Day Game. Blanked out.

gunsnglory · 10-25-2009, 12:06 AM

I am pretty sure you have been thrown up against the fake boyfriend. If the girl really showed the attraction that you previously mentioned, she either doesn't have a boyfriend, or she is looking to trade up. You need to not show any signs that you were put off by the 'boyfriend'. Play normal game. If she brings up the boyfriend again, I suggest Adonis's method of dealing with it. Look up the strawman method, on the forum here. I posted about it before, and I think other's probably have to. Don't fall for the mythical boyfriend. The worst thing that can happen is that she totally blows you off. I think she was probably a little put off by the previous decoy blow off and now she is testing your meddle to see what type of guy you really are. If she starts to really blow you off, neg her a little or, turn away and talk to someone else. You most likely showed too much interest earlier, at one point. So you need to counter that by being a little dismissive when she starts to be defensive. She needs to be chasing you.

10-25-2009, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunsnglory

I am pretty sure you have been thrown up against the fake boyfriend. If the girl really showed the attraction that you previously mentioned, she either doesn't have a boyfriend, or she is looking to trade up. You need to not show any signs that you were put off by the 'boyfriend'. Play normal game. If she brings up the boyfriend again, I suggest Adonis's method of dealing with it. Look up the strawman method, on the forum here. I posted about it before, and I think other's probably have to. Don't fall for the mythical boyfriend. The worst thing that can happen is that she totally blows you off. I think she was probably a little put off by the previous decoy blow off and now she is testing your meddle to see what type of guy you really are. If she starts to really blow you off, neg her a little or, turn away and talk to someone else. You most likely showed too much interest earlier, at one point. So you need to counter that by being a little dismissive when she starts to be defensive. She needs to be chasing you.

thanks for the input. I was totally thrown off when she did that to me (I had no clue what was going on). It seems that girls have a lot more patience and tolerance than I had expected. Since I've been careful in how much emotion I've invested in her, rebuilding with decoy and isolating her for a while won't be an issue.

Thanks for restoring my confidence. I'm sure I'm good enough for her.

Just out of curriousity, when I pulled the move on decoy, was she put off by how I was able to ditch her like that or was it soley giving her too much attention?

Bill Preston · 10-25-2009, 11:24 AM

You need to get her to go/do something fun with you. Invite her and her friends to meet up with you and your friends to tailgate before a football game. Or if you have something fun planned (plan something) and invite her to and her friends to join you (and your friends). Basically you need to show her the fun you and your friends are having and invite her to come along. Of course it needs to be without her boyfriend... but just having conversation with her is not going to escalate anything. Need to get her out and have fun - do you ever see her at parties or other places where it is more 'fun', not just seminars or class.

10-25-2009, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill

You need to get her to go/do something fun with you. Invite her and her friends to meet up with you and your friends to tailgate before a football game. Or if you have something fun planned (plan something) and invite her to and her friends to join you (and your friends). Basically you need to show her the fun you and your friends are having and invite her to come along. Of course it needs to be without her boyfriend... but just having conversation with her is not going to escalate anything. Need to get her out and have fun - do you ever see her at parties or other places where it is more 'fun', not just seminars or class.

If I invite her friends and my friends wouldn't it be natural for her to invite her bf along? (I'm just conjecturing here). How am I supposed to filter him out? Also, the tricky part to this is that my friends are Asian and they have this fear of people not within their culture. I can try it but considering there's 1) culture gap 2) age gap this becomes something not so easy to achieve. Even though this may not be a problem on her end.

Another thing I'm stressed over is how I don't have a car that I can drive around with. It's impossible to take her to fun places where I live without a car. The traveling time is just not within reasonable limits.

gunsnglory · 10-25-2009, 06:49 PM

Couple of things:

First of all, if you can invite her, when she is with some of her girlfriends, it is naturally understood that you are inviting the people you see, and not their boyfriends/other friends.

Also, if she really does like you, which once again, I am pretty sure she does, look at it from her point of view. Right now, she doesn't know if she can trust you, but she really wants to. If you can mitigate the trust issues by inviting her to a group hang out (she doesn't have to worry about you moving too fast on her), she would love to hang out with you. If she really is interested, she likely isn't going to bring a boyfriend, because then there isn't a chance for anything to happen. Women are a little funny that way. They want things to happen, but they don't want them to happen too fast, so they artificially create barriers if they feel uncomfortable with how things are happening. You want to mitigate her discomfort or fear of discomfort.

Bill is right. I got a little caught up in the more pressing issues, but ultimately you need to disable the timebomb and move things forward. Which gets you back to the getting her out thing. Since she is obviously feeling uncomfortable at this point, you are going to have more luck getting her out with friends.

Picking up women is a bit like going down a slide. Once you start, you have to keep moving things in the right direction, otherwise you will lose them.

10-25-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunsnglory

Couple of things:

First of all, if you can invite her, when she is with some of her girlfriends, it is naturally understood that you are inviting the people you see, and not their boyfriends/other friends.

Also, if she really does like you, which once again, I am pretty sure she does, look at it from her point of view. Right now, she doesn't know if she can trust you, but she really wants to. If you can mitigate the trust issues by inviting her to a group hang out (she doesn't have to worry about you moving too fast on her), she would love to hang out with you. If she really is interested, she likely isn't going to bring a boyfriend, because then there isn't a chance for anything to happen. Women are a little funny that way. They want things to happen, but they don't want them to happen too fast, so they artificially create barriers if they feel uncomfortable with how things are happening. You want to mitigate her discomfort or fear of discomfort.

Bill is right. I got a little caught up in the more pressing issues, but ultimately you need to disable the timebomb and move things forward. Which gets you back to the getting her out thing. Since she is obviously feeling uncomfortable at this point, you are going to have more luck getting her out with friends.

Picking up women is a bit like going down a slide. Once you start, you have to keep moving things in the right direction, otherwise you will lose them.

Well, she just re-admitted to university after working in the real world for a few years so her friends won't be people that I know. I'm guessing my only resort is to use the friends that I've built up with her in the language class.

In this case, I'll try to pull my group into a "lunch hang out" since Girl A talked about how she knows where all the good Japanese restaurants are. However, I'm worried because they kinda know that I'm interested in her after the decoy drop event. I don't know if the people will cooperate with me. I'll try to meet some new people at the same time to build rapport with them and get them to come out as well.

Bill Preston · 10-25-2009, 11:23 PM

All of this talk about you being asian is a limiting belief. For a while my #1 wing was an asian guy in NYC (what up GEO!) and he was amazing with women of all races. Stop worrying about race man...

10-26-2009, 02:14 PM

Update on Girl A:

Today's lecture day so as usual, I would sit next to her. She seemed to appear a little bit frightened (I'm guessing, she thinks I'm going to start speed racing my way into her) so I pretended to be the normal friendly guy. I didn't say much to her although she tried to start a few brief conversations with me. During class, I constantly sat closer to the opposing side to her (leaning away) and she seemed nervous (by observation of leg crossing and nervous ticks). At the end of class, she offered to help me grab some brochures that were placed at the front of the classroom. I then thanked her and told her I need to rush for my next class and left.

Plan for tomorrow:
Go back to sitting with Decoy (increase conversation with her to show her I'm not mr.jerkus ditching her) and trying to build relations with other people (putting minimum focus on Girl A).

As usual, feel free to throw in ideas/suggestions/comments when reading my daily updates.

gunsnglory · 10-27-2009, 12:16 AM

Sounds like you have done a good job of reassuring her that you aren't needy. It seems that she is now trying to prove herself to you again.

It is critical that you try to get her out, in a fun environment where you can build attraction, very soon, or she will think that you no longer are interested in you, then she will "lock" you out. One of the crazy paradoxes about women, is that if you almost close the deal, but don't, you are in a much worse position than if you don't make a move at all, or you blow your approach.

Don't hit on her directly in class, but be friendly, and flirtatious. I would try to slip in a couple of lightly sexually suggestive comments, but keep them light and not directly aimed at her. Most important GET HER OUT!

10-27-2009, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunsnglory

Sounds like you have done a good job of reassuring her that you aren't needy. It seems that she is now trying to prove herself to you again.

It is critical that you try to get her out, in a fun environment where you can build attraction, very soon, or she will think that you no longer are interested in you, then she will "lock" you out. One of the crazy paradoxes about women, is that if you almost close the deal, but don't, you are in a much worse position than if you don't make a move at all, or you blow your approach.

Don't hit on her directly in class, but be friendly, and flirtatious. I would try to slip in a couple of lightly sexually suggestive comments, but keep them light and not directly aimed at her. Most important GET HER OUT!

Gotcha. I'm approaching a clipping point here. I mean, I've never gone this far with a girl before. It's the part where I start to get a little nervous. December is a little far off so to get her out on an event with "some friends" when the ones we have in common are the few that started with us during the beginning of our school year, really is going to put me in a tight spot. I've asked around my co-workers to get advice on how I can find "fun" activities to get together with. I'm going to be flipping through a few webpages to see what events my city has to offer and I might slap on a lunch or something to make things light. A big problem is most of the people are getting busier this time of the year (midterms/exams are around mid November to around Christmas). Getting others to come along will be hard!

any suggestions on how I can "program" my classmates to go? If I've got 2 relatively trusted friends (1 guy 1 girl) that she doesn't know at all, would it be okay to get them out come with girl A and I? If so, should I give them a heads up on what's happening or is this top secret?

I've spoken to one of my co-workers and he said that my response on the text-msg part was poor because I've responded to her with a convo-stopper. Do you guys think it's true? Was "lol.. see you this Saturday" sufficient or should I've left room for a text convo?

Day Game. Blanked out.

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