Epic Fail w/ a HB 10 "not ready to date" & LJBF Situation - Tell me what you think!

Met this hb. I don't use 10 lightly. This girl is farking gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. By far the most attractive girl that's ever crossed my PUA path in the past 5 years. She is basically the twin of Alessandra Ambrosio, google the name if you don't know who that is.


Monday: I've seen this girl workout at my gym for 4-6 months; she generally has a friend with her which makes things harder for gym game. Anyway, one day I find myself, by complete chance, working out next to her on a light-intensity machine. She was bored. There's no way I'm gonna give up this opportunity.

I open her completely indirectly and it was flawless. It wasn't canned, it was completely situational, rooted, and relevant. It was GENUINE. There were MANY IOIs from her. I negged her a bunch; despite this girl being a 10, my game was smooth, natural, and seemingly successful.

Before I know it, maybe 10 minutes into the convo, she's telling me sh1t like "Wow... you seriously have the coolest life ever.. How do you get away with that?" and "I wish I could travel as much as you do but I don't have nearly as much time and money with my full time job" and just general interest/amazement at my energetic, diverse, FUN life.

Again, everything I told her and was legit. I was being myself and not caving into her beauty. I made her qualify herself and I wasn't just clamming away at how peachy everything was. I was lightly kinoing her as much as appropriate while on the machine.

I told her straight up something like "I bet you get this all the time - random guys talking to you huh" to clear out any possibility of her thinking this is some staged pickup (I've personally seen her get hit on by at *least* 10 different guys - I didn't tell her that) It was somewhat of a compliment, but of course I wasn't going to directly compliment her just yet. She laughed and told me how guys talk to her all the time and how she just pretends she's interested, and then sh1t-tested me to see if that's what I was doing. I played it off well and called her out on it. Just as I'd planned, perfect!

Anywho, with even more IOIs, negging, teasing, and playful banter, she shows much interest in a day 2 and she puts her number in my phone. I tell her I'm unavailable this and that day, but I could do Wednesday. She agrees and reinforces how "boring" she is (has nothing planned ever) and that wednesday would be great.

Tues: I call to confirm the day 2 and she answers right away - More playful banter and fun on the phone. 5-6 min phone call. I arrange for her to drop her car at my place, and then to go grab some food at a totally casual local restaurant. She is happy to do so, and there were even more IOIs on the phone as she was seemingly willing to do whatever to make the day 2 happen (she was going to skip working out so that we could go earlier.. and I told her no I workout every day at that time and I thought you did too? etc.)

Weds: She texts me 3-4 hrs before the "date" and says "hey I'm actually coming from home instead of work, can I just meet you at the restaurant at __:___, does that work for you?" I was a bit alarmed, since that had totally thrown off the plan of getting her at my place for a few mins before/after the day2. It wasn't really a legit excuse, since she still could have come to my place first prior to us travelling together to the restaurant. I kept thinking buyers remorse in my head, but I couldn't figure out why. I hadn't been needy.. I made her fit in my busy schedule, and I didn't acknowledge/slave to her looks whatsoever. Plus she showed all those IOIs. I shrugged it off and told her that it's cool (and teased her a bit for it). I'd rather her be comfortable.

We both arrive one after another, and she jumps to hug me right when I get in the door (I had thought about whether or not she'd be weird with a hug.. but she ran up and hugged me so fast that I didn't even get a chance to act) - I respond with a side/hug thing and say Hi, etc. We sit down almost immediately and chat away about our days, random sh1t. All sorts of great DHVs and more of making her qualify. Never an awkward moment or any strange convos came up. I framed it sexually as much as I could, which was difficult with us sitting across from each other at a dinner table. I was disagreeing/conversing with her on varying opinions and telling her about all the great sh1t I'm up to. Seemingly went awesome. Btw, we agreed to split the bill, with me "offering" to pay if she wanted to hit it up next time, and she declined to do that - so we split it.

After the restaurant, I took her outside and took her hand (she thought I was trying to shake her hand which was hilarious - so I gave her crap for that), I held her hand and walked her to her car for all of 15 seconds. She hugs me and says thanks and that she had a great time, the restaurant was so good and I'm glad we went, etc. I kiss her on the cheek (there was definitely not enough of a connection yet to make out/go for a direct kiss) and unleash 1 single compliment of "you're super cute" and she kinda hides behind her hair and says thanks all cute-style. She mentions something along the lines of "maybe I'll see you this weekend" and I tell her I'm busy friday but possibly available saturday, and to let me know. She tells me to text/call her.

Fri: To set something up over the weekend, involving her actually seeing my place and hanging out, I shoot her a text asking if her real life guitar skills are any good in guitar hero, and she responds with something like "Don't know from experience." Then, I text again offering a guitar hero duel the next day (Saturday). It was a great plan I'd thought.. to get her over, something fun and kinoesque to do with each other and to be playful, nothing serious, nothing commital, and most importantly totally informal and NOT "datish" ('formal dates' are the most cliche thing ever and I avoid them at all cost).

She responds... saying: "Unfortunately, I'm not as ready to date as I thought, but i'd be ok with being friends."

LOL

I'm thinking what the fark is this? Total left field comment. I try and look back at wtf happened, and the only thing I can almost see is possibly at dinner where she almost had this shield up - absolutely not a Bitch Shield but a "recently hurt shield."

I respond after some thought with 1 concise text, mentioning that I don't formally "date" in the first place, how it's cliche, and ending the text with "I'll seeya around friend " - in an attempt to mock the whole "friendship" idea. As expected, she doesn't respond back.


So, I've been trying to decipher where I farked this one up. Judging from my gut, I think she is legitimately out of a recent relationship (or in between one, etc.) This has only happened to me one other time in 5 years of pua and the other time it was legit too - some girl figuring out her guy situation. But, on the other hand, I'm a huge believer in the fact that "No girl is a bitch or 'un-game-able,' and that it's never 'her fault.'"

I won't be communicating with her for 3-4 weeks, going to see if a Freeze Out works. Even then she isn't really worth my time since there was really nothing invested. other than her being extremely attractive, she didn't offer much to the table - so that is not special at all; but trying something in a few weeks won't hurt anybody. I'm sure I will see her at the gym many times before then, so I'll just have to ignore her or smile and keep walking. (Suggestions?)

I'd truly appreciate any feedback or ideas, or any similar happenings. Thanks in advance.

Rocket,

I like your style. It sounds as if everything you did as in terms of your game was pretty tight, unless you are totally delusional hahaha jk.

I just had a similar experience with a girl that showed extreme interest, then dipped out. I had the text game on lock with a great sense of humor, flow, and it felt as if the vibe was there. We planned to make a trip to a art museum and she was super happy go lucky and was like, "I'll cancel my appointment for you!"

Then I heard the sound of the downhill excuse express. She first starts off by saying she is busy with school, so I just play it cool, play it tight. Then when texting her, she said she meets this guy and that they spent all day together. I think this could of been fabricated because she told me before that she was new to my city and didn't know anybody. My final cycle of texts end with that she is interested in the other guy, LJBF I take it in stride because now I am worrying about my other dates, and a day later she defriends me from FB end of story.

That is funny that you mentioned she had a shield, not a Bitch Shield per sae but a "I have been hurt shield." This girl I met was in the same boat, they are probably paddling together. The girl said she just got out of a 7 year relationship with her boyfriend who she moved from L.A. to Chicago with. When she told me this red flags were up so this happening wasn't a surprise.

So in your case the questions you need to get at are:

Was she in a prior relationship, and if so what were the implications?
Was she looking for a rebound or just unstable?
Was the flakiness due to a hole in your game or was it genuinely her chick logic kicking in?
Was she afraid of commitment of even hanging out with a guy like yourself because of the implications of the past?

Maybe it was the fact that you were too hot to handle for her. There are some girls who have it in the look department but when it comes to social/romantic/at risk of having sex situations that's when their fight or flight kicks in and poof they are gone faster than rubbers at Planned Parenthood.

Dude, I wouldn't doubt your game on this, it sounds like you did a pretty good job of initially attracting her in the day game and that's hard to do man. Just take a silver lining, internalize it and move on. You can try a freezeout, but don't invest anything. You probably want someone that is more grounded than that, but who knows. Everything about the game is subjective except for one objective thing about it that you know and all other aspiring PUA's know (or should know) It's not a big deal. Who knows maybe she has a twin

Best of Luck!

My guess is that you were to try hard. dhv to much and neg to much. You sound like your trying to fit the game into an analytical and linier process when its not. You need to take a step back from all the theory and relax a bit. Its easy to overthink, but when you slow it down and just relax its comes much more natural. Secondly, stop making sex your goal for the date. If that’s what your intentions are then its going to be hard to make it happen. Obviously she saw this and avoided your place, and then the no go vibe for a kiss. Then she backed it up with a LBJF. This is a situation when you didn’t build enough Comfort with her and in return came across as to much of a player. Same solution, RELAX! This stuff is not that hard, and the longer I do it I realize that the most success I have is when I just go out and try to have a good time and not have a goal of meeting women, or opening sets, or getting laid. If you get a next time with her turn the game off, and just have fun. Don’t think about what your gonna do to Get Her Back to your place. If you are truly a confident and fun guy she will want to be there, and the opportunity will present itself.

Hope this helps, sorry for the tough love.

I agree with tcomea2, relaxing, being yourself is very important. Its easy to make little changes in your personality (improving certain areas) and it is quite beneficial, but don't change your whole personality over routines/negging/all these PICKUP things. I think that if I tried it would sorta be like hiding behind a mask. And don't most guys get into pickup to get women into their bed? When you decide you want a long-term relationship, wont this gaming sort of backfire on you when you try to be yourself, when this pickup stuff doesn't apply? I dunno, just going on a early morning rant .

I think alot of pickup, if not most, is inner game. If you are truly confident, you like yourself for who you are, and are a genuinely funny/fun/charming guy, you will get women. Being confident changes ALL the rules and you naturally will choose the path of the interactions with women, and it will happen smoother, and you wont be thinking about it!

But, I do have to admit, learning a little about sticking points in your game, does help, so don't cancel your account .

yo man, nothin you did is wrong. i've been with around 3-4 girls like that.. they seem all down, but when you actually set the point of "we are not friends, we are going more than that" they suddenly back off.. and i never got that and never think i will.

your best bet would be to tell her what you feel, see her respond.
if its negative, say "well, if not being with you meaning not having you around, then friends is fine." when you say that, 2 things can happen, either she thinks its super cute and fall for you, or she will say okay and you stay friends.

better have a HB10 as a friend, then nothing at all.. if you do end up friends which i hope you can work around, make sure to start being open with her about all the things you do.. make her trust you the most. then when time is right, you could try get out of friend zone but thats hard.