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Thread: need a confidence booster

  1. #1
    palnajar3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need a confidence booster

    whats up fellas, im in need of a self-improvement book that will help me out with a certain situation im in.

    ive slowly come to realize that im a confident person, but i lack the confidence i want in order to get the women i want and become the social person i really want to be. this past year has been very forgettable and i want to move in a new direction this year, im almost where i want to be and im having trouble "getting over the hump"

    as far as my confidence goes, i know that women are attracted to me(as ive heard from my coworkers, friends, and guests at work). i work out almost everyday, im well dressed, intelligent, and have a decent paying job. what im not sure of are my social/conversation skills.

    here are some books ive been looking at purchasing, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    The Natural - Richard la Ruina

    Models - Mark Manson

    How to win friends and influence people - dale carnegie

    feeling good: new mood therapy - David Burns

    How to become an alpha male - john alexander

    unstoppable confidence - kent sayre

    how to start a conversation and make friends - don gabor

    any useful information on these? i know some of them are different subject typs, but all of them seem to be very helpful as to what i would like to "gain" in my social skills.

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    instead of those books i would check out liel loundres "how to talk to anyone" it builds off of dale carnegies outdated system. she has 92 easey to remember tricks that will help you in any social circumstance.

    in addition i must add that confidence doesn't come from reading books. confidence only comes from experience. you probably weren't all that confident in your driving skills the first time you took a car for a drive now were you? but over time with practice you became a more and more confident driver right? its the same thing, social confidence comes from social experience.

  3. #3
    palnajar3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    thank you for the suggestion! i definitely see what u mean, and im sure practice does make perfect. i guess theres nothing to do but go and "practice"

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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    in addition i must add that confidence doesn't come from reading books. confidence only comes from experience.
    Meteora hit the nail on the head, but this doesn't mean forget about the books. If your sitting at home all of the time, reading books and hoping to make an improvement it is NOT going to happen. However, I believe that you need to read books in order to benefit from your experience. If your out in the field just practicing whatever hoping for "experience" and not reflecting on it, you will not learn anything. The books are extremely helpful if you USE THEM THE RIGHT WAY!

    It's like someone who is trying to get in shape and thinks that taking supplements (books) will get them there without working out (practicing, experience, etc..).

    Like Neil Strauss said, make sure that your effort/result ratio is around 50/50. If your putting in more effort and not getting enough results, you need to look at what your doing and change your plan to try and increase them.

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    @ callofthewildman, i didn't mean that books can't help you, i meant that although books can give you indirect experience (experience shared from other people) books cannot replace hours of feildwork.

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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    I really enjoyed The Attraction Code. It helps wrap your head around the psychology of women and men. How it fits in our society and really breaks open on what makes us tick.

    Magic Bullets is a solid, easy to read Mystery Method book. Venusian Artist handbook is great, but I always felt it was just jumbled up and not as organized as Magic Bullets.

    Lastly I really like SwingCats Real World Seduction. He is the master of push/pull. A little tough to read and a little more for advanced PUA's looking to further their game, but it's still a highly recommended read.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    CallofTheWildman's Avatar
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    Default Re: need a confidence booster

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    @ callofthewildman, i didn't mean that books can't help you, i meant that although books can give you indirect experience (experience shared from other people) books cannot replace hours of feildwork.
    Totally agreeing with ya man. I just wanted to make sure he knew that using books should be AID to fieldwork, rather than completely overrun it

  8. #8
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    Default Getting Ahead of the Game

    If you're in search of self-improvement, the one thing I have really found to be boosting myself is Tyler Durden's "Real Social Dynamics". It's an audio series, but I find that to be the best in improving self game rather than technique.

    I do also have Dale Carnegie's book, although I have not started reading it yet. I also have the Stylelife Challenge, and then a load of more audiotapes, which includes Cory Skyy's "Magnetic Mindset" and 50 Cent's "The 50th Law". I have listened to bits of the 50th Law and I also find it to be pretty good. Not as good as Tyler Durden's stuff, but still ranking up high.

    What I like the most about audiotapes is that you can listen to them while walking, driving, doing chores, and every other which thing. So far I'm halfway through Tyler Durden's 20 hour (take a few maybe) lecture series, and the only times I have listened to it is when I have been walking to and from classes. Another thing to add: I started listening to this about two weeks ago, knocking out about a half an hour to an hour a day.

    Although books are nice, they are not the only place where you can find great information. Audio tracks are nice because all you have to do is listen and absorb.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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