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Thread: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

  1. #1
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Exclamation first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    when I read The Game, I laughed at the thought of failing to completely lose my virginity at the first chance that shows up, like Extramask...

    ... and then, this happened to me 2 weekends ago:
    (it's a bit long, I like writing and detailing unnecessary things, but bare with me)

    So I (20 yo, ?1/2 virgin?) met this 7.5 at a friend's house party 3 weeks ago; I played Game on her, take her number, we get into C1 the same night, on the bed, no KC, but good chemistry; she rings me up the next evening, we go to a bar, a bit more Game, and bam, KC!
    she lives in a town 100km away, so we only text during the week; she invites me over, I get there Friday night, and things are looking good... we make out, we talk, make out some more, lay on the bed ("finally gonna do it, gonna lose my V-card" - I should mention that she thinks I'm not a virgin, and also, I know she only had one boyfriend before me; Anyway ...)

    Her limit was fingering, and once I got in that area, I bumped into her LMR: "No, I don't want to do this, I want to wait a bit more before doing it"; following your wise advice, I said that I understand, and I even agree with her, but I don't want to cuddle instead, that a girl saying 'no' turns me off and that I can't go just halfway, it's frustrating and I'll do something else; I blew the 3 candles I had lit, turned on a little light at the side of the bed, turned on her laptop and started checking my emails; I got a random funny video on youtube, put the laptop on a chair and got next to her; few minutes later, she got up, to "take something from the desk", light up the candles and turned off the light, "searched something else" on youtube, put on a playlist with slow songs, pushed me on the bed and took off her bra... we started kissing, touching, and pretty soon, the action went in the lower area of her body; I tried to give her oral stimulation, but she told me she's too turned on, and she wants me inside ...
    me, being stiff for like 2 days straight, getting hard each time I kissed her or lightly touched her, was ecstatic, grabbed a condom, put it on, looked at my prize, leaned over her, and tried to guide my way inside with my hand, without looking ... next thing I know, I feel something's not right, I keep trying, and soon enough, it was gone ...

    words can't express the feelings ... anger, hate, frustration, lust, and a whole lot of confusion ...

    I landed on the bed beside her, frozen, unable to explain to her what happened ...

    (details skipped)

    (45 minutes later) we try again, same result, I go to sleep, she puts her hand around me in something that felt like pitty ...

    next morning, same thing; next evening, same thing, like 3 times ... morning after that, I left to the train station before she woke up ...

    (details skipped)

    a few things are worth mentioning:
    -second evening I actually got it IN, for a few seconds, but then lost it when trying to change position;
    -we've kept talking, maybe even more than before, and I'm going back to her place this weekend
    -the only position she wanted to do it in was missionary, that I don't especially love
    -only once, we tried another position, cowgirl, and that was the only time I got it in for like 20 seconds or so, but got out frequently because she moved too much
    -my "friend" is around 15cm, when "awake" ... I felt a pinch of pitty in her voice when she told me her first bf was "a little bit bigger" (after having asked her about it, having picked up on some weird sh*t from her body language), and I also think this is the reason why I couldn't keep it in when she was on top
    -I was very nervous the first time, and EVERY time after that, my mental state only got WORSE and WORSE: I couldn't stop thinking about how it would be if I couldn't get it up and fack this girl before the end of the weekend; "would she laugh about it? would I have another chance? was her bf a black guy? am I retarded? should I see a doctor? ... oh sh*t, here it goes again! fack this sh*t, I quit!"

    can't think about anything else worth mentioning right now, I'm gonna edit my post later if I remember any more details...

    I would appreciate some feedback, ideas, anything that could help me get over this ...

    oh, in the meantime, I read articles and visited forums, and found out that ED was normal, under stress and all, and that it's ... possible to happen sometimes... but still ...

    Thanks in advance, guys, have a great night!

  2. #2
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    You have pretty much the same experience I had about 2 weeks ago. I was making out with a chick and things moved into the room and my stuff went soft for a little, but it eventually got hard again. I thought I completely farked up the sex with her, I couldn't get an erection for 2 days. I thought my thing was broken or I had a problem; negative thoughts just flooded my head where I couldn't even sleep. But 3 days later she asks me to come back and the sex was amazing. The second time, I wasn't so stuck in my head just let things happen. I was kissing her neck and playing with her for about 40 minutes before we had sex. I think that warmed her up and got me out of my head and allowed things to flow easier.

    I think the first time you were having SA. If you do get another chance, just let things flow. I personally like cowgirl style the best... I really don't why. I'm no expert, but I think you should build sexual Tension before you actually do it. Like kissing her neck, fondling, etc... That makes her want you more and gives you time to ease your self into the situation.

  3. #3
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Smile Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Breaker View Post
    You have pretty much the same experience I had about 2 weeks ago. I was making out with a chick and things moved into the room and my stuff went soft for a little, but it eventually got hard again. I thought I completely farked up the sex with her, I couldn't get an erection for 2 days. I thought my thing was broken or I had a problem; negative thoughts just flooded my head where I couldn't even sleep. But 3 days later she asks me to come back and the sex was amazing. The second time, I wasn't so stuck in my head just let things happen. I was kissing her neck and playing with her for about 40 minutes before we had sex. I think that warmed her up and got me out of my head and allowed things to flow easier.

    I think the first time you were having SA. If you do get another chance, just let things flow. I personally like cowgirl style the best... I really don't why. I'm no expert, but I think you should build sexual Tension before you actually do it. Like kissing her neck, fondling, etc... That makes her want you more and gives you time to ease your self into the situation.
    Thanks for the self-confidence bump ...
    what is SA?

    and indeed, I will see her this weekend, so that's why I'm kind of getting nervous about this ...

    I usually pushed foreplay for as long as possible, around an hour or so, and she would get incredibly aroused to the point where she would pull me to her, and pull my pants down wildly ... (I have a lot of dexterity in my fingers )

    I am thinking about asking her for a BJ next time if this happens again, I mean it can't get any worse, right?

    I am also kind of inclined to do solely cowgirl, or at least for the beginning, but teach her the advanced cowgirl, where she only slides back and forth, in order to avoid letting it slip out, and still give her proper stimulation, even with my "small problem" ...

    anyone else has some useful ideas? anything helps, guys!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    SA stands for Sexual Anxiety. I should have just wrote it out, but was being lazy.

    The chick I was with was practically ripping my clothes off also. I tried to stay alpha male; there was no way I was telling her I was a virgin. I kind of had a bad experience the first night when she was trying to give me a BJ. I don't like to blame people, but it was kind of her fault. She kept rubbing her teeth against my thing, it hurt and it was hard to keep a hard on. If you feel like getting one and she's good, then go for it I guess.

    The best advice I got was showing alpha male body language and being confident. Show your comfortable with the situation, take up enough space to show your relaxed. Break eye contact by only looking to the sides, like your distracted. Never look down, it makes you look like your intimidated. I use these simple techniques and I believe it made me more confident, resulting an amazing second time sex night, which more than made up for the first time.

    I don't really think anyone can help with your sex problems. It's just one of those things you have to keep doing to get good at.

    Good luck! Try to be relaxed the second time and it will probably go perfectly.

  5. #5
    Slowbomb is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Its not just you..i have a problem staying hard with pretty chicks...sexy mamas give me the hardest wood

  6. #6
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Dude, you're a virgin, leave the fantasies. Either do it the traditional way, or have her sitted on a table/secretary and do the funny business. You see the door to Mordor, so no problemo with visibility. You just have to release your inner soul and make the sweet love.

    It will be better this time, you'll be less anxious... and plus, you're not a virgin anymore, you had sex with her, you penetrated, it doesn't matter if it was only the tip, or a single penetration.

    Cool yourself, everything's gonna be ok

  7. #7
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Happened to me the first time too. It's anxiety. Nothing will kill a boner like adrenaline. You could take a pill to help you out the first couple times you have sex so once you get used to the experience, you won't be as nervous and won't need it in the future. Hope this helps.

  8. #8
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Smile Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    You could take a pill to help you out the first couple times you have sex so once you get used to the experience, you won't be as nervous and won't need it in the future.
    I thought about it, but ... no ... I'm still living with my parents, my health insurance is connected to theirs, and awkward questions would arise ... so, no ...
    If I could get a couple' pills over the counter, without using my social insurance, credit card and whatnot, and without leaving me broke for the rest of the month (I'm not the rich kind of student), I would be willing to try them ... I live in France, btw, so if any of you have any information about how this could be achieved, let me know!

    Thanks to all of you, I'm feeling better already!
    Thumbs up to lenric, for solidifying my belief in terms of "virginity", I'm done with it, so I suppose the bit of pressure that I felt is kind of off now!

    Also, Ice Breaker: I was really paying attention to my body language before things got hot, and I think that's part of why she 'cracked' after just 2 days of seeing each other ... once we were naked, cuddling, and it was time to do it, I don't really think it mattered anymore, since adrenaline took the best of me ...

    Should I keep updating this thread with info, or should I keep it to myself?

    Thanks again for the support, guys! Best forum in the world!

  9. #9
    hyp
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    if ur watching porn a few times a week, ditch it, that can fqck u up as well but id say ur anxiety killed it cause it was ur first, next time u'll be good (y)

  10. #10
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first time sex experience (field rapport) ... medical condition?!

    Quote Originally Posted by rocketguy View Post
    I thought about it, but ... no ...
    If I could get a couple' pills over the counter, without using my social insurance, credit card and whatnot, and without leaving me broke for the rest of the month (I'm not the rich kind of student), I would be willing to try them
    I'm 100% positive there are. One simply needs to head to a CVS or rite aid. They got sh!t that can help.


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