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  1. #1
    Stereotype is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    K guys long time reader first time poster. Let me keep it brief.

    Been seeing this chick casually for about 3-4 months. I like her a lot and she really really likes me a lot. I mean, she would text me literally every day and tell me how much she misses me and how great of a guy I am and how I am so different from other guys (thank you PUA advice. Didn't do any AFC shit on her). This didn't annoy me cause I like her too and we connected really well.

    Anyway, I wanted to get more serious with her, but she always resisted. She had a good reason to resist because her last BF (who she dated for 2 years, moved in with, ect all at age 18) abused her and used to beat her and got her hooked on drugs and shit. Now she is totally clean and doesn't talk to the guy anymore, but she does have some emotional issues.

    So here is what happened. We are just texting one day (last thursday) casually talking about what we are making for dinner and yada yada. All of a sudden she drops this on me (paraphrasing):

    HER: So my sister is trying to set me up with this guy from her work...she wants me to go on a double date...double blind date...lol

    ME: Ya what you say (NOTE: I was furious when she said this to me. I have been friends with this girls sister forever, and her sister knows I have been hanging out with her. But I didn't wanna seem too needy or nervous so I play it cool)

    HER: Maybe lol...apparently he's a big nerd or something

    ME: U serious? (NOTE: Now i am really mad that she is willing to see other guys. Remember we have been seeing eachother for like 4 months and I know for a fact she hasn't been sleeping with other people, even though we have been casual).

    HER: About him being a nerd? Yes...

    ME: No about trying to hook you up with someone. Does she not know we talk like every day?

    HER: Not really we don't really talk about it and besides you and I arn't official

    ME: I know that. We barely hang out (NOTE: we hung out more before)

    HER: Yeah I Know

    ME: I mean we have been talking for months now. It bugs me that you are open to going on dates.

    HER: I'm 19 years old... =/ I'm not ready for what your ready for

    ME: What are you talking about? We are not that far apart in age (NOTE: Im 24 shes 19, turning 20 in a month. Not a big deal)

    HER: I think you're sweet, amazing, cute, funny, smart, and just awesome...but (exBF) broke me. I'm still recovering from all the shit he did to me.

    *NOTE: we go back and forth on the exBF this for awhile.

    ME: How would you feel if I was hanging out with other girls? (NOTE: This chick gets HELLA jealous when I talk about other girls. Like really bad)

    HER: I woundl't blame you, you deserve a girl so much better than me (NOTE: she always says this)

    ME: Maybe we should stop talking to eachother

    HER: If that is what you want.

    ME: Right now it is.

    HER: Fine =/

    OK so I thought she would come crawling back to me, but she hasn't. She has not texted/called once in the last week, and like I said she used to contact me almost every day.

    One thing to note is last time I stayed the night at her place, I left my really nice Helly Hanson coat over there. The coat was a graduation gift from my mom and I really want it back. So if nothing else I wanna contact her in like a week (by this time two weeks would have gone by since the fight) and get my coat back.

    Again, I do not have one-itus and I am willing to let this girl go. I really am. I do like her a lot, but she has things she needs to fix before we start hanging out again. But like I said I want this coat back.

    I'm thinking I text her telling her I wanna come pick my coat up. Should I

    A. Go over there, get the coat, and leave barely saying anything? This could make her want me, but again I figured she woulda contacted me.

    B. Go over, apologize, and try to go inside and talk? This could backfire, make me look hella needy, and turn her off.

    What would you guys do? I need help on this one.

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    Apologize? For what?

    Dude - you should have encouraged her to go on that date. That would have made her want you 10x as much.

  3. #3
    Stereotype is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Preston View Post
    Apologize? For what?

    Dude - you should have encouraged her to go on that date. That would have made her want you 10x as much.
    That is a good point didn't think about that.

    She always tells me about guys that are hitting on her at work. I will always throw it back in her face and say "You guys would make a cute couple. You should go out with the dude."

    OK so I shoulda done what you said, but I didn't. Now what? lol.

  4. #4
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    A. Learn from your mistakes (ie. don't do that again).
    B. Ask her how her hot date was, but be completely indifferent. Maybe say something like, did you get lucky? Again - act like you could care less.
    C. Date other women also...
    D. Keep banging her... lol.

  5. #5
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Preston View Post
    Again - act like you could care less.
    I would suggest you acted like you couldn't care less.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  6. #6
    Stereotype is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Preston View Post
    A. Learn from your mistakes (ie. don't do that again).
    B. Ask her how her hot date was, but be completely indifferent. Maybe say something like, did you get lucky? Again - act like you could care less.
    C. Date other women also...
    D. Keep banging her... lol.
    Maybe I should add something else here. I am a christian and don't believe in banging as many girls as possible and keeping F buddies ect. Before you all blast me as some sort of weirdo in the wrong forums, lemme remind you something. What we are talking about is human interaction. It don't matter what age you are, language you speak, part of the country youre in, what your religion/values are, "the game" and the interaction betweeen people is all the same. Lemme address your points. UPDATE: So I hit her up again, acting like nothing happened. She was responsive at first, acting like nothing happened. But then she said "I thought we wernt talking anymore." I should have blown off this sh*t test, but I got all defensive. BUT I saved myself by throwing in great negs and Push-Pull, so it was like we were back to normal. Then tonight, she tells me how she has been all down and depressed recently. I kept asking whats up and she wouldn't tell me. Finally she broke down and said, "Im sorry, I don't wanna like you or be attached at all. I'm not ready." This time I throw it back in her face. I say "lets just be friends and keep it casual." Then she said "Im not interested in anything more than that with you." This kinda shocked me a little but I said basically I agree. Then she said "ok, thats nice. Catch ya later." And didn't respond again. Kinda rattled me cause like I said usually she is all over me. I'm afraid she is seeing someone else. I now realize this thing is probably over, I just wish I knew where I screwed up. I gamed her perfect in the beginning, to the point where she was ALWAYS trying to hit me up and hang out. Now, it's almost like I'm chasing her around and she wants nothing of it. I screwed this up somehow. It sucks.

  7. #7
    Stereotype is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    ANOTHER UPDATE:

    I am so over this chick. Screw her. If she can't realize that I am the best thing to happen to her, then its her loss.

    On to the next one.

  8. #8
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    You broke it off with her, she was ok with it, and now this is done. If you REALLY want that coat and are not using it as an excuse to step though the golden arch which is her door then go ahead and get it. But get out of there quick, you are right, if she wanted you she would have called you. She has accepted your "break up" so move on to the next one. Remember no AFC shit? And you doing anything other than leaving would make you seem needy.
    Good Luck, Javi

  9. #9
    Stereotype is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I broke it off, and I want to win her back. Tell me next move!

    Quote Originally Posted by mmresd View Post
    You broke it off with her, she was ok with it, and now this is done. If you REALLY want that coat and are not using it as an excuse to step though the golden arch which is her door then go ahead and get it. But get out of there quick, you are right, if she wanted you she would have called you. She has accepted your "break up" so move on to the next one. Remember no AFC sh1t? And you doing anything other than leaving would make you seem needy.
    This is what I am gonna do. Probably give it another week to not seem needy. I'll just go over there (ill call/text first obviously), grab my coat, and leave barely saying anything. Maybe she will come crawling back, maybe not. I dont give a sh1t ive moved on.


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