed that I wasn't as funny or charismatic that she had lead to believe-

    I was speaking to my ex gf and she thinks that it is very rude of me not to text her and that she is probably waiting on me to text her first- my housemate thinks the same. However I would have imagined that if she wanted me she woul have texted me.
    All thoughts and comments welcomed!!!????

  2. #2
    uh5Ff7vS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: No contact after date on Friday :/

    She will remember the end more than the beginning. Both of these happened near the end: 1) She asked what you thought of her (asking for your approval.) 2) The date ended with a (hopefully non-awkward) kiss.

    Unless she gives you a clear indicator to the contrary, you must always assume that she likes you. This means that if you decide that you like her (remember, the choice is YOURS--that's the whole confidence thing she was talking about), you call her...much sooner than a week later. Her not calling you first is, unfortunately, not a clear indicator. I know, I wish it were that easy.

    At this point, you need to imply that everything went well while somehow avoiding talking about not talking. You can do this by calling her (don't text) and asking her out again for tonight. "Since we had such a great time last week and I wanted to get to know you better, I've arranged for insert-amazing-date-idea-here. Pick you up at 7?" And then be quiet: don't say a word, let those wheels turn.

    I don't normally condone lying, but since you screwed up so bad, you have little choice. If her answer (to your date) is something like "why didn't you call me sooner?" You reply, "You didn't get my text? I said I had a great time and would call you this weekend."

    If you think her excuse for not going is truthful, continue to talk to her for a while before you hang up. That way another day you can ask again, but hopefully one with more notice than one day. After that though, I'd just forget about her. Sadly, it isn't because she doesn't like you; rather, it is because she now thinks you didn't like her enough and it is really hard to come back from that.


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