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  1. #1
    rodo123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question A shy guy needs to find a shy girl.

    Hey guys, Im very attractive but I'm also very shy and quiet. I ready for a girlfriend but I feel that my only chance is to find a cute shy girl. I can't see myself with a loud outgoing girl. I need help on approaching a girl, particularly in class. Theres a girl in my math class who I would like to approach. She never talks to any of the people who sit around her so Im thinking that she is shy. She is also very cute. So basically, how do I approach? And what are other possible signs that tell me she could be shy? (body language, eye contact, etc)

  2. #2
    don pimpin sheezy's Avatar
    don pimpin sheezy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: A shy guy needs to find a shy girl.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodo123 View Post
    Hey guys, Im very attractive but I'm also very shy and quiet. I ready for a girlfriend but I feel that my only chance is to find a cute shy girl. I can't see myself with a loud outgoing girl. I need help on approaching a girl, particularly in class. Theres a girl in my math class who I would like to approach. She never talks to any of the people who sit around her so Im thinking that she is shy. She is also very cute. So basically, how do I approach? And what are other possible signs that tell me she could be shy? (body language, eye contact, etc)
    There's a lot of girls that are in-between being shy and loud and outgoing. I wouldn't try to pre-screen chicks from afar trying to tell whether they're shy or not. I'd just approach them and see if you have chemistry or not. Have you ever dated a shy girl, or a loud extrovert before, or are you just making assumptions about what you think would work for you?

  3. #3
    autechre is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A shy guy needs to find a shy girl.

    Personally, as someone who is very shy I thought I would like a shy girl at first too. I guess I figured our introverted personalities would mesh well and that sort of thing. Anyway, my first gf was pretty outgoing and I found I liked the fact that she would help "pull me out of my shell" , even though I was still quiet in a lot of social situations. I started thinking that maybe I do prefer a more extroverted, outgoing girl to counterbalance my shyness.

    My last gf was more on the shy side, and it didn't end up working out because it was difficult to get her to open up among other things. Granted, I've slowly become more of a social person. And she was holding me back with that in some ways. I don't think an outgoing party girl would usually want a shy guy. I don't think they want to be tasked with "pulling a shy guy out of his shell." They want a guy to lead, and finding some guy who's introverted and shy means the girl will have to lead (which is usually what happened with that first gf).

    I mean I suppose it depends on what you want. I wouldn't limit myself to one kind of girl on that introversion/extroversion spectrum. It doesn't sound like you want to become someone more outgoing. Is the concern that the loud, outgoing girls could be more overwhelming? Their energy is hard to manage? Ask yourself: Why do shy girls appeal to you? Is it the challenge/mystery that it's a little tougher to quite figure out who they are and what they're about? The idea that maybe your energies match better and so getting involved with her is less than intimidating than an outgoing girl? But sometimes none of that even matters. It might just come down to chemistry. Some girls will be shy and closed but open up really easily with a particular guy. Some outgoing girls may be wild and crazy but like a particular guy so much that they "adjust" their energy to him and can make him feel comfortable. So there's a lot of factors going on here. I wouldn't use shyness as a major criterion in my search for a girl. As a shy guy, I was amazed at how much I've learned from being with more outgoing women. Part of this is just a journey of self-discovery.

  4. #4
    chet25's Avatar
    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A shy guy needs to find a shy girl.

    Don't put that limiting factor on a girl you'll date. There are so many other factors that should play a role into. Like finding a girl who has value based on the things you value in life and your interest.

    But question becomes what defines you as attractive in your mind? Looks only matter so much to a woman, being shy and quite is not normally an attractive quality. Women find being masculine and being able to make them feel like a woman as being highly attractive....shy and quite as I once was is not how you do this. Breaking out of that shell is relatively not hard with action and feeling you deserve to be a talkative person.


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