Field Report # 5- College Bar # close

Hey guys, just a quick report this time. I went to this one college bar that I always thought was tough to sarge in--guys and girls all know each other, tough to be a few years out of college around all these 21 year olds. But I ditched the excuses and marched in there alone. Here's the report.

Situation: Two girls sitting at table, two girls (different set) standing right near them.

Approach style: Indirect

Result: Number Close

Not knowing anyone, I spent the first 10 minutes talking to guys, talking about football, choice of beer, the bar etc. I made sure to add value to any group I opened, and moved on before getting too needy and annoying. I saw two girls I wanted to open--I actually told the guy I was talking to that I was about to do it--went over and asked:

"hey do you guys think this would be a good bar to take a girl on a first date?"

Not only were they immediately interested but the two girls behind me (sitting down at a table) started laughing and tried to chime in. Now I am talking to four girls and couldn't make up my mind who to target (I was a little indecisive I'll admit). Luckily the seated girls made the decision for me by asking me if I would like to sit down. I said sure, and targeted the girl who made the offer (turns out the other friend was just visiting from out of town, so it was the right choice).

I teased them and talked about dating crap, meanwhile the other two girls kept looking over and when I winked at them, one came over and tried to get back into the conversation: she was clearly interested as well.

The Close:

I said "actually I see one of my friends over there I'm gonna go talk to" and she tried to say "aww, well maybe I'll cya round campus?". To which I was like "uhh, no cuz ur gonna give me your number" (handed her the phone).

Best part was that I forgot her name but she actually typed it in! I swear, handing the girl the phone just always works for me. The message here is that college girls love opinion openers like this and will give you a great reaction as long as your body language and tone are good. Best of luck out there guys.

Jkwan23

What do you mean when you said added value to any group? Can you go into more detail about the conversation with the four girls? How long was your conversation before you sat down? And how long was your conversation before you closed?

Adding value means I am enhancing the conversation by being part of it, make others glad I am there by getting them all involved and being fun. You want to be agreeable but not in a desperate way--something like "yeah dude, I know what you mean" or "you seem to know a lot about the night life around here, what's another spot you like?"

Not boring stuff like "what's your major," they should want to participate in the convo, they shouldn't feel like they are just being polite.

After the Opener, we started chatting about good date locations and etiquette. The hidden implication was that I already had a date, and was just deciding where to take her (or at least that I date often enough to be looking for new ideas). I forget the specifics, but I had one nice tease I got in that generated some attraction:

1. I said "what's your name" (she gives it) "well, (your name) if a guy invited you to bar xyz for drinks what you would think...but I mean I don't know if you ever go on dates or anything"

Nice tease implying she doesn't get asked out much (hit on a lot maybe, stared at perhaps, but not taken out for a real date). Also good to get her name and start using it--people feel more comfortable when you use their name.

So maybe 5 minutes of this before I sat down--effectively isolating the two standing girls (one girl seemed pretty jealous, the other didn't give a sh**) while fully engaging the two sitting. I hung out for about 10-15 minutes--longer than I normally would but I was seated and we were having a good chat. Had we been standing in a crowd I might have closed earlier.

The key is to push/pull--to flirt with her, but then back off as if you aren't interested. Sometimes I gave her straight answers to her questions (I'm an honest, nice guy after all) but sometimes I gave her BS answers or and said "that's classified, but you'll find out soon enough" She responded "ooh, you're so mysterious" which is a great thing to hear from a girl. Basically just let the conversation flow, light teasing, and don't let the interaction become a Q & A.

-J

EDIT:

To pick up on my point about being mysterious, here's a text she sent me after a few exchanges.

Her: So when do I get to learn your last name so I can stalk you? Is that only once we have our first date?

She's dying to find out more about me, and has already suggested a date. It goes to show that if girls want to find out more about you, they will be that much more eager to see you in person.