I have a delicate problem with my good friend - sometimes it gets excited when I don't want it. And now the long version: I used to have, probably like most of you guys, some uncontrolled erection when I was a teenager, it may have happened anytime anywhere.
As years got passed, it almost got away, and now it doesn't happen in the middle of the street. But I have faced the problem I haven’t had for like 10 or 15 years - I have been attending dance lessons for a year now, and I've been learning salsa. Now we started to dance bachata and kizomba (these are really close dances, check youtube for examples). And that’s where I started to have problems. In those closed positions I can hardly control myself, and it is really making me nervous, embarrassed and sad. There is a lot of physical contact in these dances, partners are often completely closed. And in those closed dances I can hardly control myself. I tried all the things I could have thought of and find on google – thinking of something else like difficult math equations, thinking about disgusting things, wearing tight underwear, even pleasing myself before dance class (this one is a little effective).
I used to date a girl a little time before (she was not on this dance class), even spending the whole night with her and scoring like 3 or 4 times doesn’t make much difference – the next evening I go to dance class and I get into unpleasant situation. I would understand myself if I’d be 15 years old, though I am now 27 and I feel like an idiot in these situations. Hiding my problem is not a way out in my situation, because when we dance we have to be completely near each other, so I have to keep the distance or try to make different figures, but anyway sometimes girl gets close enough to feel it …
I have been in this class some time and I really like it. I don’t want to quit it, but my problem makes me depressed. And I don’t want to offend girls and make them uncomfortable. But I can’t find the way to control myself. I can’t believe I have this problem at this age, and I’m pretty embarrassed to talk about it. Can you give me any advice how to learn to control myself ?
Thank you in advance and sorry for bringing up pretty delicate question.