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  1. #1
    Atomic's Avatar
    Atomic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    Hey guys, been reading the forum for a while, but now signed up to discuss a problem that's really bugging me.

    Short version: failed to get (or keep) an erection on three One Night Stands in a row. What could have been great f-closes, ended up pretty miserably. What the F*CK Never had this problem before (and physically everything's working fine) so what can I do about this??

    Long version to share some more insight on the details:

    After being single for over a year, and hardly any interaction with women at all, I recently started actively hitting on them again. After some failures and moderate successes (some crash & burn, some kissing, some number closing), about 7 weeks ago I had a really great night, chatted a girl up in a bar, kissed, and ended up going home with her.

    Now she was hot (I'd rate her HB8) and I was definitely into her, I was horny and I *really* felt like having sex with her. Back at her place we started kissing again, touching and undressing each other, but for some reason I couldn't get a hard on. I really felt like it, but no matter what, it just didn't happen. It wasn't definitely not her fault... but no reaction down there whatsoever.

    Now she was easy going and didn't make a fuss about it. I tried to do the same, and reasoned to myself it just had been a while since I was with a women, and I was probably just nervous. No big deal.

    A few weeks later (this was late January) however, same thing happened. Had a great night out with some friends, met a cute girl, we really had a connection going on, and at the end of the night she went home with me. Very much looking forward to bang her (and so was she). Obviously the memory of last time sneaked up on me, but I didn't pay attention to it and put my mind to other things. At first I didn't get an erection again for quite a while. I didn't want to focus on it too much, I went down on her, massaged here a little bit, kissed, stroked and touched her all over her body, had a great time, and eventually I sort of managed to get a boner (not 100% rock hard, but hard enough). But when we actually started farking, it lasted only for a few minutes and I just felt it go flaccid again.

    Now I started to feel pretty uncomfortable at this point. But sure enough I tried to avoid the downward mental spiral of worrying, which only amplifies the problem, which only makes me worry more, etc.

    OK so last weekend, well I'll spare the details but after a great Saturday night out, AGAIN I was all set and ready to have sex with a hot girl. And AGAIN I could not get it up. Obviously I was already anxious about it, which probably only made it worse. What the f*ck I tried not to make a big deal of it to her, but in my mind I was really freaking out. What's wrong with me!


    I realize this is a psychological thing. Until that first time seven weeks ago, I've never had a erection problem EVER in my life. And I still don't when I'm alone. I can easily get it up (not necessarily with porn, I also fantasize) and I typically wake up having morning wood, or an erection now and then during the daytime, so physically everything is working.

    I know it doesn't help but I'm getting desperate here Any of you guys ever had this experience? Any advice or tips how to get past this?? Any help is much appreciated!!

  2. #2
    Atomic's Avatar
    Atomic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    Uhm, just realized I posted this in Health and Fitness, but as it's probably not related to (physical) health, perhaps it'd be better if I posted this in 'Ask Expert' or something.

    Maybe an admin can move this thread?

    Btw still curious if other guys have had similar experiences (I guess I'm not alone in this?) and how they dealt with this.

  3. #3
    joerocks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    i had the same problem recently, when i had a One Night Stand. it's all in our heads, it's just a mental block. another obstacle to overcome, as it were. you have to really let yourself enjoy the moment, and not stress about anything else. focus on the task at hand, and you should stay potent, all night.

  4. #4
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
    Ice Breaker is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    This happened to me two nights ago. It took me forever to get a hard on and it definitely wasn't the chicks fault. She was on top grinding me and making out and she's grinding in my area and it wasn't getting hard. By the time we went to her room, I had slight erection and she was giving me a BJ, then she got on top, but she was trying way too hard and I felt more embarrassed than I have been in my whole life

    I thought my thing was broken. The next day I'm trying to get an erection just to see if it still works. I couldn't do it, It wasn't even funny how hard I tried. I tried looking at porn and still nothing. I thought the chick broke it; she [I]was[/I kind of rough. I knew it was mental, so forgot about.

    I did found some pills that could help though. It's called Yohimbe. This is a natural ingredient made from an African tree root. It gives you rock hard erection and allows you to blow your load like multiple times in one night. Each one one is as intense as the first. I guess it could be a tool to help the problem, but eventually you'll realize it's all in your head and you'll have to get erections without the aid of herbs.

  5. #5
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    It is allllll mental. Women do not realize that an erection isn't all about physical. We have blood coursing our body but our mental state is what really will affect our "mood".

    Try black ants. It's like a booster.

    If this happens a lot, maybe it is a health problem and go talk to a doctor about possible low test levels.

    But typically, it's all in your head. One night stands aren't typical things that happen to guys all the time, so we get super excited but then our mind floods us with thoughts and we want to make sure we are good and this and that. So then we get this thing called performance anxiety.

  6. #6
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    Think less, you'll feel more. Or use viagra

  7. #7
    FlowTime is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unable to get erection on one night stands, how to get rid of this!?!

    I went out with this girl once , she told me she had gotten a std before we started dating so i went to get a checkup. To make it short , she lied to me , got me freaked out and for a whole Year + i was scared to death of one night stands as i had developed this phobia of getting a std , on multiple occasions i just couldn't get it up . I got rid of it by just accepting the fact that i'll eventually get one and really there is a cure for everything these days ( i know not hiv "yet" but i wear a rubber like anyone should)

    Prior to this was the common " i need to do it perfectly , i can't screw this up , what if she start laughing , what if she's been with X guys before me , am i the right size" questions
    Now i imagine myself being a pornstar and doing it to some inexperienced girl


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