Please read. My first date and it ended in my first make out! & my pickup journey...

(Skip to The Date, further down if you want to cut the "journey" crap)

I met a smoking Isreali chick a while back, to be exact, last semester. She is skinnier but I would say shes an 8 or 9. I was introduced to her by a guy in my class. When I met her, and for a few times after that, I was really shy. I didnt really talk to her much and tried to focus more on my textbooks than her! *facepalms* Now this spring semester rolled around and over winter break we didnt talk at ALL. I saw her in the library hall my first day back and waved and stopped and said hello, but nothing really progressed. I felt shy again! So, I finally was fed up! I decided I would take advantage of what was around me, and I started setting up study groups, talking to randoms in my class, and the girls I did know, I just talked until I was blue in the face! I decided in order to get girls I had to at least be able to strike conversation!

A few weeks later, I was talking to a wide spectrum of ages, races, colors, smells, what have you! Now, I wasn't even worried if they were single, married, lesbian, nothing mattered, the only thing I cared about was how to make women really like my company! So I passed by that Israeli chick again, and this time, I decided we were going to have some fun! So right off the bat I started teasing her about loads of different things, and read some horoscopes, played a few people-watching games, etc. I didn't just want HER to have fun, that's not whats important, "I" wanted to have fun!

A few times of meeting up with her and teasing and playing and being nice, I made a real quality friend. A big mistake now that I understand all this. I should have touched her, got closer, got more into the conversations, got more intimate, more sexual! Wow, visiting the friend zone once again I see. But last week, she was talking to me and said she has this friend she wants me to meet, that she has a similar personality, and is very pretty. I was on that offer like chicken on rice, or so I thought...

When I actually met this girl, I was expecting less for some reason and my shyguy self stuck this girl on a pedestal immediately. Another textbook MISTAKE. She was also hanging with this guy that basically "gets ALL girls." I bet he could say he needs a quicky, and those girls would raise their hands high, screaming "ooh, pick me!" Lol, maybe not that far, but you get the point.

I didn't really say anything other than "hi, my names Tyrel" and made some joke about my name being some black name lol. Asked what classes she was taking and then bid farewell, and took off!

Well, a few days ago, she sent me a request on facebook to be her friend, and of course I accepted. We talked for a bit, and then I asked if she would like to get coffee the next week. I wasnt expecting for her to say yes, but she did. So then I asked for her number and told her "no dont get excited, im no trying to pick you up." Next day at my job, she initiates a texting conversation and that led to some great teasing, and we set up a day for the date, not even a time. I didnt rush it, wanted to make it seem like this date wasnt super important to me. The next day she texts me again asking what time we should set it up and we do. Finally the day before the "date" and she texts saying she cant make it, I was like "great, another Flake." (didnt actually say that, lol). But she had a legit excuse, babysitting. So we set it up for the next night. She texted this morning confirming we were still on and I was like "woot!"

Well, I would liked to have felt that way. I actually felt like crap, had major butterflies, heck, they werent butterflies, they were freakin birds in there, lol! I desperately scrambled all day long looking for ways on how a first date should go, how to attract, how to kino, how to kiss close correctly, etc. Then i came across something saying that overthinking and overstudying was what I wanted to avoid, so I held the flush lever down on my brain and washed what I just read right out! Then I looked at a few resources, studied a while, getting a "plan of action" that would have made a 1.5 hour date ending with a kiss.

What actually happened on this date today, completely changed my whole outlook on dating, kino, attraction, ALL that garbage! And I will explain how...Oh, and we planned to meet at this cozy little outdoor mall for coffee btw.


*****THE DATE*****- 15 minutes before our expected meetup, I sent her a text telling her NOT to buy anything if she arrived before me. She was cool with that. So I showed up, all in my fresh new outfit, hairstyle, new cologne, and felt great, large and in charge! Well, that and a bunch of nervousness and anxiety suffocating it all. I actually arrived there early and I was like whatevs...She walked in 10 seconds later, and I decided to skip like 5 steps in the "DiCarlo Ladder" and gave her a hug. (Take in mind we did text and had a good time with that but our last real in person encounter was pretty awkward, but I didnt hesitate anyway.) This one move probably helped the whole date now that I think about it, it could have been a weird wave or awkward handshake, but how "ugh" are those? Then, she asked what we should get, and I said "lets play thumb war and whoever loses buys the drinks." She was sort of hesitant but it ended up being fun (I used my other hand and pushed down her thumb, that got a laugh!). I was still feeling a little awkward, but we finally ordered drinks, and then went and sat outside by the fire.

We talked for a while, I pretty much recited some funny stories I told alot of other girls, and tried to make her laugh, and some worked some didnt really. She asked where I worked and I said I couldnt tell her she would stalk me, lol, and teased her about that. I think she was sort of testing me because I would say these types of things and she would get defensive, probably to see if I changed my attitude, which I didnt, I stuck to my guns! After a while, I said lets walk around! At this point I was getting more comfortable, so I brang up a game, "F,Marry,Kill." This proved to be quite interesting and I teased her about her decisions alot. I chose a little boy and she said marry, and I brang that up a few times later on and teased her about that. During this game though, is when I first started KINO! Yeah I know it took me about 30 minutes, but granted, I finally started lol, when usually with other girls, I was too shy to do so.

Now we headed back to the fireplace and started talking more. I was still at very low levels of KINO, but I did a few things like touched her hair, teased her about it, took her hand, and looked at her ring, playfully tapped her arm a few times when we made a joke, or teased her. One thing that really helped was when told her she was like a little kid, not thinking about consequences and being free, and I went back to this alot. Basically, I just slowly worked my way up the ladders of KINO, while being fun and relaxed. Eventually, we got up again and I told her to take my arm This was another thing that helped push the touching much further. Before long, we got closer, and eventually held hands, then had our hands around each others waists. At one point she accidentally put her hand on my butt, which I bugged her about, and was like. "hell yeah girl just go to town with it!" haha that was funny We finally sat down again and started talking slower , but I still kept the teasing talk going. Now that I realize it, I probably missed a few opportunities to kiss her, but I didnt want to blow it and actually, that could have ruined my chances for a kiss. But luckily, as we slowly trudged to her car, we got closer, and the kiss moment came. I started looking at her much longer and we sort of just stopped everything, and then we hugged, and I sort of pushed the hair back behind her ear and held the back of her head and then all of a sudden, BOOM we were making out, tongues and all

She told me how much fun she had and then we said good night. She drove off as I was walking to my car and did a little fist pump pat on the back, lol. I forgot to mention that throughout the date she was hinting that we would date again...She texted later saying how much she enjoyed the date and hopefully we could do it again sometime.

Now, I know a few of you guys are going to be laughing at how I thought a make out was so awesome. But keep in mind I had never made out with a girl before and this was technically my first date of my life.

Here are a few questions I have:

1- With that Isreali chick, what is the best way to get her out of the friend zone? KINO is much more comfortable to me now so that could help, I think.

2- How should I talk to this girl after this date? I am thinking the same way, but since we made out, wont their be more sexual thoughts going on in her head? Will it be easier to attempt a lay from her now?

3- Will attempting to kiss her again be easier? And will I be able to do it at other times rather than the end of a date?

4- Will I be able to jump into KINO faster? Instead of starting from the bottom and working my way up, cant I start it off with a hug and then arm in arm, or even start with a little kiss?

If youve made it this far, I thank you! You have some patience! Give yourself a pat on the back. I hope that wasn't too brutal of a read. And most importantly, I HOPE this helps some of the guys just starting out, because technically I am still just beginning, but I wanted to share what worked for me. But the biggest thing you got to remember, is that learning this stuff online, and actually doing it in reality, is a HUGE difference. You can plan all you want, but there will be silences, moments where she tests your confidence, and times where your tease didn't come off the right way, just stick to your guns! If she says your weird, say she is, dont get all defensive! Just eat, breathe and sleep FUN, and you will be alright!

Thanks again!

-Tyrel Johnson (and dont ask what everyone asks, I am probably one of the whitest dudes on the block, lol)

PS- I want to give major props to Bobby Rio. He has been a huge help, motivator, and guide for me. He has reffered me to some great resources, including Vin DiCarlo's "Ladder od Escalation" which, I think, made the difference in this date and got me to the kiss close. So thank you Vin, and THANK YOU Bobby! Oh check out his Social Traning Lab, its GOLD! No, im not getting paid to say this

1- if the israeli chick is the one who set you up with this other girl, best to let that play out first before you fo after her Israeli friend. Banging a chicks friend and having her be happy about it isn't impassible, but it's waaaay to advanced for where you're at right now (hell, it's too advanced for me half the time)

2- you should talk to her the way you have been. And since you got pretty close with her, best not to wait that 3 days bullsh1t. Txt her the day after the date. Later, you won't do that until after you've slept with a girl, but to these young inexperienced girls making out is practically as big a deal as sex.

3- yes. And yes. Practice makes perfect.

4- you mean with this girl? Or in general? Yes, with this girl, you can Kino right away now that you've established that with her already. With another girl I wouldn't get ahead of yourself. You've got a system that worked, tweak it rather than abandoning it altogether.

Oh, and brief posts are a lot more likely to be answered than posting a novel. All the narrative should be labeled a field report.

True, I will keep that in mind for my next posts. Thanks for the feedback man, I appreciate it. I understand about KINOing other girls. Its all about building that physical Comfort with each other and I can see only bad things happening from jumping right into it with some random chick, lol.

I got threethings from your article. You are a highly attractive male naturally. you areee very sensitive to the needs and emotions of others. you have maaaaad inner game. and you have a lot of at least one or all of these three things.low self-esteem, shyness, or extreme caution.

what leads me to believe this you may ask? 1) As soon as you choose to be friendly. Wooooo. you have friends. and getting along with everyone the first time you try. 2) you also naturally want to kino to start the next date. (guess what thats the best way to start a second date and you felt it out naturally) 3) should i kino to break the friend barrier with the isreali girl? you naturally know the best way to get start getting past friend barrier .KINO.(not the p*ssy and asshole way getting past friend barrier, for people scared to face rejection, who end their friendship-which hurts the girls feelings=asshole- all because they are afraid of rejection and will only attempt to break friend barrier once they know they have survived not being friends with her and know they can live without her) hmmm if thats not talent i dont know what is. clearly you have high social talent (sensitivity to the needs and emotions of others.aka mad inner game. ) it would probably suprise you to know that most people CANT do any of the three things i just listed. and it would probably suprise you because you probably undervalue your positive qualities, assuming everyone has them, and overvalue your negative ones, assuming everyone has what u lack naturally, leading to low self esteem. -generally the reason a guy with mad talent at getting with girls like you. is not. getting with girls.-[until now. gj bro. nice read btw].

Oh right. your probably wondering why i say your highly attractive. well lets see. The girl was hanging out with a douetschebag who gets lots of girls, prob a good looking guy like you. (clearly she values looks over personality and therefore went after you because of your good looks) -"but it wasnt my looks.i have great game. ive worked so hard on improving myself and i hooked up with her!" im gonna tell you right now. 1st off. she has no idea youve improved yourself. when you met her you barely talked. she friend requested you cuz she thinks your hot,-no her friend the isreali said nice things about me thats why she friended me!. no she met u because of the isreali. she friended you because she thinks your insanely attractive.-.also on top of that yes you have natural talent with gaming girls but ur not a pro yet. do you remember when you thought you might have a chance to kiss her? ya 4/5 of them were real chances (the other 1/5 is because even those with the best game make a bad read sometimes), and if u had simply leaned ur head forward she would have kissed u first, because she thinks ur hot. why do u think she started making out with you right away. because she thinks ur hot as fark. -want proof? think about kissing a girl you think is a 6. youd start with a peck. think about kissing a girl you think is hot as fark. yea. youd go straight to making out. It was your first date dude. i dont care how much talent u have, and how much youve studied. unless you have as much talent with girls as lebron james does with basketball. your game wasnt that awesome. and you hooked up with her because 1)60% she thinks your hot-her thoughts "this guys so hot i wanna hook up with him"-. 2)20%you showed interest -"omg hes interested in me im so totally gonna hook up with him"-. and thirdly you guys had fun together. "omg hes hot and kinda fun to hangout with. we should do this again. hopefully he mans up earlier so we can hookup more"

Ok so she thinks your hot, and thinks your fun to hangout with. but what else about her? Shes not looking for a relationship just because she thinks your hot!!! "But wait Whatsup, does that mean i dont have to try anymore and can become a bore and forget about having fun with her because she only wants me for my looks!!??" Hell NO!. yah your hot. ya she wants to hook up with you because of it. but guess what. shes a hot girl. so she has tons of guys she can just hook up with. Think of her as you would a guy who gets with lots of hot girls and doesnt care about their personalities and tires of them once he hits. but then he meets a girl he really has fun with. Bam their dating. Shes the same way and most hot girls are yo. yah she wants to hook up with you for you looks. but if u wanna keep seeing her dont stop having fun. and not only that. just because your a good looking guy. doesnt mean all girls think your hot. the opposite can be true as well. A guy can be ugly to 99% of women but one hot girls will think hes extremely hot. ive seen it happen.

Last piece of advice. your awesome. stop having a low self esteem. or basing your self-esteem on things that fluctuate like money,job status, or grades in school. you are literally naturally awesome. no matter what people say. Goood looks. naturally high social skills. yah no matter what other people who are jealous of u mite say your awesome, and the good traits you have are rare.not only that. why should what other people say truly mean to you? if someone thinks negatively that just means that one person out of 6 billion people thinks that way. 1/60000000 how insignificant is that? so feel good about yourself. and remember. good looks+high self esteem= "whats game? ive never heard of it! i just have fun with girls. yah some dont like me. but they were boring. fark them. wait why are we even talking about girls? their not a big deal. i have way bigger problems. like thinking about what im gonna eat tonight. wait why am i even on a dating website?"

Hey man, I really appreciate the feedback, it was an inspiring read and it sort of eliminated the anxiety I have about this girl.

I agree with you on those points. Although I don't like to think of myself as an "attractive" guy because I am afraid I will come off as a douche, but I think I am becoming better at accepting that I am "attractive" to women and using it to my advantage, and not letting it get to my head. Now, when you say sensitive to emotions and whatnot, do you mean I try to make people happy when I can sense they are not? Or do you mean I am just good at understanding them? And about inner game, I guess I do lol, that’s like being able to not be affected by sh*t tests and stuff right?

I never really thought about the things I AM good at, and I guess that’s the low self esteem problem. I know what you mean by that, I just blow my problems out of proportion sometimes and somehow make them outweigh my positives, which leads to being less confident and not living up to my true potential. And yes I am sort of shy, but with this date, I did more KINO than I have done in my entire life added up, literally. And yes I am cautious about Escalating, afraid of the rejection thinking that what I have done could be lost in an instant. I really want to fix my self esteem though, and its actually hard for me to admit this, but I now realize its hindering what I have to offer, and I got to get it cleared up!

See, what you’re saying actually is making me smile Like, now I KNOW I have more to offer and I can be much better than this, all I have to do is, I guess, like myself more lol. And no I am not emo in any way shape or form, lol. I know I should be getting with more women, or A woman for that matter, but something inside is hindering me, at least till now. But somethings still gnawing at me though.
Haha that's awesome. I never thought about it that way. I thought she just friend requested me because the Israeli told her too. About the kissing. Yes we were just sitting at one point holding hands, our other hands on each other’s legs, etc, and leaning on each other. She was making little cute sounds or something lol, but I felt a weird sensation and I felt like we could kiss, but when we got eye contact we didn’t really hold it long, so I didn’t even attempt, thinking that it wasn't that time yet. This happened a few times, and tell me if I am correct or not, but when we were that close and we weren't really talking, was that the time I SHOULD HAVE kissed her? It felt right but something was holding me back, I didn't want to get rejected, and I know she would have respected an attempt and might’ve actually made out then…

Now you say 60% of it was because I am hot? I don’t judge guys or even ask girls, “hey is so-and-so hot?” But I don’t know if it was 60%, but maybe it was. Granted, during this date there was silent spots, but not for longer than 30 seconds, then I would bring up something else. But, there was a lot of teasing, lots of smiling/laughing, lots of touching/rubbing, and Sexual Tension (at least it felt like that to me, not sure if she did.) gosh I wish I could read minds lol. I just think the bantering and KINO was what made her like the date more than me being attractive, but my game isn’t pro and I don’t really know lol.
“Hopefully he mans up earlier so we can hook up more.” Now it may be my personality why I like to analyze things that I don’t really grasp 100%, but I don’t really get this. I am not the best at understanding signals, I know I will get better over time, but now that I look back, there were points in the date where I could have went much further, should stopped talking and done more touching/cuddling, and what not. But about what you said, does this mean she wants me to talk more sexual with her and KINO her more (in more sexual ways)?
So listen to this. We were texting today, while I was at work and no it wasn’t the best convo I have had with her but so what, we made out already I don’t have to go crazy with my texts. I do know not to stop gaming her though, or I WILL lose her. Ya, so I have the text in front of me so I will just write it on here, maybe you can give feedback on it maybe not:

HER- “lets chill before I go to class?” ME- “Heck yaa. Where at?” HER- “My bed.” (I don’t respond, I knew I would respond in a stupid way so I just waited to see if she would send another text. 30 minutes later she did.) HER- “Jk, you aren’t allowed in there… yet lets hang at school, I’ll be working on journalism with Sam anyway.” (Sam is a cool dude, that one guy that can pick up any girl lol. Which brings up another thing which I will ask you about later.) ME- “oh if you saw me in my sexy bedtime outfit, you would be begging…haha you are crazy girl ” HER- “Oh snap haha” (not a reaction I was expecting but whatev lol.) ME- “Yeah I was right yesterday about you being the ambitious type ” “HER- I joke around a lot hun ” ME- Haha ok fine, you win this time Kourtney ” HER- “Aww with that attitude we may just work out” ( I was teasing her yesterday about our relationship not working because we disagree to much lol, just playful teasing) Then she asked how my night is and I asked her, and she said she was watching a TV show and I said “Your just hinting that you want me to hang out and watch a movie with you aren’t ya ” HER- “ I wasn’t trying to but that would be awesome ”. So do you think she is also trying to hint she wants this little relationship we have to get sexual? I sort of know how to progress it there with KINOing her but not sure how I would verbally get her to that point, if she even needs too be aroused to that point lol, she seems pretty horny. She is only 20 so its understandable. We aren’t older “matured” people lol.
So are you saying that this could be more than a fling with her if I play it correctly? Not that I really care if its just a fark buddy type thing, but I would sort of like to know what she sees in us, and you seem like a much more Empathetic person so that’s why I ask you haha.

Onto your last paragraph. Thanks man, I truly try to be the best I can be every day, well, in terms of being nice to people and trying to have a fun time and enjoy life. You know, it could end at anytime. And maybe my recent head-on collision helped me realize this, but yeah, life is about taking advantage of the opportunities you are presented with! I think that if my self –esteem was higher, I could have much more success, in a lot of things! I don’t know about me having high social skills lol. (There’s my self esteem again haha) So this is random, but my job is a Busser/customer assistance at a very high end community restaurant/golf course clubhouse. There are loads of highly influential, wealthy, and several very nice people there. I get into long conversations with some of them and after talking, they say that I have some quite rare qualities, but I don’t know what they really mean, and I don’t want to say “what do you mean?”. Lol. But since I was young, peer pressure never affected me, and now, when people say rude comments or hate on something about me, I just brush it off like they never said anything. That’s been a trait I have had since I was young. Probably my parent’s idea. Oh one last thing. Why, when I am around guys, am I not the same?! I cant talk to girls the same way as I would if I was with a group of them or one-on-one with a girl. Maybe it is because I think they are judging my performance and game with woman? I dunno, but it’s a big holdback.

Haha mate, if I get working on my self esteem and other problems and get way more successful with women, I don’t know if I could truly thank you for what you’ve said. And this is only your first reply to this conversation! You should be a therapist or something, because your little response really made me feel better about myself and realize what I have to offer in terms of inner AND outer qualities of me. I was blown away with some of the things you said that were true, that I didn’t even realize! The biggest thing is, you only read this little story of me, you have never met me in real life, and somehow you can depict all these details and nail accurately what my strengths and weaknesses are. You truly have a gift that not many people have and I feel honored to have you responding to my little story. I hope you can help me out some more, but I feel like I have nothing good enough to give in return! This post by you, man, has been a 10/10, actually let me correct that, a 100/10. Enough tooting your horn for now though ha-ha. Just keep in mind I really appreciated it, and hope you can answer the other few questions I have.

Ok, so couple pointers here:

"my bed" was very forward on her part. If you played a perfect game here you would have ended up in her bed within minutes.

That being said, you're right-- when in doubt, hold your tongue. So you played it pretty well here. However...

....this is her slut defense going off. You made her feel self-conscious about being so forward, so she took it back. Remember, withdrawing attention is a mild punishment. You should almost always reward a response you want, and her being more sexual towards you is DEFINITELY a response you want.

There's a lot of ways to play that-- coy, cocky-funny, or even just calling her out on trying to seduce you. Whatever you do, just remember your ATTENTION is the reward, so don't just automatically put her on a pedestal because she did something right.

Push-pull. You've got her chasing you, so alternate between half a step back and a step forward. By the time you actually ARE in bed with her, there will be a lot less LMR.


Probably a combination of several possible reasons:
1) first time nervousness
2) subconscious programs built up during your formative years
3) you're still relatively young, I can't rule out hormones :P
4) most of all, you can't talk to girls like you can guys because girls AREN'T like guys!
Girls and guys think differently. Some of this is genetic (how we view babies, sh1t like that), some of it is societal (when you watched Disney as a kid and you saw Sleeping Beauty or whatever, you just saw some chick, but the girl watching it saw HERSELF), and some of it is social/parental (you played war with G.I joes and melted them in the microwave as a kid, meanwhile SHE was playing house with her barbies, learning all the dynamics of social interaction-- you learned strength and how physical world worked, she learned how the SOCIAL world works and how to deal with a strong opposing male without physical strength but rather her feminine wiles and her keen understanding of social dynamics.)

You're understandably a little nervous cause BITCHES HAVE A HUGE HEAD START ON US. Seriously though, the point is you SHOULDNT talk to a girl like one of the guys (excepting the occasional tomboy chick). You also shouldn't talk to them like they're the goddess Aphrodite incarnate-- they can instantly sense when you put them on a pedestal and will just as quick stick you in the friend box. You SHOULD talk to them like a PUA, like an alpha male. This may mean switching it up a bit. Sometimes you tease them like they're your awkward little sister. Other times they get bitchy or sh1t test you and you gotta treat them like the family houseguest that just won't farking leave-- calm but firmly resolute.

Mostly, however, the best advice I can give on getting over nervousness talking to girls is PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. calibration takes time. Talk to as many girls as you can. Don't ditch the failures, keep them in the friend box and use them as more practice (or to introduce you to more girls to practice on). Most importantly: have farking fun with it. Pickup isn't a chore, it's a lifestyle. Chicks are great fun as long as you don't let their sh1t get to you. And it's not even all about getting to the sex, either. Always having someone new and interesting to hang out with is fun. And let me tell you, sex when you want it is nice, but there's nothing like the feeling of walking into a party with the hottest little chick in the tri-state area and watching all the jaws drop ...and then watching all the jaws hit the floor when she can actually bust out a smart conversation. So make practice about satisfying all your needs, not just the one to not hump the couch another night in a row. (metaphorically speaking, I hope) :P if none of this makes sense, read or re-read "The Game" by Style. There's a ton of genius in there, but I believe the most important lesson of all, and the final lesson he learns in the story, is that pickup isn't about getting laid, it's about a life of meaningful relationships, and not just with chicks, but guys, friends, work, even with yourself or your god or whatever youre into. It's the walk of life. So bang on, Genium and the rest of my brothers, but remember the banging is part of the bigger picture.

Oh and P.S.: Genium, enjoy the nervousness while it lasts. really relish it. A.) you'll be more effective despite your nervousness if you embrace it, and B.) as you get better at this, the nervousness will disappear, and you may even be a little nostalgic for it. We all remember fondly the girls who gave us the real legitimate butterflies in our proverbial stomachs... As we get better at the game, and realize we literally can have any girl we want, we start to raise our standards, and eventually come to the conclusion that there are less and less girls that meet those standards. As the Steve says, "stay hungry" my friends.